Feeling Discouraged or Hopeless?
Overdid it
I love to ride my mountain bike. But I’ve got a bad knee, so I must not overdo it.
A few years ago I was mountain biking at Lake Tahoe, and definitely overdid it. My knee was hurting. Bad.
Weeks went by, the pain continued, and it hit me — my mountain biking days were over.
I know. You probably wonder what the big deal is.
But you mountain bikers will understand — when I thought of never again riding on a challenging trail with fantastic views, I felt discouraged — even hopeless.
But many of you face far more serious discouragements — a wayward child, terminal illness, chronic unemployment, or a loveless marriage.
So what’s going on when I feel discouraged or hopeless?
When I feel hopeless and discouraged it’s because when I look to the future — I see nothing that will bring me joy or pleasure.
All I see is pain and difficulty.
But there is good news.
What does God promise when we feel hopeless?
Here’s what Paul says in Rom 15:13 –
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Paul says God is a God of hope — which means those who trust Christ always have reason to be full of hope.
He also says God can change our discouraged hearts so we abound with hope.
How? By the power of the Holy Spirit — who works “in [our] believing.”
When we turn our hearts to trust Jesus and His promises, the Holy Spirit will — in time — cause us to abound in hope.
So here’s how I pursued this when I felt hopeless about mountain-biking –
I turned to trust Jesus Christ just as I was.
We don’t need to get over our hopelessness first. We can come to Him just as we are — thirsty (John 7:37), heavy-laden and needing rest (Matt 11:28), weak in faith (Mark 9:24).
So I turned to Christ and trusted Him to help me.
I confessed my sin of hopelessness to God.
Yes — hopelessness is sin. Here’s why –
Hopelessness is feeling that nothing in my future will bring me joy or pleasure. But if I feel that — then I’m not trusting Jesus as my all-satisfying Treasure. Because if I was trusting Him, I would rejoice in the hope of beholding Him forever (Rom 5:2).
So the fact that I was hopeless meant I was trusting something else to satisfy me — something that was no longer in my future, like mountain-biking. So the reason I’m feeling hopeless is because what I was trusting to satisfy me is gone — which shows that I’m not trusting Jesus to satisfy me.
But it’s sin to trust something besides Jesus as my all-satisfying pleasure (Jer 2:12-13).
So I confessed this to Jesus. I asked Him to forgive me. I trusted His death on the Cross to pay for my guilt. I trusted His perfect life to cover all my sin. I trusted Him to change me.
And by faith alone in Christ alone I was assured that I was completely forgiven, my sin was covered with His righteousness, and God was rejoicing to do me good with all His heart and soul (Jer 32:41).
I earnestly asked the Father to change my heart, by the power of the Spirit.
My problem was that I felt only loss — the loss of the pleasures of mountain-biking. I felt that I had nothing exciting in my future.
But that was a lie. I did have another pleasure — an infinitely greater pleasure. The pleasure of knowing Christ.
But I wasn’t feeling that Christ was the greater pleasure. So I needed a heart change.
We can’t change our own hearts. But the Holy Spirit can. And the Father gives the Holy Spirit to all who ask (Luke 11:13).
So I earnestly asked God to pour upon me the heart-changing work of His Spirit.
I set my heart on truths about Jesus, and prayed over them until I felt the Spirit changing my heart.
I sat at my desk and opened my Bible to truths that described Jesus as my all-satisfying Treasure — like 2Cor 4:16-18; Hab 3:17-18; John 17:24; Rom 5:1-2; Rev 1:5; Rev 5:9.
I prayed for the Spirit to soften my heart and open my eyes. I thought intently about the truth of each verse. I prayed for more help. And thought some more.
This took time.
But slowly — slowly — I started feeling pleasure in thinking about Jesus. Not huge — but more than I had been feeling. That increased until I actually felt joy in beholding Him. Over the next days I had times when I felt such joy in Jesus that I didn’t mind not mountain-biking again.
Now I could feel that my future involved the joy of beholding Jesus forever (Rev 21:22-23).
And I saw that any loss of mountain-biking would be used by Jesus to bring me even more joy in Him (2Cor 4:16-18).
The Holy Spirit had changed my heart — and my view of the future.
But maybe at this point you’re thinking — “My hopelessness is far worse than the loss of mountain-biking. Could God restore my hope — after the loss of my husband? The loss of my job? The loss of my health?”
The answer is Yes. Because even if your loss is huge, the joy of knowing Jesus is far greater.
That’s what Paul means when he says our trials here are momentary and light compared to the eternal weight of glory we will have in Christ (2Cor 4:16-18).
I also prayed that God would heal my knee.
God had changed my heart, so my hope didn’t depend on being healed. My hope was in beholding Christ forever.
But still — I enjoyed riding my mountain-bike. So I prayed for God to heal my knee.
And over the next months the pain slowly went away. Now I am back to riding my mountain bike (but I’m being careful not to overdo it!).
So pray for whatever it is that caused your hopelessness. Ask God to work in your finances, your employment, your health, your wayward child.
But at the same time, fight the fight of faith to keep trusting Christ as your all-satisfying Treasure.
Feedback? Thoughts? Comments?
I’d love to hear them — feel free to leave a reply below. Thanks.
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And here’s some further reading you might find helpful –
- How God comforted Hudson Taylor when his wife died.
- How David Brainerd overcame discouragement.
- How one word removed discouragement.
- Are you discouraged in prayer?
- When Martin Luther was struggling.
(The picture is from PhotoExpress.com.)
Hello Steve Fuller! This was really helpful. It takes time and sometimes the connections aren’t readily apparent to me, but God’s promises and the love of Jesus for me and all life’s situations is definitely a hope restorer (not sure that’s a word, at least not a proper one) & bringer of encouragement. I’m not exactly hopeless, but I’m not truly hopeful either… but God will bring me through like He always does. I’m so glad we don’t have to “fix” it before coming to Jesus…thanks! stacy
I know what you say is true. I’ve lived in hopeless of sorts my entire life as one dream after another has been lost…Now, my hopelessness is great and I can’t get out. I can’t seem to internalize the truth that God loves me, and that knowing God brings me hope. I am 63 and can’t seem to find God!
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts, Marcia.
Here’s what I am praying for you –
“Father, I come to You in Jesus’ name, and ask that You would powerfully meet Marcia. You are the God of hope — and I pray that by the Spirit’s power you would enable her to abound in hope (Rom 15:13). Strengthen her trust in You through Your Word. Lead her to Scriptures which give her a taste of Your glory. Enable her to rejoice in hope of beholding Your glory forever. Pour Your comfort and love into her heart through Jesus Christ. Amen.”
Marcia, here’s some Scriptures which the Father has used to give me hope when I’ve felt hopeless. I pray that they will encourage you as well — Psa 42:5; Rom 15:13; Jer 29:11; 1Peter 1:13.
May the Lord comfort and encourage you,
Steve
Hi Steve,
Thank you for writing this blog. I’m here, like so many others, just feeling very hopeless and overwhelmed. People in my life say that things will get better, but I don’t think they will, except maybe when I die. There is no money, we have more and more unpaid bills everyday, I can’t put my 3 kids into any activities, and everytime I leave my house things seem to be more and more expensive. I’m not even sure if my husband and I will ever be able to just “make ends meeet”. Sometimes I just want to ask God to “stop the world so I get off”. But I know can’t. I just feel really alone in all of this. I’m trying to praise God in all things. I just feel like giving up. I feel like a waste of space. There were so many things that I should have done differently in my life, and now my family is suffering for it. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. And on top of everything else, my husband is not a believer right now. I just don’t know what to do. Thank you for reading my comment. God Bless you
Hi Hilary –
I am so sorry to hear about your circumstances. Sounds very, very difficult — and painful.
I think the best thing I can do is pray for you — I hope you don’t mind.
“Father, I come to You in Jesus’ name. Please, please meet Hilary today. Give her strength to seek You earnestly — to pour out her soul before You — to lay hold of Your promises.
“Give her faith to believe that You will strengthen her faith (Mark 9:24). Help her see that in spite of past mistakes, You will still be faithful to all Your promises to her.
“Comfort her in Your love. Strengthen her in Your promises. Satisfy her with Your presence.
“And bring about a dramatic change in the heart of her husband, in their finances, in their whole situation — for Hilary’s good and Your glory.”
As I wrote that I thought of a couple other posts you might find helpful —
How my grandmother fought the fight of faith
Promises for those struggling with unemployment
Facing problems or trials?
Are you discouraged in prayer?
One more thing — are you in a solid, Christ-exalting and Bible-based church — where you can find a small group of earnest believers who will pray for you, encourage you, help you? That’s so, so important.
Please let me know how things go –
Hillary,
When I read your post, I felt like someone was reading my mind. I just finished a conversation with my husband saying almost word for word what you wrote here. I am a christian and I love the Lord, but I’m also feeling discouraged and hopeless about my future because of all the opportunities I missed out on in my life and the choices I made – I’m paying for them now and so are my 4 children. I’m recently married to a wonderful God fearing Man and I thank and Praise God for that, but for myself I feel a personal loss of the purpose and visions I once had for my own life. We are struggling and trying to make ends meet monthtly, we are trying to do all the things we are taught to do in terms of spiritual principles but, I just feel I missed my opportunities in life, I turned 40 a few months ago and I feel that it’s too late for me, that my only purpose now is to raise my children the best I can and stop worrying about trying to fullfill my own dreams and aspirations. I know I’m not speaking as a faith-filled woman of God, but this is honestly how I feel, heavy, tired and ready to “get off the world”. I wish I could say this feeling has only been with me for a while, but it’s been with me for many, many years. I’m wondering how you’re doing after the last few months since you’ve posted here.
Hello Renee –
Thanks for stopping by, and for sharing your encouragement with Hillary.
Your situation sounds very difficult — discouraging — depressing.
But — let me just share a few thoughts. (I am speaking to myself, too.) Because you are trusting in Jesus Christ — you can be assured that God loves you — and that He will meet you, strengthen you, comfort you, and bless you.
I don’t know what that will look like. But He does — and it will be good. Very good.
“Father, I ask that You would powerfully meet Renee today. Guide her to Scriptures on which she can meditate. Enlighten the eyes of her heart by the work of Your Spirit. Show her your mercy and grace and love.
“Today — give her a sign for good. Strengthen her to hope in You even more. Satisfy her with Your nearness, Your love, Your beauty.
“Provide finances. Give her wisdom about past vision and purposes. Bless her through her children and husband. Give her Your vision for the rest of her life.
“In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
the past 2 years have been excruciatingly painful in book of job-like ways. living moment-by-moment. this article gently convicted and encouraged me to bring the ashes of my life continually to the GOD of hope. am so glad that you are using your gift of expression to point to Jesus. appreciate your prayers. thank you for sharing.
I am so glad you found this encouraging, Guin. Thanks for letting me know — and I will pray for you right now. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Im feeling so discouraged and hopeless, I dont know how to carry on anymore. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me, and its been about 5 months. He said he loves me when we broke up, and just needs time to find himself. Since then, he has been spending time with another girl and has seemed to have replaced me. I love him with all my heart but I dont see hope for a future with him because right now, hes not contacting me at all. I pray for hope and encouragrment. and that its in Gods will that this situation turns out for the best.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart, Amy.
This sounds very painful, but Psa 42:5 says that we can always put our hope in God.
Do you have some women around you who love Jesus and could pray with you and encourage you? Fellowship is crucial at times like this.
I would also urge you to pour your heart out before God, through Jesus. Ask Him to help you. Ask Him to comfort You with outpourings of His love.
He may or may not have your boyfriend come back to you. But what’s most important is that He will do whatever will bring you closer to Him.
Keep me posted on how you are doing — and I am going to pray for you right now.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Somethings get me down, but this reminded me of where I am supposed to be putting my hope and expectations into , and that is Jesus Christ. I have always wanted to trust in Jesus but up till now It was only words, God used you to open my heart and really trust in him for a life only Jesus can provide. Thank you , I am hoping for the same changes you have been through, to find hope in Jesus Not all these worldly things that keep disappointing me.
Hi Liza,
It’s a joy to meet you and to hear your story. Thank you for your encouraging words. I am so glad you are growing in trusting Jesus Christ.
He is worth it all!
Steve Fuller
Hi
I was in a MVA 3 years and 2 months ago. I have done everyting there is to be done rehabilitation, surgery, etc. I was 30 when I got hit and now my life has become so,very very small. And I keep wondering why God has allowed this to go on for as long as this. I live in pain every day and am about 25% as productive as pre mva. I am single and I have accumulated so so many unanswered prayers, my hopelessness makes it difficult to get out of bed in the mornings.
Hi Annette –
I am so sorry to hear about your accident and what you have suffered as a result. I can understand how you would feel completely hopeless.
But let me encourage you that God is faithful to His promises. As you are trusting Jesus you can know for sure that He is orchestrating everything to bring you more heart-satisfaction in Him.
He will give you the strength, wisdom, finances, and peace you need — as you set your heart on Him and fight the fight of faith to trust Him.
Are you part of a church family? If you had some sisters around you to help you look to Christ, it would help greatly.
I will pray for you right now — please keep us posted on how you are doing.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hi Steve,
Thank you for your blog. I’m not hopeless, but my faith isn’t as high as I desire it to be. I have so many prayers for God and I know he will answer them in his timing. I just feel like I can always be better for God. I force myself to try to fall more in love with him. When he already loves me and I already love him. I want God to change me. Completely transform me by the renewing of my mind. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and a lot of insecurity. I want God to break every chain until God and I are one! I want to be the woman of God, He is calling me out to be. I don’t want to be scared to speak out and get out of my comfort zone. I’m tired of keeping to myself and not fellowshiping like I want to. A few weeks ago I was just focusing on the question; when am I going to meet the man of God I’m going to marry? After I realzied I should just focus on God and keep pursuing him and then he will give me the desires of my heart. I just have a deep longing for my soulmate, but I need to focus on Jesus. I’ve been very scared about my future. I’ve been praying on what’s God’s will for my life. It’s my first year in college and I don’t know which path to turn. I want to be successful and I want to help people. I feel I need a change of heart. I need to trust God will all of my heart and not lean on my own understanding. I want God to use me in a mighty way. I have some old friends that came in contact with me recently and they are saying that they are depressed and feel empty. I want to bring them to Christ. I want them to know Jesus and feel whole in their heart just like I did when I got saved. I don’t want my prayers to be weak. I feel like my prayers have been weak lately. I want God to speak through me and bless me with his spirit. He is not a spirit of fear so I don’t know why I’m always fearful.
I feel hopeless today. I looked and listened to everyone in my family at our Christmas dinner and realized that I didn’t have the things everyone has (a significant other, kids, a good job, nice car, house, friendships, beauty, an education, talent ,brains,… I could go on and on). As happy as I felt to be around my family, I mostly felt depressed, ashamed. I do pray. I do believe in Jesus. I just feel awful, knowing I couldn’t be making him proud. I am not successful at anything, haven’t found my talent or my spiritual gift. I don’t make much money,and dont have many friends. I can’t help but feel hopeless. I am asking if you please pray a prayer for me? I pray the Lord will open my eyes and show me what to do with my life, I know he will also supply any tools I might need. I just want to be successful, in my family’s eyes, my eyes, and most importantly in Jeses’ s eyes. I’m 26.
Hi Maria,
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
It sounds like you are in a difficult place, and I will pray for you right now. And did you have a chance to work through the steps I outline in this blog post? I am convinced that as we turn to God as we are, trusting that through Jesus we are forgiven and welcomed, and then fighting the fight of faith to trust God’s promises — the Holy Spirit will change our hearts and give us hope.
I’d love to hear how God meets you in this process. And in the meantime, I will pray.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I’m 44 and after 22 years of marriage my husband had yet another affair and we split up, it’s been 10 months and there is no chance of reconciliation. The love was gone years ago ,and now for the first time in my life I’m alone. I have kids yes but still feel alone. I feel I have no future and I know I’m doing things in my life I shouldn’t do and am working on that ,but why do I feel I will never be happy? Never know what love is? I want God in my life but I don’t even feel worthy of Him. I feel like I cannot be what He wants me to be. I know part of my problem is the life I’m living, it’s not what God wants but it feels like it’s all I know.people keep telling me I will find love ,that I’m pretty and smart yet I feel I’m a lie. No one knows my secret life and I am even ashamed to say it here.I just want a reason to get up in the morning ,I want to see that I do have a great future in front of me and that God has a wonderful plan for me, but I don’t feel that at all. I feel alone. I feel ashamed. I feel hopeless.I don’t want to feel this way but I have only known this feeling for most of my life. I have no family no friends ,nothing . I don’t even feel like meeting people at times. I don’t know what me writhing all this will do but I just want to reach out to someone .
Hi Kimberle,
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your story. I am very sorry to hear about your marriage. I have no idea how painful this must be — but my heart does go out to you.
If my wife and I could be there with you, we would want to hear much more, weep with you, and just do a lot of listening. But we can’t be there with you, so I think the best thing I could do would be to point you to Jesus Christ — He cares about you deeply, He died so you could be forgiven and restored to God the Father, and it will be in the arms of your Father that you will be fully and lastingly comforted and satisfied.
And don’t worry about being worthy of God’s love. Because of our sin, none of us are. But when we trust Jesus Christ as our Savior, Lord, and Treasure, we are clothed with His perfect righteousness, and the Father accepts us as if we ourselves were perfectly righteous. So trust Jesus, and receive everything He promises to be to you.
Are you part of a church community with some trusted women who will come alongside you, listen to you, weep with you, pray for and with you, and counsel you? That is crucial at a time like this.
I will pray for you right now — please keep us posted on how you are doing, and how God works in your life.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I just found your blog and have been reading through many of your posts. But this one in particular touched my spirit. I love The Lord Jesus…my faith and trust is in Him alone. But for so many years I have suffered with bodily afflictions and infirmities that prevent me from going out (especially when the weather is bad or cold). I don’t get to church often. I feel so alone and isolated. I have prayed for God to help me truly BELIEVE the promises are FOR ME PERSONALLY. But I can’t seem to connect with them in my heart. I guess I’ve grown hardened because of years of disappointment and discouragement despite all my prayers and crying out to God. I feel hopeless…to the point that I feel He doesn’t hear or has left me to suffer in my circumstance without any relief. I pray all the time to be filled with the Holy Spirit and that His Word would come alive and be “real” to me…but I still feel empty inside and hopeless. I am afraid that I do not have the Spirit of God within me…yet I YEARN for Jesus so badly. I am at the point where I feel this is God’s will for me and I just must accept this sad life. I want so much to feel His presence and know His JOY! I haven’t felt the joy of The Lord in many, many years. I try not to complain…but I am so tired of asking, waiting, hoping for answers and a change in my life, but things remain the same—both physically and spiritually. My life has become so dry and stagnant. I love God and His word…but I feel like its not REAL for me no matter how much I read, meditate and pray over the Scriptures. I so envy other Christians who experience the joy, peace and love of the Lord. I cry out to God to forgive my unbelief and make His word and His presence real to me…but nothing has changed..no answer. Please pray for me…maybe the Lord will answer your prayer for me. Thank you for your blog and posts…and for reading my post. God bless you.
Hi Paulette –
Thank you for sharing your story, and I apologize for taking so long to respond (I lost track of your comment and just saw it today).
I will certainly pray for you. And are you part of a Bible-believing church which has some wise, Jesus-loving women who could pray for and with you? Fellowship is a crucial part of fighting the fight of faith.
It might be helpful to read a post a wrote on “Promises for Those Disappointed by God.”
And let Psa 13 and Psa 42 encourage you — both written by godly people who were hungering for God but not yet experiencing Him.
And cling to Jesus’ promises in John 4:13-14; John 6:35; and John 7:37-38. Keep coming to Him just as you are — trusting Him to forgive you, change you, and satisfy you.
I don’t know the time frame in which He will fulfill His promises, but He will fulfill them. And in the meantime, even your seeking of Him will be more satisfying than anything else.
And please keep me posted on what He does for you (and consider letting us know on the Forums page — because lots more people will read your comments there — thanks!).
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I am hopeless because I feel as though nothing but bad things happen in the world. I have two very small children, and as a mother, I am horrified! It seems when I start to get to a good point, something else happens. I am trying my hardest to find hope, but the world is just too scary.
Hi Keri,
Thank you for sharing your heart. And I agree that the world is a scary place.
What helps me is to see that God is in sovereign control over everything that happens, and to see His love as displayed on the Cross.
So God is both sovereign and loving. Here’s what this means. Because Jesus died on the Cross, through trusting Him I am completely forgiven and accepted by God. AND He will let nothing come my way except what will bring me closer to Him, and He will give me grace to handle every trial.
I pray that you can draw near to Jesus Christ, see and feel His love and power and glory, and “abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I am saved, and I love the lord as my personal savior.
I have hope in Him in everything. But I sometimes feel discouraged. This is because my life doesn’t seem to progress. Its like I am stuck in a circle. I have no job, thus, I can’t effectively realize my ministry area of calling. I have been believing God to provide for me a job; pray with me. Majority of my age mates and college mates are doing pretty well. May God remember me.
Thanks Steve
Thanks for sharing your story, E.M.
I will pray for you right now.
And are you part of a church community who can be praying with you and encouraging you through this tough time? That is so important.
And keep fighting to trust God’s promises which are true in Christ. He is being faithful to you, even during this season. You might want to read my post on “Promises For Those Struggling With Unemployment.”
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hi Steve, I’ve been reading your blog for some time now and I find it incredibly balanced and encouraging. In the above blog you write about pressing into God to be all you need when your knee failed but you do not mention healing.please help me, I am at the stage where I have relapsed into an illness I was once healed from, walking is painful to the point where normal functioning is no longer possible. Pain affects my moods and makes me snappy. All of this could be easily overcome by purchasing a powered wheelchair. I occasionally borrow one so know how much it improves my joy and relationship with my two young children. However, I feel almost persecuted by other Christians who feel I have in’ to the illness by even mentioning it out loud. Please help me to get some perspective on this. I don’t want to give in to the illness but I was already healed once and enjoyed it very much. I enjoy life and feel grateful am here – but it does not seem like God’s time to heal & I don’t want to deprive my children of a fun mum by insisting on not using a wheelchair just because it might be a ‘confession’ of the illness. Please help – I’m SO confused!
Hi Lorraine,
I am so sorry for the pain and difficulty you are having in walking. I see no problem at all with you purchasing a powered wheelchair.
I do believe we should pray for God to bring supernatural healing. But it’s not a matter of unbelief to understand that God might choose not to heal us, and it’s not unbelief to purchase a wheelchair.
I did write a blog post on what it means to pray with faith, and a post on whether praying in faith means believing God will always give what you are asking for — you might find these helpful.
I hope this encourages you, Lorraine, and let me know what other questions you might have.
(And feel free to post questions on the Forum page, since more readers will see and respond to your questions if you post there.)
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I do believe in God but this hopelessness that I have is really starting to eat me up. It’s not just unemployment or bad health or anything to be exact. I’m just hopeless, simply hopeless. I’m almost 24 now. Not good at my studies(don’t know if I’ll ever graduate), do not have a wealthy background financially, not good at music, or any sort of art, not physically strong or fit, not healthy, and not good looking either….. a total no-future guy. I’m begining to think how I will survive the world. Don’t want to end up a junk.
Hi Juann,
Thank you for sharing your story.
Here’s my thoughts. The reason you are hopeless is because you are looking to things that can’t give you hope. Money, studies, music, art, health, looks — none of those are worth hoping in, because none of them can give you an all-satisfying future.
But Jesus Christ can and will give you a future in which you are filled to overflowing with joy — in Him. And you don’t need to wait until the future, because He will give you a heart-filling taste now.
Once you set your hope on Him, then He will guide you to pursue whatever He has called you to do. If it’s studies, He will give you grace to work hard. If it’s music, He will give you whatever level of success He has chosen for you.
But your joy and satisfaction won’t be found in studies or music — it will always and only be found in Him.
I hope this helps. Let me know what you think.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hi Steve!
Your story is really inspiring. I’m happy that I can be able to share to you my thoughts. I really feel so hopeless in everything I do. I’m good in my studies and a good athlete also. I love doing things like baking but I just feel that nobody appreciates me. I think everything that i have now is not enough. I am really pressured but nobody is pressuring me. I want everything tobe okay. I can’t accept disappointments and loses hope immediately. I love God so muchbut evrytime I get closer to Him, it seems like there’s something that is pulling me back and then I got back to zero. I can’t trust anyone but myself because i’m afraid and I don’t know why. I’m so insecure by my classmates’ slim bodies, talents even in their love life i get jealous. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared to be really close to God because if He would test me, i might fail because I easily lose hope. I want people around me to be happy, be proud of me and appreciate me. I just want to be optimistic and really be close to God without being afraid. I want to have a healthy relationship with Him. I want to talk about my sadness and my happiness with Him but I don’t know how to start. Hoping for your response, thank you!
Hi steve!
I’m sorry for the error in my previous comment. I really like your story and thank you for making me able to share my thoughts with you. I’m a Christian girl who knows much about God and of course I love Him. It’s just sometimes when i’m trying to be really close to Him, there’s something that’s pulling me back. I’m now scared to get back to Him because every time I do, i think i’m getting worse. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m very insecure by my friends. In terms of their lifestyle but i’m better from them in terms of studies but i think it is not enough to be satisfied, it seems that they don’t have any problems but me i’m so pressured and there’s no one pressuring me. I just want my family be happy, be proud of me and appreciate me. I want to have a healthy relationship with Christ without being scared at all. I just don’t know how to start even though i’ve tried it many times.
I believe in Jesus and know that he died for me on the Cross for my sins, but i have always gone my own way,which in turn has destroyed me. i feel so broken because my 8 year relationship came to an end 4 months ago, last year we had a really bad time,i took all my anger and frustrations out on him, until one day he couldn’t take it any more and left me.I didn’t know where he had gone and he dodn’t contact me for about six days before he said he wasn’t coming back, then we started to work things out and every thing was going so well and then bang,I blew up for him not turning up when he was meant to, you see for a big part of the relationship i blow up and he runs and then will not contact me for day’s its been seven now, i’m here trying to look after three kids and it is so hard because all i want to do is cry. I can’t handle any more run of’s it hurts to much and who knows what he is really up to i’m trying to let him go but i really don’t wont to i love him so much, i asked God for peace and i’ve asked him to help me let him go on one hand but on the other i have asked if he could change our hearts work on both of us and then bring us back together. what if this is not Gods will i don’t think i can handle that. where is the hope if every thing you pray for is always answered no.
I enjoyed your thougths and reading the comments. I’m a bit (!) older and any “hope” of mountain biking is way gone!! (Walking more or less upright is a great joy!). I think we need hope for the long haul….and we need resources for discouragement that work as well when they give us our first walker or tell us we are down to a matter of days left here. I don’t mean to be grim….but hope that fades when this earthly life fades might be less than the hope Jesus gives!! ” set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed..” 1 Pet. 1:13. Fully sounds pretty comprehensive. That’s our new-birthright in Jesus. Blessings!!
Hi Dan,
I love your reference to 1Peter 1:13. You are exactly right — all of our hope should be centered on beholding Jesus in glory forever.
And that hope shines all the brighter as we draw nearer to eternity.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hello Steve,
I am writing today because I’ve never in my 54 years felt as hopeless or as lost as I do today. My life has been in a downward spiral for the last year and that if my life continues on its current path I’ll be dead, homeless or both in the next 6 months. I feel that I am a 1000 miles away from where I should be at this point in my life. My wife of 20 years has met another and left me. I have only an acquaintance or two and no one I can really talk to about life. My wife and her family were my whole world. I have no family of my own. When my kids spend half the week with their mother the loneliness that I feel is suffocating. I just want to hide in my room with the curtains drawn and never come out again. My finances are a complete shambles and unpaid bills are piling up and my savings are almost wiped out. I owe back taxes that I don’t know how I’ll pay them. I have no energy despite my daily efforts to eat right and excercise.
I am one of the hardest working people I know but I only seem to be going backward in life. I have thoughts of ending my life. I think it would be beneficial for my children to have my life insurance money. The love I have for my children (14 &16) is the only thing that keeps me from driving off a cliff. Than I think that maybe it would be the highest love I could give my children is to be gone and then they won’t know how big a loser their dad really is.
I long for the soft touch of a woman. To hold someone’s hand. For a hug. When I go to the grocery store I try to just brush my hand against the cashier’s when they hand me change just to feel that touch. Even if it’s just for that half a second. For a woman that could prepare a meal for us where I could once again enjoy a Sunday dinner with my boys and a companion like a real family. I can’t cook a lick.
I don’t know what to do. Where to go. I’m tired, lonely beyond words, broke and beaten. I have screamed out to God in the middle of the night to please help me. Please guide me. Please tell me what I should do. But there is only silence.
Any advice you have would be appreciated. I raise the white flag. I have nothing left. Nothing. Thank you if you read this. It’s good of you to help others,
D
Hi Don,
My heart breaks for you, brother. I am so sorry for the losses and sorrows you carry.
All I know is that God is faithful. As you trust Christ, the Father is caring deeply about you. Although it doesn’t look like it at all, He is working all of this to bring you the great good of more of Him.
Fight the lies telling you to end your life. Can you find a church nearby where there might be a few humble, wise brothers who can pray with and for you? It might be worth finding a biblical counselor who could help point you to the Father during this painful time.
I will pray for you right now. Please let me know how things go for you.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
God bless you Steve. May He surround you with people who will lift you up as you are lifting others.
Having acne/allergy-not sure which-tired of medication, totally waiting on God. It discourages me to look in the mirror. I’m a young lady and would like to enjoy my youth with healthy skin. Doing what nutritionists advised and waiting. My Lord Jesus has encouraged me through you.
Hi Meken,
I am so thankful that the Lord encouraged you through this post. Thank you for taking the time to let me know — and may the Lord continue to bless you, strengthen you, satisfy you fully in Himself — and help you with your acne/allergy issues.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
hi Steve,
your blog has been such a life saver in that I have been reading the different articles the past few days and I tell you the things that had my heart entwined are falling off because as I read your passages I am at the same time pouring out my heart to God and confessing the sin and telling God how i feel and also identifying the causes therefore the burdens are being lifted.
This one in particular I have been dealing with for a while now this discouragement-hopelessness one. Its a silent killer and like Don I can identify with exactly what he is going through although i havent lost a wife or spouse I am 28 and single but when you have things that you have been praying to God for and hoping in him for and it just seems like a never ending story its quite hard to look on the bright side.
But i am glad I am made aware by the verse you mentioned from Romans that through His spirit He(God)Romans 15:13 will help me. I think i was trying to come to him having first got rid of the hopelessness. now my mind keeps defaulting to the thought that well you’ve tried this before trusted/leaned on God and nothing happened so its kind of like my heart is broken in that area and so does not want to go there again and believe God but i will confess and tell Him this cause only He can renew my heart and mind and spirit.
But thank you, its so therapeutic to have come across your site it really is for us that are sick/wounded in our Spirits and need healing and help and have tried and looked elsewhere for the help we can only get from Christ.
It feels good to know someone out there completely identifies and has been able to prescribe effectively what to do from the word of God how we should deal with these issues.
Thank you and God bless you!
Hi Geri,
Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing your story. And you are so right that we don’t need to get rid of our hopelessness first — we bring it to Him and He will change our hearts and strengthen our faith.
May the Lord richly bless you,
In Christ,
Steve Fuller