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Biblical, battle-tested, real-life help for "living by faith in the Son of God" (Galatians 2:20). — Steve Fuller

This Morning – Spiritually – I Felt Nothing

Feeling nothing

I got up early.  Wrote in my journal.  Prayed for God to meet me in His Word.

I read from Ezekiel, Job, John, and 1 John — seeing Jesus as my shepherd (Eze 34:23), how nothing can snatch me from His hands (Jn 10:28), and how as I abide in the Word I will abide in the Son and the Father (1Jn 2:24).

Powerful truths.  Soul-stirring truths.  But not for me.  Not this morning.

This morning I was feeling nothing.

No love for Jesus.  No sorrow for sin.  No love for others.

Scary.

So what can I do?

I prayed

Yes, I had prayed before.  But now I’m praying with more passion —

Father, I’m reading glorious truths about You — and feeling nothing.  Help me.

I come to you in Jesus’ name.  It’s wrong that I feel nothing. 

You are the Infinite Joy of the universe.  Right this moment millions of angels are on their faces before You in white-hot worship.

For Jesus’ sake, forgive me for my stony-hard heart — and the unbelief that’s behind it. 

Show me what’s causing this — so I can repent, trust You afresh, and meet You powerfully.

Search me, O God, and know my heart.  Try me and know my anxious thoughts.  And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  (Psalm 139:23-24).

No progress

I’m seeing no progress.  Gaining no insight.  Feeling no different.

Father, if I need to move on with my day, I will.  But I don’t want to. 

I am hungry for bread of life – thirsty for living water. 

O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You.  My soul thirsts for You, my flesh faints for you (Psalm 63:1-2).

Still — I’m feeling nothing.  Except growing discouragement.

But then I remember Psa 40:1-3.  When David’s heart was sunk in the miry bog, he waited on the Lord, and the Lord lifted him out, stood him on the rock.

Memory verses

So I decided to pull out my memory verse cards and pray over the next few verses to see what God might do.

Father, help me.  Faith comes by hearing — so use your Word to strengthen my faith.

Reveal Jesus to me.  Show me my sin.  Help me see what’s wrong in my heart.

I start with Matthew 12:34-37 — reviewing it in my mind.  Powerful truth.  But no fireworks or thunder.  And yet somehow I feel cleaner.

Then I go to Matthew 13:44 —

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

And as I pray over this verse something starts to happen.

Not fireworks.  But maybe a sparkler.  I start to see my problem —

I’m not seeing the Treasure

All I’ve been seeing is a field to be weeded and worked — things I’ve got to get done.

But there’s a Treasure in that field — Jesus Christ.

As I ponder that,  it feels like a fog of grayness is clearing, and I start to see —

There is a Treasure.  It’s You — Jesus Christ.  I can know You.

And the way I live today can bring me more of You — now and forever.

My faith is strengthening.  My heart is changing.  I’m seeing Jesus — and desiring Him.

Changed

I continued going over verses.  But Matthew 13:44 had done the heavy lifting.

I was out of the miry bog.

I was standing on the Rock.

I saw and felt Christ as my Treasure.

I felt growing love for Christ, faith in what He would do, and love for others.

He had changed my heart.

Comments?  Feedback?  Questions?

I’d love to hear them — leave a reply below.  Thanks.

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(Picture is from everystockphoto by scragz.)

Category: Stories from My Life

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4 Responses

  1. Bill Schuler says:

    Wow….I never work that hard at seeking God….Thank you Steve for your example, and for sharing your struggles.

  2. Bill Schuler says:

    For the past couple of mornings I have approached God with your words in this blog. Admittedly I did not devote the same amount of time required to experience the heart change that you did, nonetheless, my heart was pleased by the confession of those truths. I will break through!

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