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Biblical, battle-tested, real-life help for "living by faith in the Son of God" (Galatians 2:20). — Steve Fuller

My 5:30 AM Battle

5:30 AM — the attack comes

I woke up feeling deeply discouraged, inadequate, and bitter.

I won’t go into the details (wouldn’t be appropriate) — but I will journal my battle.

5:45 AM — I prepare to counter-attack

I’m sitting at my desk with my tea.

Here’s what I wrote in my journal —

Father, I come to you in my weakness, unbelief, and sin.  I am trusting Jesus’ blood and righteousness to make me welcome. 

Thank You that because of Him You are running towards me with open arms — with all the grace and help I need.

Help me fight the fight of faith.  My feelings of discouragement and inadequacy and bitterness show that I am NOT seeing You clearly.  THAT’s my problem.  So use your Word to show me who You are. 

I am praying Rom 15:13 – that You will fill me with all joy and peace in believing — and by the power of the Spirit cause me to abound in hope in You.

5:50 AM — I go to war

My Bible reading plan takes me to Isaiah 65-66 —

I linger over 65:17-18 —

For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth …

Be glad and rejoice forever in that which I create.

So — some things are not going according to MY plan.

But — everything IS going according to YOUR plan — a plan which will bring gladness and joy forever.

Help me to trust YOUR plan, and to lay down mine.

Forgive me for the pride of thinking my plan is better than Yours.

I trust Your plan, Father.

5:58 AM — Who is the ultimate builder?

Next I ponder Isaiah 66:1-2 —

Heaven is my throne and the earth is my footstool … what is the house YOU would build for me?  All these things MY hand has made … declares the Lord.

You built the heavens — and the earth — and the temple in Jerusalem.

So even though Israel had a hand in building the temple — YOU are the ultimate builder.

Help me trust that You WILL build your church — even with my inadequacies.

Help me trust that You ARE building — even when certain things aren’t happening, even when parts don’t make sense.

6:17 AM — open my mind to understand!

The Bible-reading plan took me next to Luke 24:45 —

Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.

The reason I’m discouraged is because sin has closed my mind — I’m not seeing God as He is revealed in Scripture.

But Jesus can open my mind to SEE who He is in His Word.

Jesus, this is what I need!

Destroy my mind-closing sin — and pride — and unbelief.

Open my mind to SEE and FEEL and UNDERSTAND who You are.

I look to You.  I trust You.  Do this precious work in me right now.

6:23 AM — God will equip me with all I need

Next I read Hebrews 13:20-21 —

Now may the God of peace … equip you with everything good that you may do His will.

Yes, I feel inadequate.  And in truth I actually AM inadequate.

But God will equip me with everything good I need to do His will.  He’s promised.

Thank You for this precious promise. 

I trust You, Father.

You will give me everything I need to do Your will.

What happened

I am not jumping up and down for joy.

But God has transformed my heart.

I am feeling strong.  Assured.  At peace.

I have felt His loving touch — sensed His presence — been satisfied in Him.

I am trusting His promises.

I am ready for the day.

How have you experienced this?

I’d love to hear — leave a reply below.  Thanks!

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(Picture from everystockphoto by soldiersmediacenter.)

Category: Stories from My Life

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7 Responses

  1. Thank you so much for sharing Mr. Fuller! It was challenging and encouraging to me to read through your step by step battle. I am so amazed at how the Lord is so faithful to see us safely through each of our battles! I was having one of these battles just yesterday morning and the Lord brought Isaiah 41:10,13-14, a favorite of mine, to my mind and so blessed and helped me. He upholds us and we do not need to fear because He is our God!

  2. Deb says:

    Thanks for your honesty and your battle plan Steve, I often suffer from night raids. Thanks for being an ally in my fight of faith.

    God bless you
    Deb x

  3. Sarah says:

    I really needed this thanks. I just prayed what you wrote in your journal, I’m very glad you wrote this down cause I have needed to pray this but I didn’t know how to say or explain how I was feeling to God. Even though he already knows.

  4. wanda says:

    I have had the same type of days every day this week! Its only when I begin to speak the word of God and offer praise and worship to him do I feel this oppressive spirit lift. I am so glad to have found this blog!! God Bless!

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