Fearful or Worried?
A routine appointment
It was supposed to be a routine appointment with the eye-doctor.
But then a test showed that my peripheral vision was deteriorating. The doctor was surprised at the results, so he ran the test again. Same results.
He tried to act calm, but I could tell he was worried. And when he said he wanted to schedule more tests, it hit me — I might have something seriously wrong.
As I walked out of the doctor’s office I felt that I’ve-just-been-kicked-in-the-stomach kind of fear. Because I realized my vision might be failing. I might be going blind.
Fear. Worry. Anxiety. We all experience them.
But it had been a long time since I felt fear like this — heart racing, dizzy head, knees weak.
And yet, as I drove the 45-minutes home, God worked a miracle. Honest truth — He took away the fear and replaced it with peace and even joy.
Here’s how it happened —
I turned my heart toward Jesus and trusted Him.
Here’s one reason I love Jesus — even when I’m full of fear, I can turn to Him just as I am and He welcomes me.
So I turned to Jesus, knowing that even with weak faith I was completely forgiven, clothed in Jesus’ perfect righteousness, and passionately loved by God (Mark 9:24; Eph 2:8-9; Heb 4:14-15).
I cried out for the heart-changing work of the Spirit.
I was feeling so much fear that peace seemed impossible. But I went ahead and asked Jesus — earnestly — to free me from fear and fill me with peace.
I was honest with Him about the losses I feared.
I talked with Jesus about the losses I feared — not being able to provide for my family, not being able to pastor Mercy Hill Church, and all the conveniences and joys that come from seeing.
I fought to trust that Jesus’ presence is more than enough to make up for these losses.
Jesus promises that His presence is so satisfying — that no matter what losses we experience we can be full (John 6:35). How is that possible?
Think about it like this. If someone stole $10,000 you would feel a great loss. But what if an hour later a long-lost uncle gave you $10 billion? You would still be out $10,000. But that $10 billion would more than make up for the $10.000 loss.
So I asked God to help me feel the infinite treasure I have in knowing Christ — a treasure great enough to make up for any earthly loss. I prayed over Scriptures like Psa 16:11; Psa 73:25-26,28; Matt 13:44; Phil 3:8-9; 2 Cor 4:16-18.
Here’s what happened. All I was feeling up to this point was fear of loss. But as I prayed over these truths about Jesus, I felt my heart start to change. Slowly I started to feel the reality and majesty and goodness of Jesus.
Over the next minutes this grew until I had such a taste of Jesus’ glory that — honestly — the thought of blindness didn’t bother me. I felt that this loving and glorious Jesus was so satisfying that with Him even blindness would be OK.
This feeling was not permanent. I’ve often had to fight to get back to being that satisfied in Jesus. But that first experience of satisfaction helped me see what was possible — which encouraged me to fight.
I fought to trust that if God brings about this loss, His purpose is to give me more of Jesus’ presence than I could have known otherwise.
I didn’t fight fear by saying “everything will be fine; I won’t lose my eyesight.” That’s just not true. In His perfect love, God might choose to have me lose my eyesight (Exo 4:11).
But if He does, it’s because the blindness would be a gift of even more of Christ’s all-satisfying presence (2 Cor 4:16-18; 12:9-10; 1 Pet 4:12-13). So I prayed over these Scriptures until I was at peace with whatever God might do.
I fought to to trust that God would solve every other problem this loss might bring.
Losing my vision would mean lots of problems — how would my church be pastored, how would I provide for my wife, how would I be faithful through this trial.
So I prayed over God’s promises about wisdom, finances, comfort, and strength — until the Holy Spirit strengthened my faith and I knew God really would take care of everything (Matt 6:33; Phil 4:13,19; 2 Cor 1:3-4; James 1:5).
I prayed that God would deliver me from this loss, and submitted to whatever He chose to do.
God calls us to ask Him to deliver us from trials (Psa 50:15; 2 Cor 12:7-8). So I also prayed earnestly and persistently that God would supernaturally heal me.
I also tried to pray submissively, because God knows better than me what will bring me closest to Christ.
What I learned
I’d known that God delivers from fear (Psa 37:4). But that afternoon I learned how He delivers.
It’s not by me trying to stay positive (“Everything will be fine”). It’s not by me ignoring the problem (“Just think about something else”). It’s by me fighting the fight of faith — praying over God’s Word until I feel the Holy Spirit giving me such joy in Jesus that I am free from fear.
This is important
This doesn’t mean you ignore everything else and focus only on prayer until the Spirit changes your heart. Before that happens you may need to get some sleep or make your kids’ lunches.
But as soon as you can return to prayer over God’s Word, and don’t stop until He meets you.
And if you doubt that the joy of Jesus is powerful enough to make up for every loss, read Hudson Taylor’s testimony of how God comforted him after his wife’s death.
Medical update
I later went to a specialist, who examined my eyes and said there was probably no problem, but that I should take the same test in a year to see if my eyes get worse.
I was relieved. But I’m also thankful — because this experience showed me how much Jesus can satisfy my heart, and that with His all-satisfying presence fears lose their power.
Questions? Comments?
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How Jesus Frees Us From Fear (4-Min Video -- With French Fries)Bible Passages on FearHow God freed me from fear -- while mountain-biking
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I loved reading this and I was encouraged. I, too, battle fear at times in many areas of life. I think my life verses are Phil. 4:5-8. God often uses these verses to remind me that I am to be free from fear in every area of my life.
God tells me to be anxious for nothing in these verses. If He tells me that then I know it is possible to be free from fear by doing what He says and with a tankful heart to pray making my requests known to Him. I often have to go back to these scriptures and through them find the peace that is beyond comprehension in Him.
Thank you so much, Steve, for sharing your struggle and your victory in this post. You are a blessing to many!
Thanks for your thoughts, Kathy. It brings me great joy to hear from you. Much love to you and Ray.
Pardon the Old King’s English – but that’s how I learned it! “Sufficient unto the day are the evils thereof.” He gives grace in the hour of need – not before it.
I used to deal with fear a lot – even fear that I wouldn’t be ready when Jesus returned. I recall lying in bed one night having fear press down like a heavy cloud- heavy, and heavier as I thought about it. Then I turned my thoughts to God and His goodness. I started counting my blessings. I had a wonderful bed to sleep on. I could hear my husband snoring beside me. I had a roof over my head. Etc., etc., etc. As I counted my blessings, I could literally sense the heaviness leave and God’s peace settle over me. Praise, I discovered, is a wonderful way of dispelling fear!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
I love how you put it — “praise, I discovered, is a wonderful way of dispelling fear.” So true — so gloriously true!
Steve
Bless you brother!
And you!
Well, let’s see (as it were) — Steve Fuller, John Newton, Harvey Conn. Not bad company. All trusting Jesus, all finding his grace sufficient, all holding him up to be exalted among the nations.
Even with a good report from the specialist, your example of trust during distress reflects glory from your shepherd (and Good (Eye) Physician).
Hi I’m unemployt 25 year old fenmale,I’m struglin with fear in mi life of if ever I’m gona get that job I’m lookin for will it ever happen but I know the word of the Lord that evryting I ask in Jesus Crist name it shall be given to me as long as I seek him enerstly he says he will never leave us nor forsken us his unswers are yes and Amen,somtimes I have that confident n faith in him,but other days I fear and wory wich is not Good I’m tryin hard not to but its does happeng please put me in your prayers so that I can have everlasting Faith,Confident,peace and joy in him and never that wana feel this thing instead of worrying,want him to turng my strial or strugles into miracles beacause he works evrytinfor Good,I’m aslo prayin for him to diliver me from this situation not only for me but to all of us!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your heart, Gwen. I will pray right now for the Father to help you, strengthen you, comfort you, and provide the job and finances you need.
Two other posts you might find helpful are —
Praying with faith
and Does faith mean believing I will receive what I’m praying for?
And keep us posted on what the Father does in your life —
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Up in the middle of the night, and the Holy Spirit led me this page. I have struggled my whole life with fears of losing loved oned to death. I find it strange, yet somewhat expectant that the very gift, that I have been given, {holy spirit equips me to write beautiful poetry full of spiritual truths to comfort those in grief) it is the very same thing, that I myself fear, (the fear of grief and missing those who pass away). Now here, I am up in the middle of the night, with an achinh heart ad I dreamt my dad died and then my hubby. Thankyou for the words u wrote, I am going to write down, the truths u realised, and remember them. God bless u brother, your sister in Christ..Jackie
Thank you for sharing your story, and for your encouraging words, Jackie.
May God’s precious promises free you more and more from fear and give you more and more peace.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I’m actually at work at my desk praying and wondering if I will be losing my job by then end of today or tomorrow morning. I handled a sitatuation as best as I could and it was not good enough. I just started writing a book a few months ago and wanted to dedicate more time to writing since I am an apsiring writer. I don’t know what will happen at this job but I am keeping the faith that God is in control and He has my best interest at hand even though I can’t see the bigger picture right now. But I will find out very soon, and I’m still blessed.
Hi R. K. Ray,
I am so sorry to hear about what happened at work. You are absolutely right that God is in control and has your best interest at hand.
Keep trusting His promises through Jesus. Keep fighting the fight of faith. Keep praying. And let us know what happens.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
JESUS LOVES US!!!
WILL SHOULD NOT HAVE FEARS AND WORRIES!!!
WILL SHOULD ALWAYS BELIEVE IN HIM.
PRAISE HIM, LOVE HIM, NO ONLY REMEMBER
THE OUR LORD IS ALWAYS THERE FOR US
WHEN WE NEED HIM!!!
GOD BLESS
Hi Steve,
Thanks for posting this. I am being laid off and have been experiencing anxiety and fear. It is a daily battle to trust God, I want to and get overwhelmed by my circumstances. If you would pray for me, I would appreciate it.
Hi Steve,
I’ve been unemployed for 4years now at first I had substantial savings and was able to survive. Of course all good things come to an end. The money has dried up and now my wife is paying most of the bills and she is struggling. My Dad bless him gives me some money but at his age I should be seeing about him and not the other way round. I went to an interview 2 weeks ago all went well I had done my homework on the company and felt confident. Come the Tuesday I got a call from them I didn’t make it. This seems to be the trend sometimes companies don’t even acknowledge they received your cv even more grant you an interview. It seems every job I go for they seem to be wanting someone else.meanwhile it’s putting a toil on my marriage my wife avoids me by sleeping on the sofa we don’t have a physical relationship how can I in my situation? I feel it’s a mans duty to provide for his family and I can’t. People tell don’t let my faith go don’t give up explain this because if I keep getting disappointed time after time how can my faith be strong when I have all these negative things looming? I pray to God to forgive me for my sins and to be able to move and get work. As I type this there are tears in my eyes. I really don’t know what to do, I’m not even brave enough to commit suicide so that’s out of the question.
Hi Mike,
I pray that the Lord will uphold you to the end and show you how He makes things beautiful in His own time. I had been unemployed for 5 yrs before i got my current job and i experienced a lot of put downs and unhelpful comments from friends and family. I also went through a range of motions from anger to downright i dont care anymore but i bless God for who HE is as looking back now i realise how HE sustained me and taught me to trust in Him closely. How do you tell a man that God can feed him if you have never been hungry yourself and being fed of God? please hold on as the breakthrough is just around the corner, believe me when i say what you have left to go through is not as much as what you have already gone through. In this trying times dont play the hero but go to HIM and let HIM know exactly all you are feeling and fearing and allow HIM work on you as HE walks with you. Know this for certain that you are not an accident and HE has a point and a purpose to everything. I pray the Lord will give you the word and answer that you will hold unto during this period, that will encourage you and lift you through this season in Jesus mighty name amen
Hi Mike: we are all in this boat. DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE, PLEASE. My sister committed suicide 14 years ago and her boys really struggled from it. She was my best friend and I had a breakdown from it. I still miss her all the time. I do not understand why God allows such hardship. I know God loves us but enough is enough. I am praying for a job too. I could loose my car, and heavens knows we need cars. I am very scared too. I cant get calls for interviews because my phone is disconnected, I have two bucks to my name. It’s been this way too long. I am not mad at God, maybe a little, because He promises to supply all our needs. I am starving to death and living on cheerios with water. I am very greatful that it’s me and not my children, they are very successful, thank God, and my kids love me, but they have families too, and I try not to let on about this situation, but I almost can’t take any more of the stress and worry. Thanks for your prayers, I pray for everyone in this situation. Sherry
God I love you so much an I believe in you with my whole heart and soul an mind please for give me I repent my sins to you lord god I need my new dream home an lot’s of money to buy food and pay all of my bills off with instead of struggling in life I need a miracle right now in Jesus name amen
Amazing blog. Thank you for the insight.
Thanks for your encouragement, reading alone won’t be enough so I’m writting it out. Over the years I battle with fears, fear of speech especially can’t express myself fluently, fear of the future thinking if I can ever persper in life etc… but with this words I am confident that God has not giving me the spirit of fear. Pls help add me in your prayers that i should be able to seek Him always with all my heart. And help to deal with fears definitely.
Thanks
I have come across this blog at the perfect time….your blog is an inspiration and I don’t know why I hadn’t seen them earlier but I’m reading all of them starting from 2011 to 2016