Apr 12, 2013
God’s Promises For Those Battling Same-Sex Attraction (Part One)
Same-Sex Attraction
A few days ago a reader commented that he deals with same-sex attraction, and that he’s been pursuing celibacy since becoming a Christian 3 years ago.
His comment stirred me to write about promises which could help those battling same-sex attraction.
So here are four promises (I share four more in Part Two) —
God’s Word tells you the truth about same-sex attraction
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psa 119:105
It’s like you are in a pitch-black world, trying to see what same-sex attraction really is.
Some say it’s your identity — that it defines who you really are. And sometimes that might be how it feels.
But you’re thinking — if only someone would turn on the lights so I can see what it really is.
Here’s good news: God has turned on the lights — through His Word. The Bible is clear that same-sex attraction does not define who you really are. It’s one of many results of sin entering the world, and God’s resulting judgment on that sin (Rom 1:24-32).
We all have sins we are specially drawn to. Mine are pride and discouragement. Yours might include same-sex attraction.
These do not define who we really are. These are the result of the Fall, and all who cast themselves on Christ’s mercy will be enabled to battle and ultimately conquer them.
By faith in Christ alone, you can be completely forgiven
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1Jo 1:9
It makes no difference how you’ve lived or what you’ve done. Jesus’ death on the Cross can pay for all your sins — past, present, and future.
How can you receive this? Not by trying to be good enough. But by coming to Jesus as you are.
Admit to Him that you have no goodness in yourself (Luke 18:13). Tell Him you are genuinely sorry for your sin (2Cor 7:10). And, by faith, look to Him to forgive you, change you, and satisfy you (1Jo 1:9; Luke 18:27; John 6:35).
The moment you do this, God will take all your guilt from you, and pour His love upon you.
You will be completely and everlastingly forgiven.
By faith in Christ alone, God sees you as clothed with Jesus’ perfect righteousness
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2Co 5:21
The moment you trust Christ, all your sin is punished in Jesus, and all Jesus’ perfect righteousness is given to you. Not that you become perfectly righteous at that moment. But God sees you as perfectly righteous.
So no matter what you have thought, desired, or done — when you turn to trust Christ, God sees you as clothed with Jesus’ perfect righteousness. And He’s running to you with open arms (Luke 15:20).
You have every reason to turn to Him.
God will so satisfy you in Himself that you need nothing else
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. Psa 73:25
God might call you to heterosexual marriage. But He might call you to celibacy. And a life of celibacy can look empty.
But that’s a lie which Satan wants to use to destroy you.
You were created for the joy of knowing, worshiping, and beholding God. His joy can so fill and satisfy you that you desire nothing else — not sex, not companionship — nothing.
That’s taught in passages like Psa 4:6-7; Psa 16:11; Psa 63:5-6; Matt 13:44; John 4:13-14; John 6:35; John 7:37-38; Phil 3:8.
So if God is calling you to celibacy, it’s not like you are thirsty, and celibacy is going to be a dry desert. It’s that you are thirsty, and celibacy is God’s path to an oasis that can be experienced now and forever.
So turn from the mirages, and head for the oasis.
Living Water awaits.
More Promises in Part Two
In the next post I share the following promises —
- When you face same-sex temptation God is ready to help (Heb 4:15-16)
- Every same-sex temptation can be overcome (1Cor 10:13)
- Victory is sure (1Cor 6:9-11)
- Jesus is worth it all (Rom 8:18)
Comments? Thoughts?
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And here are some related posts you might find helpful –
- A Reader Wonders About Life Without Sex
- How To Overcome Sexual Temptation
- 6 Reasons Heart-Satisfaction Is Crucial
- How To Be Content
(Picture is from Microsoft Publisher Clipart.)
Yeah, I really liked this. When I lived in a women’s refuge (what used to be called a home for battered women) a lot of us struggled with same-sex attraction while we were in there having escaped from desperately cruel men and now safe In the warmth of other supportive women. Some dabbled in this new desire and some didn’t. After a while we learned from a member of staff who had been there a few decades that about 80% of the women who went through the refuge felt a strong pull toward the same sex once they had left their abusive husbands or partners. For some, this curiosity would eventually lead into habit, others a mere dabble, either way the reality of this statistic made me change my view. Whilst in the women’s refuge I felt this attraction must have been part of my hidden ‘true identity’ but upon learning about how many women went through the same pull after leaving abusive relationships, I realised the truth about it. I never really stopped experiencing same sex attractions after that but realising they had a ‘basis’ other than nature, I certainly stopped acting on them. I was blessed enough to have this particular desire removed very wholly upon my full conversion to true Christianity rather like a tooth being pulled out from the root, but many of my friends (both church goers and borderline) still struggle with this and I don’t envy them. I admire the guy who sent the question in though because I reckon celibacy is the only safe resting place for mixed up emotions about sexual and emotional issues. There are always awesome things at the end of a spiritual wait 🙂
“There are always awesome things at the end of a spiritual wait.” So, so true, Lorraine. Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us. It is so encouraging to hear how Jesus Christ has worked in your life.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hi Steve,
Great article. I especially liked this:
“So if God is calling you to celibacy, it’s not like you are thirsty, and celibacy is going to be a dry desert. It’s that you are thirsty, and celibacy is God’s path to the oasis, an oasis that can be experienced now and forever.”
I have had a strong sense that God uses my moments of loneliness to draw me closer to Him. And really my choice to pursue celibacy is very well suited to me personally in keeping me seeking God.
Thanks again, Dan
You are so welcome, Dan. And thanks for your powerful testimony, and for sharing how God is working in your life.
In Christ,
Steve
I have been a Christian pretty much all of my life but shortly after high school I lost my way. For the past 8 years I lived as a homosexual. And my life was nothing but a constant struggle. Not just for acceptance but financially, emotionally, I fought depression, suicidal thoughts, and many other struggles. A few weeks ago at church someone gave their testimony and I felt conviction about my lifestyle for the first time. I prayed for God to remove anything and anyone that was keeping me from Him. And that was the only thing left. I felt conviction so heavy on my heart. I turned from it and I didn’t look back. I no longer have to desire to live that way. The thoughts are gone. God rid me of my sin. I have been redeemed and I am closer to God than I’ve ever been in my whole life. So for those of you who think homosexuality is a battle that can’t be won, it can. I am living proof. It is a hard battle, but prayer, the Word, and worship kept the devil from tempting me with it when I was weak. Anyone battling it I recommend you listen to nothing but praise and worship. Stay wrapped up in the Word. Post verses around your house. Pray constantly. I started a devotional by Joyce Meyer that really helped me through. Battlefield of the Mind. You control your thoughts.
That is such an encouraging story, Stephanie. Thank you for sharing it with us!
I have been fighting this monster called “same sex attraction” for 15 months. I am 37 years old, married with 2 kids, I have never struggled with same sex attraction nor ever dabbled in any homosexual activity. It all started last October 2012. It felt as if something was dropped into my heart….
During this struggle, by God’s grace, I have not given in to the desires, temptation, or thoughts. But there is this burning lust desire inside of me. It has brought some very difficult times to my life and to those around me. My wife knows of this and has been very supportive although she does not know how to help me other than just praying for me.
This brought me a deep repression that lasted 8 months I am now battling panic attacks, shortness of breath, despair, hopelessness, it is awful!
I have always been a very outgoing, sociable, friendly person who can start a conversation with anyone. Now, I cannot talk to a man without having awful thoughts, shame, fear. My whole view of life has been warped by this, my image, my thoughts, even my relationship with God, my wife, specially my son….I am really hurting!
I have tried so many things, 21 day fasting, demon deliverance session, lots of prayer, I have read tons of books, taking thoughts captive, etc etc etc…..
My faith is probably dead, I feel like a zombie, a prisioner inside a perverse mind/heart, suicidal thoughts come from time to time, I refuse to let them in…..God feels so distant, Christ is the only hope and answer but I don’t have any faith, any hope, any love, I don’t know what to do….
Some people say, “have more faith” – “pray more” – “seek God more” – “just don’t pay attention to those thoughts” “Rebuke it, it is demonic”
Am I really saved? Has God turned me over to my sin? Can I be normal again? Is there hope for me?
Thanks for reading – Your prayers and guidance will be appreciated
JR
Hi JR,
Yes, there is hope for you. Not because your struggle isn’t real and powerful and serious — it is. But because Jesus Christ has broken the power of this sin on the Cross, and promises to give you everything you need to battle and overcome it.
And it will be a battle. It won’t be easy. But he will give you all the grace you need to fight.
You say you don’t have faith, hope, or love. OK. But the good news is, that Jesus Christ will give you all you need.
I love the prayer of the man in Mark 9:24 — “Help my unbelief” — and Jesus did help him.
I would suggest reading the following posts to see if they give you some help (click on the words)–
How To Strengthen Your Faith
How To Fight The Fight Of Faith
How Can I Overcome Temptation?
How Does The Holy Spirit Empower Obedience?
And if you have any other questions — let me know. And I will pray for you right now.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank you Steven. Your words brought a lot of encouragement to my heart. I will meditate on what you said and will read the blog post you suggested.
JR
You are so welcome, JR. May the Lord richly satisfy you in himself this Christmas season.
Steve
i grew up in a christian family. Very active in the whole activities of the church. I believe in the father son and the holy ghost. Today i am 41 years of age and so gay. I pray to God for whatever i need. Its not a mistake that i came across this page. I have my bible and i read it. I have battled with this issue up until i decided to stop.
The message that give me hope