Jan 11, 2013
How To Overcome Sexual Temptation
Good News of Grace
No matter how much you have sinned sexually, how impossible change feels, or how powerfully you are being tempted — there’s good news.
Jesus Christ died and rose again. And so, if you will turn to Him as you are, and trust Him to forgive you, help you, change you, satisfy you — you can know you are completely forgiven, clothed in Christ’s perfect righteousness, and passionately loved by God.
That’s precious beyond words.
But There’s More
God also promises to give you all the grace you need to overcome sexual temptation —
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. (2Cor 9:8)
And He promises that He will only allow you to face temptations that you, empowered by His grace, will be able to overcome —
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1Cor 10:13)
So through Christ, by faith alone, God will give you everything you need to fight sexual temptation.
Yes, Fight!
We don’t just let go and let God. Jesus calls us to fight sexual temptation.
Here’s how He put it in Mark 9:47 —
And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown in to hell.
Not that your eye causes you to sin. A few chapters earlier Jesus said sin comes from the heart (Mark 7:21). So Jesus’ point is not that we fight sin by gouging out eyes. His point is that IF gouging out eyes would overcome sin, it would be well worth it. Which means we must spare no effort to fight sin.
So how do we fight sexual sin?
A Helpful Distinction
Sexual temptation has two parts.
There’s the physical craving for sexual feeling, activity, and fulfillment. And there’s also the emotional longing for sexual excitement, closeness, and pleasure.
God’s grace helps us deal with each of these differently.
The Physical Craving
Take the physical craving for sexual activity. This craving is not in itself sin, and is something God built into our bodies. But unless we are married and in a setting where this can be pursued in a way that serves our spouse, it must be resisted.
How? By relying on God’s promise that He is worth the discomfort, and by understanding that God has made our bodies so that in time the craving will diminish.
It’s like when you are fasting and crave food. This craving is not sinful. But if God has called you to fast, you must resist it by relying on God’s promise that He is worth the discomfort, and by knowing that in time the hunger will be gone.
The Emotional Longing
The emotional longing is different. This is not a longing we have to live with. This is a longing God promises to satisfy completely — in Himself.
I say that because of Psalm 73:25 —
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
God can so satisfy our hearts in Himself that we desire nothing else. All our emotional longings can be satisfied in knowing Him, beholding Him, and worshiping Him.
So What Can You Do When Tempted?
Joy in God comes from faith (Rom 15:13). Obedience comes from faith (Heb 11:8). The Spirit is provided by faith (Gal 3:5).
So what’s most important is not will-power, computer filters, or accountability.
These have their place. But what’s most important is strengthening our faith in Christ.
Here’s what I recommend:
Come to God as you are. Don’t try to change your heart first. Turn and trust Jesus Christ to forgive you, help you, free you, and satisfy you. By faith alone you can immediately be assured that you are forgiven and that God will fulfill all His promises to you (Luke 18:13-14).
Confess any sin that needs confessing. If you desire sex more than you desire Christ, have had lustful thoughts, or don’t believe He can overcome this temptation — confess your unbelief. Ask Him forgive and cleanse you. He will. He promises (1John 1:9).
Pray for the heart-changing work of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit can revive dead hearts (Isa 57:15), soften hard hearts (Eze 36:26), and free enslaved hearts (Rom 6:17). So pray earnestly for God to increase the work of His Spirit in you.
Set your heart on the truth of God’s Word. The word of God is the sword the Spirit uses to slay unbelief and lust (Eph 6:17). So pray over passages describing God’s incomparable glory, Christ’s all-satisfying love, and the Spirit’s heart-changing help, like Exo 33:18-19; Psa 138:5-6; Gal 2:20; 2Cor 8:9; Luke 18:27; 1John 5:4.
Pray over God’s Word until your emotional longing is satisfied in Christ. God promises that who He is in Christ will completely satisfy every emotional longing (see Psa 16:11; John 6:35; John 7:37-38; 1Pet 1:8). So press in with prayer and meditation until the Spirit strengthens your faith and you see and feel Christ as your all-satisfying Treasure.
Let that satisfaction stir you to resist the physical craving. Sometimes God supernaturally takes the physical craving away. But more often He calls us to endure that craving until it lessens. And what motivates us to endure is the taste of Christ’s all-satisfying glory and the promise of gaining more through our endurance (Matt 5:8; John 14:21). So plead with Him for help. See Him as your treasure. Then go for a walk. Run some sprints. Whatever. He is worth it all.
Do all you can to avoid temptation. We can go places, watch TV shows, and read books that increase the physical and emotional desire for sex. So — for the sake of gaining more joy in Christ forever — don’t. Joseph ran from Potiphar’s wife (Gen 39:12). Join him.
Comments? Feedback?
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What Does the Bible Say About Sex Before Marriage?How Far Is Too Far Before Marriage?A Take-No-Prisoners Kind of WarHow God Helps You Overcome Sin
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I can definitely relate to this post. After I broke up with my boyfriend, I was feeling lonely and wanted to feel desirable (I’d also felt lonely when I was with my boyfriend)…so I hooked up with a guy from my past and a new guy I’d met. Before I gave in to my desires, God told me “You need to heal first,” but I didn’t listen. Afterwards, I felt awful and empty. Once I started getting closer to God, I felt more fulfilled and less lonely. I’ve also been praying for Him to remove my desire for sex or at least allow me to focus on something else. I also have to remind myself that sex is just temporary satisfaction; I’m not going to really be ‘fulfilled.’ So far, I’ve been feeling great!
Thanks for sharing your story, cher79. And I’m so glad to hear how God is working in your life.
It’s beautiful that we can be completely forgiven and cleansed through trusting Jesus Christ — and that He will so satisfy us in Himself that we can overcome the far-less satisfying temptations around us.
Keep fighting the fight of faith!
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thanks, I hope this article helps me with my lust problem I’ve been struggling with for about 4 years now.
I needed this. I’m struggling but Lord knows I want different. I slipped up And now I feel so empty and lost. I’ve been doing so good and I slipped, I didn’t resist, I just gave in. I just got baptized 2 weeks ago and here it is I messed up. I feel so bad. Lord please, I’m so sorry
I’ve got baptised 2 weeks ago and im in that position as well but dont forget god test us to see if we’re going to choose him or fall into sin
AWESOME. Going to mangle this sin tonight with the Promises of God.
What a great comment. Made my day to think of you using God’s promises to MANGLE sin. Yes!
I believe confessing your sins is thanking Jesus that your sins have already been forgiven and He is your righteousness. Building the identity of how love and forgiven you are as a Child of God. 🙂
Thanks for your thoughts, Alvin. Isn’t it glorious that Jesus Christ has done everything we need to be completely forgiven? What a Savior!
I have been divorced for 20 years. My ex-husband was in another relationship before the divorce was finalised. When my daughter was 7, I dated the same person for 10 years, but I was not living a truly Christian life then, and it never developed into a lasting commitment.
Last year, I met a younger man who asked me out. I didn’t take it seriously, but agreed to go because I was flattered. After three or four dates over a few weeks, it had become clear that we were mutually attracted. He was a Christian and did not share my views on sexual abstinence, but had been considerate of my wishes not to indulge. He made it clear he didn’t want any emotional entanglements.
Finally I gave in and had a couple of encounters, but I refused to continue due to my feelings that it was all wrong with no possibility of commitment on his part. In addition, I was beginning to fall in love for the first time in over 10 years. I ran into him at a class about 6 weeks after we separated on friendly terms. I had been praying to the Holy Spirit for strength, as I knew I was bound to see him again socially. It was the biggest surprise of my life when he greeted me with a giant bear hug and told me he’d missed me.
Now we are best friends and talk about almost everything. I can discuss Christian principles with him in a more frank and open way than with my friends at church. I am learning from him and he is learning from me. He has been celibate for some time now. He even phones me while away on holidays. When I was stood up recently for a date with someone else on Valentines Day, he turned up at my door with chocolates to make me feel better, even though I was not particularly upset. It was only the 2nd date, so no hurt feelings.
My point is that while I still have feelings for this man, we were both grown up enough in our faith to turn a bad situation into a lasting friendship. I still feel cherished, even though there will never be more than that involved. This has God’s hand all over it and I am so privileged to have survived the test and to realise, with the help of the Holy Spirit, that a good, caring friend is worth more at this point in my life.
Kerry-Anne,
You are one of the rarest blessed people on earth.
My experience is similar, but she was too uptight to stay as a good friend.
I am happy to read your experience and I realized GOD exist and help people.
umang.201078@gmail.com
To have stumbled on this spiritual piece is nothing short of God’s Grace. It speaks to my heart, and challenges me to hold fast unto the Word of God more.
I have been in a struggle with sexually-related temptation (masturbation, pornography, unholy thoughts) for about 12 years now, and hardly anything ever works. Sometimes I go sober for weeks, maybe months, but come right back.
I have read books, and consulted other help materials. I am born-again and understand well the difference between salvation and liberation.
However, this write-up has reiterated a point I had always known, and it is that God is interested and in fact excited about the prospect of seeing me liberated.
Despite having somehow managed by the help of the Holy Spirit to keep from going over the edge, maintain my chastity, I still understand the need for more control over myself. I want to live for God totally.
Please keep me in prayers, as I take hold of self-control, and tap into the liberty that Christ purchased for me on the cross.
Hi Gbolahan,
Thanks for letting me know that you found this post encouraging. I will pray for you right now — that the Father will continue to strengthen your faith to see and feel the incomparable Treasure you have in Christ, so you are empowered to turn from all lesser pleasures.
He is worth it all,
Steve Fuller
iv been saved for almost a year now.this post is quite encouraging. i relate to Gbolahan and i struggle too with lust, masturbation and depression. i am encouraged and i thank God for using Steve fuller to remind us that God is excited at the prospect of setting us free. this is a 2013 post and this just goes to show that Gods power is eternal and so is His Word.
iv been at a terrible cycle of fall,repent fal repent,fall repent fall repent over and over again…iv at many times believed i wont get out of sexual immorality…a lie from our enemy, help us father to believe in you and tocall upon you each and every day through the hard and pleasant times in our lives.
im still in the heat of the struggle..but i hope i shall one day share my testimony with you, before our Holy God thanking Him face to face for saving us and enabling us to walk in victory for His Glory sake in this world and the next.
thank you and God bless.
This is a good write up because i am battling with sexual sin i am tired of going on like this and i know its sin but cant stop it. This write up i believ will help me. Please pray for me. God bless you.
Hi Kenny,
Thanks for letting me know that this encouraged you. I will pray for you right now. And do you have any trusted brothers in Christ who could pray for you? I think you would find that deeply strengthening.
Keep me posted on what God does in your life and heart.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I also feel like I am battling with self control since having indulged in it in the past. I have had gaps of about a month not being in it and it comes back to that very first square. I am tired of saying Sorry to God confessing the same thing over and over, its silly. I do believe one day these temptations will amount to nothing. I do need prayers too.
Hi Sebolelo,
Thanks for taking the time to contribute to these comments.
I would just encourage you to keep fighting the fight of faith, thanking God for the victories, and confessing to him your failures.
Every temptation you face can be conquered by his grace, and every sin you commit can be forgiven by his blood.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank you so much for this post. With a bit of Humour but a powerful message. God bless.
I’m so glad you found this helpful, Candy. And thank you for letting me know.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
This is going to help me so much! I keep going back to this temptation but now I see a ray of sunshine thanks to you!! Thank you so much!
You are so welcome.
Please pray that I will over come this sin!!! I need all the help I can get!
I’ll pray right now — and be encouraged by Heb 4:14-16.
have faith in lord my dear he will surely help u out nd be with u forever
Its been about 8 months since I got saved and there has been a lot of progression. I was able to overcome a lot of things but I’m still weak to sexual temptations,I really hope this write-up will help me.Please pray for me guys.
I’ll pray for you right now, David.
Hi David, hope everything is well with you. I am also dealing with the same temptation. Just curious to know if you have any advice for me.
Thanks
This seriously saved my life
I am so encouraged to hear that. Thank you for letting me know.
This message was right on time. I was molested as a child so I have always had sexuality as a major struggle in my life. I’m at the point now that I want more of God and less of myself. God has anointed me to do His works and I refuse to be an unclean vessel. I pray for the writer of this post and for each person who was brave enough to comment. May God bless us all. Amen
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your story with us. May God so satisfy you in Christ that you can overcome all temptations and walk in purity, for your good and for the glory of His name.
I have struggled with masturbation most of my life and I am in my 50’s. Even after being saved I still struggled. I still do. I can’t seem to stop and I know that part of me loves this sin more than God. And my sin is not a mistake, I mean it. I feel like I have gone too long and too far to ever be restored and forgiven. But having read this I know that I need to “know” the grace that I already have and the complete and unconditional love that God has for me right now. In fact I know that He loved me while I was yet a sinner at least that what His word says. Until reading this here I would become very distraught at just having sexual feelings without any acting out. This is the first place that actually gives me hope that there is victory no matter how long the battle. I am forgiven and have been set free from the law of sin and death by the law of Life in Christ. My head knows this but my heart doesn’t please pray with me that this victory in Christ would set me free. Thank you and God bless you.
Hi Jons,
I am overjoyed that this post has given you hope in Christ. Thank you for letting me know.
And I love that you are encouraged that there is victory no matter how long the battle. Beautiful.
I will pray for you right now — that you can “know” the grace you already have. And I would encourage you to find a trusted, humble brother in your church who can pray with and for you.
And please keep me posted on what God does in and for you.
In Christ,
Steve
I just read this post of yours jons and I am grateful for your sharing. Can you believe it, it’s a year and some months later also!
I am a college student at a christian university and I’ve dealt with masturbation since I was 12 and always wondered if God viewed it as sin. I guess it took me till now to realize that the temptation in my mind was the sinful part and that I should make the effort to abstain from it. I am in my 20’s and I’m sure we both will have the same difficulty with this battle. Good luck to both of us. God bless us all in our endeavor to overcome sinful temptations.
I’m so happy I came across this article, because I seem to fall into the trap of looking at pornography and masturbating in my mind and in my heart I know it’s wrong but my flesh craves it and afterwards I am left feeling so bad please pray for me that I can overcome this urge and live the victorious life Jesus died for me to live.
when i was about eight years old we had several house maid that help out with the domestic work and i was my dad favorite, so for any of the female maids to get a some special treatment they go through me. some by buying gifts why some approach me with sex. i thought i was having fun but now am sex addict to cut story short i need God in my life seriously.
i need serious help ASAP
Hi all,
I am Umang dave. (35, married)I am not a christian but I can relate to this post and admit this is true.
Things like lust and hunger are common to people of
all religions.
I got many great insights and solutions from such
blogs.
Keep the ghost busy.
umang.201078@gmail.com
Hi Umang,
Thank you for letting me know that this was helpful for you.
I would also encourage you to consider this: they key to overcoming temptation is to have our hearts be fully satisfied in the glory and majesty and love of God.
But since we have all sinned against him, and he is perfectly just, we can’t know his love. We face only his justice. We face being punished in hell forever.
Even if you lived perfectly the rest of your life, you would still be guilty for your past sins. So based on our own goodness, there’s no hope.
That’s why it’s such good news that God sent his Son Jesus to earth. Jesus is the image of the invisible God. In Jesus we can see God at work in history. We have evidence that God is loving, holy, good, merciful, all-powerful, and just.
Jesus’ miracles show that he is God. And he said that if we will trust him, and receive him into our lives as our Savior, and Lord, and Treasure — his death on the Cross will forgive all our sins — past, present, and future.
And then — as forgiven people — we can have our hearts be fully satisfied in God’s glory and majesty and love. And that will enable us to overcome temptation.
So you need Jesus Christ, Umang. Please study more about him, read the Gospels, ask me any more questions you have — and trust Christ.
Sincerely,
Steve Fuller
Thank you Steve Fuller. you helped guide me back to God’s battle lines. Good t know I’m not fighting alone. I’ll probably get to thank you in heaven. We do have forever. I sure hope I’m saved. Otherwise I’d be following God without belonging to Him. Can you describe what being saved actually means? I’ll check back on this later, There’s fightin that needs to be done tonight.
Stay Frosty.
I am married and work with adults. One of my adult men was very flattering. More gentlemen than most. I knew I needed to put a stop to his flattery because I liked it. I still have to work with him. So I scolded him to get him to stop.
Good for you!
I feel that am now relieved from this mentality of sexual sin that led me to masturbation and this has helped me to come back to myself; I die with Christ to live a peaceful, joyous life.
That’s encouraging, brother. Keep fighting the fight of faith, and turning back to the cross as often as you need to.
He is faithful, faithful, faithful, always faithful.
please help me overcome mursturbation and ponograpy before it is too late.
Check this video out man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG723F0PWrQ&feature=kp. I think you’ll be able to appreciate the lyrics even if you don’t like rap. This fight against pornography is not easy by any means. But I’ve been a Christian now for over 6 months and it doesn’t get easier, Christ just strengthens his spirit within you to tackle your demons. What we must remember is that our works and our willpower mean nothing, if anything is to be achieved, it must be through the power of Christ, otherwise our victory doesn’t glorify him, it glorifies us.
According to Proverbs 16:6, the way to depart from evil is by the fear of the Lord. You NEED the fear of the Lord. Otherwise, you will NOT depart from evil. Don’t just focus on the parts of the Bible that make you feel good. Focus also on the reward for wickedness. Embrace the reality of hell and use the WHOLE TRUTH to stregthen you in the hour of temptation. For in the Lake of Fire, they rest not neither day nor night. They are always in torments unceasingly. Woe to them who are offended by warnings of the wrath to come. Happy are they who repent at the hearing of the same. For the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. We NEED the fear of the Lord lest we perish.
my name is david and am from africa in uganda i have had many problem with sexual urge at first i didnt recognise the impact it had on my relationship with god but now am fighting it and am avoiding clbs and friends with bad influence and focusing more on the holy spirit thanks for your word its really helping me in my fight
I am really glad that I came across this website. Trying to figure out how to decrease libido, how to not be sexual excited, how to get rid of sexual desire. I knew Christ was my answer, but didn’t know how to ask God for help. This message has really made it more clear. I am going to book mark this page and use it often. I am only two years old, in the faith, so please pray for me to be able to turn away from sexual temptation and to be able to more deeply trust and faith in God. Thank you.
This helped me tremendously! Thank you for ministering to us. Please continue to share as God lays it on your heart to do so.
I love this! I actually laughed at the part where you said take a walk,run. I’ve had to do those things lol I really laughed when you mentioned Joseph and when you said to”Join him.”. Haha sometimes you just gotta laugh. I learned a lot from this today. I will be incorporating the things that you’ve mentioned. Thanks abundantly!
You are so welcome! Thank you for letting me know.
Sexual temptation is probably the biggest problem in my life right now. I have been into it for about 2 years now, and it has put a serious beating on my mental and spiritual being. i have been praying to god so much about it that i barely do it at all.
But today I want to change that so I can stop feeling guilty and depressed and forgotten. I know that god IS there for me and that I can do all things through him.
God bless all of your changing your lifes, and he is waiting for us in heaven.
Thank you. This was a well thought out and easy to follow step-by-step guide to some fundamental ways to overcome this sin. I appreciate it.
Thanks so much for your contribution, it raelly helped me somuch.. I Love u all cheers
Me and my boyfriend are both really struggling with sexual sin. We both love and believe in God and grew up learning of Him, but we both give in, and then become extremely depressed and discouraged and feel hopeless. I feel like we can’t find anyone to talk to because my boyfriend is the son of the pastor to our church, so we feel enourmous pressure and fear. Especially my boyfriend. We never started our relationship out impure whatsoever. We were always strict and held back happily and lovingly. But somehow we ended up here.
We love eachother like best friends and tell eachother almost everything, including our prayers, but we have become almost poisonous to eachother whenever we are alone now.
I just searched online for some helpful advice and found this blog.
Reading this gives me hope and trust in God. Thank you so much. I feel like if we both can’t fight maybe it only takes 1. I’ve struggled with reading Gods word and praying consistently all my life. Consistency is another struggle I have. Please pray I can gain consistency to pray and fast and meditate on God, to save my relationship with Christ as well as my boyfriends relationship with Christ. And to purify our love for eachother by putting God first. Please pray anyone who reads this. Thank you.
I was practising this for many years. In the beginning i came onto a spiritual path and i was somehow shocked that this was required. But since i earnestly looked for such a path i gave up all sexual activity and also tried to controll all thoughts and longings. Spiritual aspirants of the highest order say that sex destroys your spiritual capacity, it destroys all the spiritual energy u have stored, your connection to God looses strength. So in the beginning is the understanding and true feeling of the harm of sexual activity whatsoever without pressuring urself. But what is it that makes us clear about the effect sex has? How can we prove it for ourselves and convince ourselves? I personally do not feel that is would be so difficult to give up sexual activity completly. I just need for myself mor conviction found in myself, i need a proof for myself. Everybody is convinced that robbery or murder is bad and our conscious immediately tells us it brings us harm. So why is it so different when it comes to sex? Is it such a strong, subtle deecption of our true nature? We all want to find our true nature, what hinders us?
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Sexual sins like every other sin can only be defeated through the power of the Holy Spirit. These words are a reminder for me to humble myself before my Father and plea for His help for only He can give me grace to overcome.
Before opening up to this blog, I would like to ask for the forgiveness of the audience which is mostly made up of my brethren in the faith. I ask that you forgive me because being a son of God, I should be light and salt of this world and a worthy testimony of Christ, yet I find myself being the opposite sometimes as you will soon find out.
I am a 26 year old man, spiritual citizen of the Celestial City, but Mexican in nature. I am married to a wonderful wife and have a son who is two years old. I started masturbating at the age of 6 (only God knows how that can be possible), at around 13 years of age I was born of the Spirit, by faith alone in Christ alone. Masturbation did not stop by then. At the age of 15 maybe, I had my first encounter with pornography (it was an accident while surfing the net and I have cursed that day ever since). There came a period in my adolescence where I would recur to pornography almost everyday and this would severly damage my spiritual life to the point where I even began doubting my own salvation. By work of the Spirit I would still be called to repentance and I would confess my sin to God with tears in my eyes, but I noticed that as years passed by I started becoming hard-hearted on sexual lust. Not long after becoming addicted to porn I started becoming interested with nudism (naturism) as I searched the internet without limits. I started to nourish a desire inside of me to uncover my body in presence of others. Years passed and I never noticed when I started showing off my genitals to women on the streets. I have managed to walk around fully naked in front of women around 4 times in my life. Only God knows the love that He has for me that so far I have not been caught by authorities in the act or been publicly exposed, and I also pray humbly that He never allows it. The guilt after my sin is big enough to have to bear.
All of this, I type with shame, sadness and regret. I have never told this to anyone, maybe a lost person could, but I can’t. I just wish with all my heart that God would do this great thing and set me free. I truly believe that in the cross of our Saviour is not only forgiveness, but freedom from every bondage of sin. The blood of Christ has been sprinkled over me and every drop cries that God keep His covenant of grace with me.
A few months ago I started meditating on the wicked evolution of my lust and became overwhelmed. Sin will not stop until it destroys us completelly. I had the fearful thought that I would do something more wicked if this behaviour didnt stop. Please pray that God does not allow this.
About a month ago, I was disciplined by our Father because of my sexual sins. I spent about 1 week and a half trying to seek God’s face with no response from Him. My prayer would not cross the ceiling of my room. I became so desperate that I had to confess my sin partially to an elder at my local church. (I say partially because I only told him about having watched porn) After that, God showed me his never ending mercy once again. I cried with my brother while I confessed and I could feel the Spirit restoring me.
After this disciplining from God, I understood that God’s children cannot be playing around with sin. I have tried harder and have really fought in order to kill this sin in my life. Dear brethern, sometimes the weight of temptation is so cruel that I feel as if the complete powers of Hell fell upon me. I cry to God for mercy.
Please help me to pray. If you feel any compassion for me, an unknown brother in the faith, please join me, that our God may grant me freedom. I am the smallest and weekest of all God’s children.
God bless you.
I’m currently feeling this, the feeling comes i pray or try to pray and i wont give in for the first couple of times but then there will be a day when the feeling is intense and then i try and pray but it doesnt go away and then i feel helpless and give in. i really want it to stop though i dont want to hurt God. Please pray for me would mean alot
Hi All, I am so tired of disappointing God with my sexual sin … I really need all the help in the world … could you please pray for me to be an overcomer once and for all!
Thanks, I really needed an answer to how to deal with these sexual urges I been having lately. And I have already messed up twice and I don’t want it to be a third time because I do have a strong love for Christ and don’t want to make him unhappy because I can’t control myself. I really was beginning to think that this is just to strong to deal with.
I am tired of thinkin about sex.l have never done it but the feelings are so intense.please pray for me.lm tryng too.
I too have been dealing with sexual temptations but thank god for this encouraging site. I have to been even more encouraged to coninue to fight and hold fast to the promises and grace of god.
Hi I just need a help..can you please.pray for me to overcome this problem of pornography, lust and temptation…i am a believer in jesus christ…please pray for me..as I can’t say anyone in my church..
I’ve been having a lot of trouble with pornography for the past 3 years since I was 14, and I am a believer in Jesus Christ but I just wasn’t getting involved and making an effort on learning more about him and growing in him. I’ve been in a relationship with a girl for 8 months now and I have sexually sinned and I’m just now getting in trouble for it I know that it is wrong but my temptation and self control got the best of me and I’ve been praying and I would really like and need your prayers to finally be clean and I started with Christ to forgive me
I’ll pray for you right now, Trenton.
And keep fighting the fight of faith by praying over God’s promises until you see and feel Christ as your all-satisfying Treasure.
We can only say NO to sin’s pleasures if we are saying YES to even greater pleasures — the pleasures of knowing and worshiping Christ.
Also, do all you can to be part of a church where some godly men can pray with and for you.
Onward!
Steve Fuller
pls i need prayers
I am back to Christ after a long struggle with sex temptation.. Pray for me coz I don’t wanna look back
Im a married woman that is very lonely. Despite both of us being Christian, we are not equally yoked and not happy. My husband is robotic. Emotionally void, inflexible, unwilling to share duties, chores, money, time… It’s been this way all along. We are basically roommates. We used to be intimate but we havent had that in years. We have been to counseling and the church. Nothing helps when both people dont really want it. After 7 years of dating and 16 years of marriage, i am ok with letting go. I needed a husband that wanted to share his life with me. I dont feel he wants that.
The challenge for me is, as a married woman, i should be able to have emotional and physical sexual freedom, but, because of my husband i am trapped.
I feel that if i am forced to live like a single christian. I need to be a single christian. Because having thoughts and desires of a married woman leaves me in a sinful position. I find myself dreaming a lot and not wanting it to end. Thinking about other men, generically kind men that show me the slightest attention. I even look for sites to look at or talk to people now.
My feelings are so deep, and i am so empty of love. I dont want this to pull me further away from God.
Thank you for opening your heart to us.
I am so sorry for the pain you have in your marriage. It sounds heartbreaking.
At the same time, I would strongly urge you that God can and will meet you in your pain.
Through Jesus, He can so comfort and satisfy your heart in himself that you say, with the psalmist, that there is nothing on earth that you desire besides God (Psalm 37:25-26).
While emotional and sexual joy in marriage is a gift from God, it will not satisfy you. Only Jesus Christ can satisfy you (John 6:35).
So don’t forsake Jesus, your all-satisfying Treasure, for fantasies and dreams and relationships that won’t satisfy.
Are you part of a loving, Bible-teaching and Jesus-centered church? It would be so helpful to have some wise, mature, godly women praying with and for you about this.
In Christ
Steve Fuller
My name is Liz and I live in Los Angeles Calif. I have a very similar situation. Please message me and lets help each other through these tough times.
I’m 86 and single since my wife of 63 years of marriage passed away. We both are born again. Still I find it so hard to To stop masterbation. Pray for my Holy Spirit to help me.
i have been married for 25 years.
i love my wife and still find her attractive.
but my wife is ill, and for the past several years her desire for sex and intimacy has been going down hill.
we’re at the point that she does not want to have sex or be intimate with me or even kiss or anything like that.
we are basically just passing time as “friends” through life as the kids grow and we grow apart.
i sense my desire for her dwindling because she does not want my hands on her.
i know alot has to do with her illness.
but it is causing us to drift apart.
i will not divorse or go seek another woman because God does not want that, but i find myself having a difficult time resisting sexual thoughts and temptations to masterbate and watch porn.
i have asked God to take away my sexual desires and at least make me like my wife, put me on her level but that aint happening.
i see other couples showing love and pda, and i find myself longing for that too.
i had it once with my wife, but no more.
i know God can do any miracle He wants, but i dont know if its in the cards for us.
please pray that i can resist temptations for self gratification.
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been struggling with sexual addiction since before I knew what sex was. I’m 22 now, and honestly think that sex is the last BIG thing holding me back from a deep relationship with God. I’ve been going to confession at least twice a month the past few months, and after each confession I feel much, much more tempted almost immediately after, until I give in to temptation. I’ve been feeling more and more discouraged, thinking that I am simply too sinful to ever get over this addiction. But this post has really given me hope. New tools and understanding. I know I have a tumultuous journey ahead of me, however, I trust that God will give me all of the graces I need to overcome this. Thank you again, I’ll be visiting this post quite often for a while.
Hello,
My husband is a workaholic robot who used to be physically and still emotionally abusive. I couldn’t have physical relationship with him after realizing it isn’t normal to be hit, kicked and punched. I felt very cheap and degrading whenever he touched me. So I found out that he’s been having affairs and when confronted he told me I haven’t been doing my wifely duties. Also, I struggle with sexual thoughts – like just to feel something – like an affirmation like I’m really a woman (he wasn’t very keen even when we were newly married) Even though I realize his treatment or his ignoring me doesn’t define me, my thoughts turn sexual when I feel lonely! I’m trying so hard and I pray about it too. But its so difficult and sometimes after long stretches I fall back to the same sin and feel miserable about it. Please pray for me!
Dear confused reach out to a domestic violence shelter. Emotional and verbal abuse are just as bad if not worse than physical. Please I urge you. B
When I was in high school my first relationship was with another female. I had never been and still am not typically attracted to or drawn to women, but I loved her and enjoyed our intimacy. I feel so guilty for it now, and it’s been over 10 years. I’ve been with men as well and have enjoyed intimacy In those relationships but I cannot seem to forgive myself and truly open my heart to Christ because I’m ashamed and don’t feel I deserve it, and am not sure if I am truly sorry because sometimes I still re play it in my head. I’m Ashamed that sometimes I still think about it and how much I enjoyed it. But I long for a good husband someday and am afraid I will never overcome these feelings or be able to let go of the past and move forward, feeling clean and renewed. Please pray for me.
Thanks for the post! It is very deep yet practical and helpful for relationships.
I might never meet anyone here, I dont have anyone to pray with where im from , i discovered sex during the ages of four through the influence of friends and encounters of first sex tape. im still a virgin. im 29. just recently i tried going 2 months without pornography or the thought of. whatever my story is please pray for me, its been so hard to find rest with a clear mind.
I was reading the replies of the readers of your post Its wonderful to see how tremendously your posts are working in young lives
We certainly need to pray very consistently for all these young people of God they seem to be hopeless in their lives
God bless you brother keep on doing what you have been doing
Is the anything like beyond redemption? I an scared. I open up about my problems and I get dismissed. I have a feeling people think its fiction but its not. I am that rotten. I need help. Nowadays find the idea of suicide creeping up in my mind. I am rotten and ashamed of myself. Please help.
You are definitely not beyond redemption. I would encourage you to talk with leaders at your church and ask them to pray with and for you. Jesus’ love and power and forgiveness will redeem anyone who turns to him in humble faith.
Hi Steve, thank you for this. So I’m definitely experiencing this temptation- especially being at this age of 20 years old. I’m desired and It’s apparent in the eyes… But Its kist so hard to resist the temptation. Since my generation is into the “causal dating” scene. Overall, hookups lead to more loneliness and problems- I get it, but late since at night I seem to forget. Please lray for all of us. We all need healing. Ugh sexual temptation:/ Anyway, thank you for this Steve! I’m trying to go straight to God when I feel that temptation trying to overwhelm me and make me give into very attractive men.
You are so welcome, and am definitely praying.
Are you part of a church with some godly, Jesus-loving women who can pray with and for you? That would be really helpful.
I seriously need prayers too. I can’t stop the though of having sex though I really hadn’t tried it that’s why I kept on masturbating. I ask forgiveness but sometimes I think its nothing so I go feeling no guilt. But I was wrong. The holy spirit is maybe not working on me anymore. I need prayers. Please. I’m struggling.
I would encourage you to talk to some godly men at your church, and ask them to pray with and for you.
God can powerfully work through the prayers of other brothers — and keep praying and fighting the fight of faith yourself.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
i do masturbation , 3 times in week
i was pray, ask to the god and please help me for this temptation, i can’t take it anymore.. i feel god never see me or control myself when i do masturbation.i don’t know how to overcome this.. when i try to fight this feeling/masturbation i can’t hold this dirty feeling it’s like i lost my faith,my soul and everything.
i hope god still love me
i just share with my problem.
I m also facing this problem and unable to overcome
Thank you for this article, it has blessed my life. I’m a 22 yr old male. I entered into a Christian relationship about 7 months ago and allowed lust to suffocate my relationship with God and with my girlfriend. We gave into sex a few times, battled a bad cycle of temptation, sin and repentance. But the constant guilt hindered our relationship with God. We’re broken up now as a result, but I’ve still been battling lust and losing. Two main points that helped me in this article was realizing that sexual desire is natural, but abstaining from it is like fasting in obedience to God. Second, my relationship with Jesus has to satisfy me more than anything in this world.
I’ve been feeling hopeless in this cycle, feeling God must be getting frustrated with me stumbling so much. But after spending much needed time with Him today and reading this article I’m ready to go back to my first Love, where I left Him. Praying for all on this thread, fight the good fight, be strong and courageous. Love AL
This is so encouraging — thank you for letting me know.
I am 25 years old single boy. I m a student. I want to share this all of u because i need ur prayers to overcome with this bad habit. I have a lot of girlfrds but i do not make physical relation with them but i do this in my heart and today i realise when i lost a girl who loves me. Because i m not trusting her fully. Now i want to overcome this. Because i thing and do wrong activity about the many girls. Plz pray for me that i overcome from this sinful life.
Firstly, there is nothing we can do to stop our father from loving us
Secondly, fight from victory.
Don’t fight as one trying to overcome sexual sins, fight as one maintaining his/her victory over sexual sin
God bless
This is my first time ever reading this blog and I must say I find it very helpful. I’m 18 and am in a serious relationship with my best friend, we’ve never been intimate before. He recently asked me if we could take our relationship to the “next step”. I have been hesitant though as I know that it is wrong. After reading this blog I have however decided that I will not engage in any sexual activities with him whatsoever. Thanks a lot guys, you’ve really opened my eyes and made me realise that the Lord is worth the discomfort after all as it’ll all be worth it in the end.
Cecd
Dear Steve, pls pray for me. I stumbled on your article today but at the moment, I am struggling with sexual temptation, I am about to meet this woman in about 8 hours time. I am married and am a Christisn for many years and know this is very wrong. I struggled to overcome this sin for many years and is totally helpless. I desperately need your prayers right now, I need a supernatural intervention by God to do something in me that will totally remove this desire for sex outside marriage. Please help !
I am sorry I wasn’t able to read this sooner. Let me know how you are doing, and I will be glad to pray for you.
i have kissed my boyfreind and i dont want to commit it again can u please pray for me am very badly disappointed with this sin ……i want to be in prayers always
Thanks for this great article.
I have been struggling with sex desire for 4 years but 2 years ago, I met Jesus as my Lord. I have tried to get rid of this kind of sin, but failed some times. I pray for myself, hope God could strengthen my faith, and help me get out of this bad circle: sined and prayed for forgiveness and sined and prayed for forgiveness. Every time, when something attractive come into my brain or my eyes, I feel frustrated and can’t help doing something I know is wrong. As Paul wrote in Rom 7:19: ” For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.’ , my circumstance is just like his. Now, I realized that I should walk by the spirit so that I may not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Hope you pray for me!
Best regards!
I am so glad this was encouraging to you, Jonathan, and I will pray for you right now.
I need to share my story because it may help someone. I was listening to a minister who said that the Holy Spirit will come and go from our lives. I wasn’t convinced of this. I had the Holy Spirit. I don’t think He operates like that. But when I fell to the temptation of masterbating, which I had overcome 5 years ago, I just felt like God wasn’t listening and wasn’t trying to help. I even read this post with a “whatever” attitude. I was so stressed, depressed, lonely that I felt I either needed to die or get relief. If God could let me get to this point he wasn’t going to help so I needed to help mysef. Of course afterward you feel remorse, ask for forgiveness, and hope you won’t do it again. But I just resolved that I am human, I’ll sin again. I was even contemplating. But then the minister’s words came back to me. And I realized the Holy Spirit didn’t help me because He was no longer with me. See I had gone about the evening complaining, bemoaning my life’s curcumstances, instead of being thankful. I was a rotten spoiled kid. The Holy Spirit had parted. Paul said that he had learned to be content in any state he found himself (Phil 4:11). And as a result (Phil 4:13) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So this shows we will be able to do nothing without Him. Definitely not overcome temptation. When I asked the Holy Spirit to return, my urge and desire to masterbate left. Please know that if we are behaving in an unpleasant manner toward God, if we grieve His spirit, He will leave. Then we’re left to our own strength. Now I forget what has gone before, and continue to press on…only with the Holy Spirit.
Hannah thank you for sharing your struggle. I want to respond to your post because there are some things that you have said that are not backed up by scripture. Understanding who we are and what we have in Christ will give us the ultimate victory in Him to overcome our struggles.
You said that a minister preached to you and said that the Holy Spirit comes and goes from our lives. This is not true. The Holy Spirit NEVER leaves us. Refer to Ephesians 1:13 “In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit…”
So when you heard the truth…the truth of Jesus Christ and you believed in Him…at that very exact moment Hannah you were SEALED with the Holy Spirit. Because of this Holy Spirit we have power…refer to Ephesians 1:17-21
“17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.”
Focus on verse 19 “…immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe…”
The power of God in us through the Son of God, Jesus Christ is far more abundant beyond all that we can ask or think Ephesians 3:20.
This power never left you Hannah. The Holy Spirit never left you.
This is what we have to understand…
Refer to Galatians 5:17 “17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”
By nature we are children of wrath Eph 2:3. So we have to understand what our sinful nature does…what it craves.
Our sinful nature craves the things of the flesh and we no matter what the circumstances are we are always going to lean toward the flesh…we are going to lean toward sin. It is our nature.
BUT WAIT! WE HAVE HOPE 😀 !!!
Keep reading Galatians 5:18 “But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”
We have to make the choice to be led by the Holy Spirit…can we grieve the Spirit? Absolutely we can!
How do we grieve the Spirit? by ignoring the leading or not listening weather intentional or not. The Spirit, my friend, never leaves us. We leave the guidance of the Spirit because of our natural propensity to follow flesh and sin.
I am so proud of you that you were able to find the guidnece of teh Holy Spirit to overcome your addiction. Now continue to walk in the TRUTH of Christ so that we don’t have to fall again. Remember who has you!
Psalm 37:25 “Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand.”
Walk in truth my friend! Know your enemy and know your Savior! You will have victories in Him all your life!
Grace and peace to you in the name of Jesus Christ!
i’m chrsitian single female in 30s. For the past 10 years, I have only had 2 relationships. Both last 3-4 months only. . I hadnt done anything ( not even holding hands/kissing) outside my relationships before I started dating few months ago.
Coupling worth the fact that I am in a career break, the temptation became uncontrollable. As I am getting closer to God and reminded to follow his principle, still gave in and couldn’t imagine how I can wait after marriage. I also don’t want to marry to someone so I can have sex with him with gods blessings.
Since my other christian sisters don’t seem to share the same struggle, I appreciate this article and sharing from those who struggle in this area. I still don’t understand buy will pray against ‘disbelief’ that I can do it.
Thanks for the scripture based help in relation to sexual temptaion, In a generation where we are bombarded by sex everywhere, this is excellent Christ based infor for overcoming sexual sin. May the Lord use it to free all those who are under this temptation in Jesus’ name Amen
Thank you for this, i just slipped up, looking at sex scenes/ love making scenes because im lonely. I’ve been so deep into god’s word, more and more, and all it takes, is one slip up, to mess up. Please pray for me, to wait into marriage and not go backwardm but forward. Lord, you know my heart, forgive me, don’t take your spirit away.
It was such a blessing to me.I appreciate this article a lot particulrly the way to deal with emotionl longing and physical craving.God bless you!!!please pray for me as I pursue to live in absolute purity till I get married.I am from Cameroon.
lots of helpful insight on subject .with the on line porn as easy as a click away obviously more and more people find it to easy to give in too sexual temptation/ sin ,,, i dont watch the hard core material / garbage but i have before .. but it doesnt have to be hard core to be tempting … cartoons on primetime tv have all sorts of sexual overtones which seems harmless but gets your mind wandering towards sexual temptation .. along with other seemingly harmless comedy shows etc etc etc .. i guess my point is garbage in garbage out so try to eliminate that as much as possible .. im trying to watch more christian based programmming and they have good material like the stranger series … christian films etc… but i still like cartoons of which some r decent . some arent.. and i myself will try to practice what i preach…… (And i dont always) i enjoy theses trashy cartooons thats sad actually.. as a christian you know whats decent and whats not..what you allow in the mind.. heart.. soul .. be it visual or whatever.. plants a seed without you realizing it at times… so work on planting good seeds ..thanks for all the posts and helpful insight on subject .. remember were gonna get discouraged at times. at least i get very discouraged .. like a neat scripture says lean not on your own understanding and dont give up on god .. Merry christmas to all of you … thanks to all for sharing
I really feel new and fresh.thank u Lord for sending these words of encouragement to me
actually am grateful .thanks to this aticle its been like a disease for me .thank u for curing me