Apr 17, 2012
The Bible and Jealousy: How to Fight the Fight of Faith
To my shame, I sometimes feel jealous toward pastors who are more well-known than me.
This is serious, because Paul says those who practice jealousy “will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal 5:20-21).
So what’s behind my jealousy?
Jealousy is the pain that arises when someone has something you don’t have, which you think you need to be fully satisfied.
So if I am jealous of someone’s lakefront house, it’s because I believe I need a lakefront house to be fully satisfied.
Or if I am jealous of someone’s athletic ability, it’s because I believe I need more athletic ability to be fully satisfied.
Or (this is my problem) if I am jealous of someone’s fame, it’s because I believe I need more fame to be fully satisfied.
So when I’m jealous, the problem lies in my faith — I’m not trusting Jesus’ promise that He Himself will fully satisfy me (John 6:35). And I am trusting that something else will satisfy me more than Jesus.
The fight of faith
So how can I fight the fight of faith to overcome jealousy?
Here’s steps I find helpful.
Set your faith back on Jesus Christ. Even with your jealous feelings. Even with your weak faith.
You don’t need to overcome your jealousy first. You can’t. Come to Jesus just as you are, and trust Him to forgive you, change you, deliver you. He will. Every time.
See what’s going on in your heart. Identify the focus of your jealousy — what is it you think you need to be happy? Friends? Good looks? Getting pregnant? Money? Be specific.
In my case — it’s fame.
So what is the problem? It’s not that I have too little fame. It’s that I have turned from trusting Jesus to satisfy me, and I am trusting fame to satisfy me.
When you and I are jealous we are like a thirsty person who turns from an overflowing fountain of cold, clear, refreshing water — to make our own water jars that end up bone-dry and broken (Jer 2:13).
Why do we do this? The root cause is our own sin. So –
Confess this as sin. Understand that you are trusting fame (or whatever) more than Christ. Which means you are not trusting Jesus’ promise that He will satisfy your heart-thirst in Himself (John 6:35).
This greatly dishonors Christ — because He is the all-satisfying Treasure of the universe, and because His every promise is trustworthy. So ask God to help you see and feel how wrong this is — and confess it to Him. Ask Him forgive you and cleanse you.
By faith alone in Christ alone you can be assured that you are completely forgiven, clothed with Jesus perfect moral goodness, and passionately loved by God — who rejoices to do you good with all His heart and soul (Jer 32:41).
Pray earnestly for the work of the Spirit. By yourself you can’t change your heart. You need a supernatural work of the Spirit.
So humble yourself before God, admit that you need His undeserved mercy, and plead with God to enlighten the eyes of your heart so you see and feel that Jesus is infinitely more satisfying than whatever it is you are jealous for (Eph 1:17-18).
Prayerfully set your heart on Jesus. Look at verses describing Jesus’ mercy, goodness, justice, and power — like Luke 7:13; Gal 2:20; Rev 1:5; Rev 5:9. Look at promises of how Christ will completely satisfy your heart — like Matt 11:28-29; John 6:35; John 7:37-39; 1Cor 12:13.
Earnestly meditate on God’s Word until the Spirit destroys your unbelief, renews your faith in Christ, and you feel once again that Jesus Christ — not fame or money or friends — is all you need to be satisfied now and forever.
This may not happen quickly. For me it often happens slowly. But even this is God’s goodness towards us — as the slower times humble us, deepen our longings, and make the deliverance all the sweeter when it comes.
So be patient, and keep praying earnestly over God’s Word until you experience God’s Spirit changing your heart. Be encouraged by Scriptures like Psa 13:3; Psa 42:1-2; Psa 63:1.
Two preventative steps
There are also two other steps which can keep jealousy from returning.
First, lift up to God the desires of your heart.
Let’s say you long to get pregnant, and you are jealous that someone else is pregnant. You have fought the fight of faith, you are again trusting Jesus as your all-satisfying Treasure, and you are free from jealousy.
But even though you are satisfied in Christ, you still long to get pregnant.
So lift up your longing to the Father. Pray and ask God to enable you to get pregnant. Pour out your soul before Him. Feel free to weep before Him — as Hannah did (1Sam 1:10). Be honest with Him about your desires.
Lifting your desires to the Father will help you be content so you are strong against jealousy.
Second, trust that God withholds nothing good from you.
God promises that whatever He gives you is tailor-made to bring you the most joy in Christ. That’s true about fame, promotions, friends — everything. That’s the point of Psa 34:10 and Psa 84:11.
So whether God does or does not give me fame — whatever He chooses will bring me the most joy in Christ.
Trusting that God withholds nothing good from me will help me squash jealousy when it tempts me.
How about you?
How have you fought jealousy? What happens when you try the above steps? I’d love to hear — leave a reply below. Thanks.
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And here are some related posts —
- This Morning’s Battle With Jealousy.
- William Gurnall on Fighting Sin.
- I Always Only Have One Problem.
- How Faith in Christ Changes Us.
(Picture used by permission of sarah835 at flickr.com.)
Thank you for the steps to overcome jealousy and envy. For some reason, I want everybody to like ME, include ME, ask ME. I think I try to hard to be everyone’s friend…but I honestly don’t want to be the center of attention. I think my problem stems from hurt with girls who left me out of everything when I was a child. I can not stand this feeling and I must be delivered.
I want ONLY GOD to get Glory …not me.
I want to win people to HIM, not to me. But for some stupid reason I can’t overcome, I think they have to see things MY WAY. I NEED HELP THROUGH PRAYER.
I KNOW JESUS IS MY ANSWER but this is a besetting sin that I have yet to get victory over. Pray for me.
Good to meet you, G.K. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your heart.
I will stop and pray right now — that the Father will so fill your heart with the joy of Christ that you don’t need recognition from others. That’s what helps me — and I fight jealousy almost every day.
Also, you might want to check out the post “It’s Dangerous Being a Pastor” which deals with the same topic — especially the idea of the expulsive power of a new affection.
And again, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Steve
Thank you, this was very helpful. I really don’t feel like I’ve struggled with jealousy much, but I have lately and it’s terrible and I feel awful about it, yet I’ve finding it hard to control. This was very helpful! Thank you! God bless! I will pray for you right now.
Thank you and praise God. I learned many things now I have changed and I know how to maintain my faith. This was very encouraging. When you go away from God this happens. I will try my best not to be jealous, to love one another and show my Christian spirit.
Hi Kalyani,
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I am so glad you found this encouraging, and I appreciate you letting me know.
May the Father richly bless you in Christ.
Steve Fuller
Thank you for this post. My main problem with jealousy lately is it seems as if everyone around us is having children while my husband and I have been trying for over a year with no luck so far. It’s really upsetting to me lately.
Dear RT,
Thank you for stopping by and for leaving your comment.
My wife and I also struggled with getting pregnant — so my heart goes out to you. You can read about our story here.
Let me know your thoughts on that post. And I’m going to pray for you both right now.
Steve
Hello, This post is amazing, I believe Jesus is the only way to peace.
My parents were married for 14 years when my father betrayed my mother when she was pregnant of my little brother. When she discovered she was very upset. She became sick with a strong anemia. He fetched her down because him, my mother and this woman work at the same company and my mother hears bad comments everyday about them. My father is never sorry. They’re still together but even after 5 years my father still betrays my mother.
I know, that’s their issue. but I feel very bad. I have a boyfriend, he looks like a reliable guy, but I can’t avoid getting jealousy for anything. I afraid of feel the same pain my mother feels. Sometimes I feel like I will never be able to be happy. Is there any hope?
Hi Linda,
Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your comment. I’m glad you found the post helpful.
And let me tell you — in Jesus Christ there certainly is hope.
He will comfort you, He will strengthen you, He will guide you.
He will help you deal with jealousy toward your boyfriend, and give you forgiveness and strength and wisdom regarding your father.
Are you part of a strong, Bible-believing church? Having other believers around will give you encouragement and support. Do everything you can to become part of solid, loving church.
If you feel comfortable sharing your city and state, I can see if I can find some recommendations for you.
In Christ,
Steve
Trust in God
Thank you Pastor for your insightful sermon. I have been plagued with jealousy for the longest time. I live with a sister in Christ who seems to have everything at a very young age. She has a good heart, loved by many and by God who speaks to her all the time, she is more spiritually mature, visions about her future are just marvellous, a talented gospel artist, a great body, men are after her(even my ex), my kids are more responsive(affectionate) towards her than me, they are more likely to confide in her and obey her than me…
She may sound an angel, but all this is true. She is good and i love her deeply. But spiritually am always fighting her and Our Father makes known my jealous feelings to her and to others we pray with through visions and dreams.
I cry all the time to our Lord to deliver me, i am usually spiritually low because of this. I have tried convincing myself that am great just as the Lord made me but this only lasts a moment, a day.
I feel inferior, insecure, unhappy but above all i desire to change. It is my overriding goal now as i know this has lessened my communion with God, i do not feel good enough to serve Him and the gifts He initially gave me when i got saved like healing the sick and knowledge have lessened or are not there any more. Please pray for me, am desperate as i only live to please my Lord and because of this jealousy, i know He is not happy with me
Hi SW — thank you for stopping by and sharing your story.
The good news of Jesus is that we can come to Him as we are — weak and unbelieving — and as we look to Him and call upon Him He will help us.
He will use His Word by His Spirit to so satisfy you with Himself that you will be freed from jealousy. It might be a battle — but even the battle is part of His plan to bring you great good in Him.
Let us know how you are doing with this —
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I read your entry with great understanding because I struggle in a very similar way. The one thing that comes to my heart is that the Lord Jesus wants you here, from all eternity. He made you just as you are, and delights in His creation. There has no one been born like you in all of history, nor will there be anyone like you in all of the future. He wants to deliver you, and I believe that this work is supernatural, from His heart to yours. Have you ever thought of praying together with your sister for deliverance from this? Perhaps you and your sister could pray daily for each other in this regard, and this would also maintain a very strong bond in your relationship. I felt from writing you note that the Lord’s love for you is so powerful, and that He has great mercy toward you.
I am blessed by your honesty & faithfulness to God Pastor Steve. Thank you.
You are so welcome, Omalay. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your encouraging words.
Thank you for honestly sharing from your heart. Your words ministered to my soul this morning and gave me practical steps to take to help me in this area of my life. Thank you!
You are so welcome, CM. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hi, we have the same problem.
I always seek for a “fame”. I really want to be so popular, having so many friends and all. I always jealous with my friend who is way prettier than me, I always think on my self, “Why couldn’t I be her?” “Why am I not as pretty as her?”
why
why
why
why God creates me just “average” ?
🙁 I know that this is totally wrong
I wanna change it.
I know , jealousy does not lead me anywhere, it just will devastate me, bringing me down. I can’t improve my self cos I keep wanting to be somebody else.
My role model is my friend. all I want to be is be more popular, be prettier, and all other “unnecessary” hedonism things in life.
🙁
Hi Stericfany,
What I needed was a fundamental reorientation of my heart — so I was no longer seeking my joy in impressing others — but in beholding Jesus Christ.
He is infinitely more satisfying than having a billion fans.
And then, when I’m free from trying to impress others, I can be who God has made me to be and be content in that.
May the Lord meet you powerfully as you fight the fight of faith to see all that Christ is —
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I believe in god and do spend time with god everyday but can’t get over this jealous envious feeling I have in me. Is it a sin for me to be jealous when I find out my husband has been cheating on me and is addicted to porn.? Is it a sin for me to get angry when I confront him and he calls me an over emotional dumb whore.? I am a housewife with 3 kids, no family or friends as I have moved away from my home town. How do I handle my emotions?
I am so sorry to hear what you are dealing with, Nisha. It sounds extremely painful and difficult. There certainly is a place for righteous jealousy and anger at the actions you mention.
At the same time, Jesus Christ is so glorious and loving that He can fill and satisfy you so you are full and strong no matter what your husband does.
The strength and fulness you find in Christ will then enable you to humbly speak to your husband’s sin, and, if necessary, take steps to protect yourself and your children.
Are you part of a Bible-loving church community, with some believing women who could counsel and pray for you? That would be so helpful at a time like this.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
This helped me a lot! I struggle with a strange kind of jealousy! I have a friend that is recognized by everyone around her as wise and crazy about Jesus! Well I love The Lord as well but I often get jealous of the recognition she gets of being an amazing follower of Christ. But I know that God will give me wisdom and help me get over this jealousy so that I can focus on Him!
I am so glad you found this helpful, Kaisha. Thank you for taking the time to let me know.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I have a problem seeing things I believe I should have in my life!
I am sometimes overwhelmed with jealously and envy of girls who have a chance with such wonderful men of God
I wanna be them and have equal opportunities at having a wonderful family life!
Growing up I came from a broken home with parents who didn’t serve the Lord!
I feel I was robbed in a sense and sometimes I still feel like that!
Lord please help me to change my thoughts and put all faith in you
that good things will come my way!
Just gotta believe I just gotta pray!
Your the only solution to my emptiness!
Your the only one who can turn my negative thoughts
to positive!!
Thanks for sharing your story. And you are right that Jesus Christ is the only solution for your emptiness. He promises to satisfy all your heart hungers in Himself (John 6:35). So turn to Him as you are, trusting Him to welcome you, help you, and satisfy you in Himself.
He also promises to orchestrate every circumstance of your life to bring you the greatest heart-satisfaction in Him (2Cor 4:16-18).
Maybe you could check out the post called “A Promise For Those Disappointed By God.”
You might find that helpful.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I have been working extremely hard on Missions Week at my college to get students more involved with the global church. I brought up this idea with a club on campus at the beginning of the school year and they agreed to help me. Now the week is almost over and another member of the club has been getting most of the recognition for the Week. I have been feeling jealous of him because I did almost everything for the week and he did only a couple things.
This article was helpful for me, but I know it is going to be harder to let go of this feeling of entitlement to get credit for the week.
Thank you for sharing your story, R.M.
I can totally relate to feeling jealous over someone else getting recognition. It’s a battle I fight often.
What’s helped me is to see that my heart will not be satisfied by recognition from others, but by seeing God glorified and enjoying His glory.
So whether he does or does not choose to have me recognized, I’m good — because I’ve got Him.
Help me fight this battle I use John 5:44 and John 21:22. I hope this helps some — let me know.
(And if you wanted to hear feedback from others, maybe you could post this on the Forums page on “Overcoming Jealousy.”)
i want to get pregnant and have failed from past 7-8 months. I’ve prayed to God because I’m jealous when I see parents with babies in their hands and I don’t have babies. I trust in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and I believe God has sent me a holy baby from heaven in my tummy and i am pregnant.
Hi Elsa,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. If you want, you could share your story on the Forums page so others could also pray for you.
It sounds like you have had a difficult last 8 months, wanting a baby and not being able to get pregnant. I am sorry for your sadness. My wife and I also struggled with not being able to get pregnant, and it was very difficult.
I do have two suggestions. One is to see that it’s Jesus Christ, not a baby, who will completely satisfy your heart. That’s what he promises in John 6:35. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a baby. But if we think a baby will fill our hearts, we will be disappointed, because no baby can do that. And we will also be making something more important to us than Jesus Christ, which is wrong.
Jesus loves you, cares about you, and will make Himself so real to You in the Word that your heart is overflowing with peace and joy (John 4:13-14; John 6:35; John 7:37-38). You might be helped reading the blog posts “How to be Content” and “A Promise For Those Disappointed in God.”
I would also suggest that you read the blog posts about what it means to pray with faith, and on whether faith means believing that God will give me exactly what I am asking for. I think you might find them helpful in understanding more about prayer.
May the Lord fill your heart with Himself, and give you a beautiful baby.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
This article has helped me, even though my experience with jealousy involves my spouse being overly female friendly and I, the opposite. There was a time when Jesus was my focus and over time, my spouse became my focus and my joy has faded. I want my joy back!!!!
I am so glad you found this helpful. Thanks for letting me know. I pray that the Father meets you so powerfully in His Word that you see and feel Jesus Christ as your all-satisfying Treasure.
Ours was a happy family. My daughter and I were to join my husband who had just moved to Germany.We even had a prayer meet at our home to thank the Lord for his love and blessings.
A few days later my husband sent me a mail that he wanted a divorce from me and stopped contacting us.
I was thanking Jesus and the next minute my happy perfect life suddenly disappeared.
It has been more than 6 months and he has not called even once nor replied to my mails/calls.
What is surprising is that before all this happened , his entire life revolved around me and my daughter.
Yes, I am jealous when I see my friends with their husband’s, kids with their father.
My daughter misses her father, she is just 3.I miss my husband. I cannot meet him since I live in a different country.
Battling bitterness and jealously , I came across your post and found it helpful.
Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear your story, Diana. It is truly heart-breaking.
At the same time, the fact that you are battling your bitterness and jealousy is a beautiful display of God’s grace in your life.
I have not experienced anything close to what you are going through.
But the little pain I have had in my life has helped me learn that God loves us deeply, that He is in complete control of everything, that He purposefully allows trials to come in order to bring us even more closeness to Him, and that He will give us all the grace we need during those times of sorrow and loss.
Maybe you could look at posts on this blog under the topic of “Feeling Grief And Sorrow?” and “Problems or Trials.” I hope some of those posts will comfort and encourage you.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank you for writing this post. I came across it at a time in my life where I am SO jealous of my employed friends who complain about or brag about their job on Facebook. It just makes me so bitter!
But the line you wrote about God never wanting to withhold good touched me deeply tonight. Thank you.
You are so welcome. Thank you for letting me know that this was helpful.
Hi Steve,
I came across this blog in a time of need. I was looking for biblical wisdom on how to deal
with jealousy. I’m here praying to the Lord for peace.
My jealousy is really so silly which makes it more frustrating. I’m not sure where it stems from, but when my husband has a guy’s night I get feelings of jealousy as if he’s being unfaithful to me. I know He adores me but tonight he was more frustrated with me than ever. He feels as though I treat him like a child when he is out with friends. I’m emberassed by my own actions. I want to rid jealousy from my life entirely! Please help me with biblical advice and a man’s perspective. I want to understand him and be a faithful woman in Christ.
Thank you for listening,
May
Hi May,
I’m not sure all the details of your marriage. So I might be missing something.
But if I were you, I’d start by setting my heart on Jesus Christ, and praying over God’s Word until I was fully satisfied in Him.
Then you will be at peace no matter what your husband does.
You’ll need wisdom as to whether you should share with your husband that you’d like more time with him, or whether his time with the guys is helpful for him and his walk with Christ, or whatever.
Are you both part of a loving, Bible-teaching and Bible-living church? Maybe there’s a older couple who could give you some counsel about this.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank you Steve for your kind words of encouragement. I believe delving in the word is just what I need. God bless you.
Hi. I want to thank you for your postits helping me, but maybe if i explained my situation you cold help me some more. I’m not suree how long ago you posted this but i hope i’m not too late…
So i recently embarked on a quest to find God and live the life he wants me to live-i had been vEry depressed and i wanted his happiness. I’m socially retarded and am only myself around very close people like my sisters. When i try to put myself out there i get terribly scared and panicky-especially around boys-i’ve been at an all girls school for 5 years now. I’ve had two major crushes and one stopped talkong to me and the other i did. I felt i was relying on him too much to be happy and i want God to be my source of joy. I heard that if yu change your thinking you change your life. I’m trying but it’s hard. I read my bible and try memorize verses that i can live by so that when i’m thinking negatively i’l think of that-doesn’t work very well. I’ve always wanted a best friend or even just really close ones who understand me but i i don’t have one. What kept me going was thinkng about my future with “the one” from God and that HE would make me completely happy. That faded and well now i want God to be the one. I want my life to be god-centred where i wake up deliriously happy not because some guy likes me but because God is good. I don’t know how to find ultimate happiness in Him where no one else matters but him and me. Whoever comes into my life i want to ADD to my happiness to my life not be my lfe and reason for being.
The jealous bit comes in beacuse i realized only recently that all my inadequacies and my hopes have been effortlessly achieved by my peers who don’t have a need for God. The exact kind of lifei wanted in the 7th grade is the one they have-and they’re loving it. I’m in the the 12th grade now (not sure if thats the american equivalent). And i have to be jealous of SOMEONe..i’ll get over one person then find something in someone else to want,e.g
1.K is wealthy,popular, pretty, confident and happy-thinikng her unhappy would be a petty way of making me not feel so bad. Wheni got over thAt…
2.M was new at school and she made friends easily and was loud pretty and had the kind of friends i wanteD, has a Brittish accent(i love english).Then…
3.V(still stuck here) is artistic, has many friends, in drama, new at school and not shy at all and pretty
#to make it more difficult they are all vEry nice so trying to be superior is out.
Wheni see their profile pictures i get terribly depressed and wonder why i couldn’t just live life and not think so much. I cant’ stop!
I don’t want to be jealous of them. I want to appreciate their unique characters. I pray to God that he will change me so that one day i will wake up for him alone and that when he thinks i’m ready to meet the boy i will marry and have my close friends i wont change myself for them.
Also, i don’t know why but i wake up EVERY morning with a VERY heavy heart and i feel like dying so it will go away. I like to sleep because i wont think and dread waking up because i’l know the feeling i’l have. It got so bad that i asked Him to kill me because i wanted His happiness and suicide would mean possibly hell.
I know what his happiness is. I’ve experienced it. Scenario:wake up sad. Think of God, become unbelievably cheerful, have a brilliant morning with no jealous thougts, then something happens and i start to think more, worry more, adn am sad so that i cant get that happiness back. I want thAt eternal one.
Oh and the boy i stopped talking to, is toppd because i deleted my account but he has my #, i want Him to respect me and know i’m worth calling. The social network i deleted was cheap to use so i felt i was more of a convenience to talk to than a want. But i can’t stop thinking about him, we kynda look alike so when i see me i see him and iss him so much. One reason i dont redownload the application is because he would not talk to me for days then make me sooo happy when i did talk to him-dangerous how he controlled my mood. He also assumed i wold obviously go out with him when my year was up-i told him i wouldn’t date till in upper6 (last year before varsity/senior year). I liked him more than he did me and that scares me.
Please help me. I don’t know how to let God take over completely so that He comes to me and that i don’t have a need for him-if he even be the one.
Thanks
Hi Stephanie,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me.
Your question is probably too much for me to try to answer here. But here are two thoughts.
First, read the blog posts on “How to be content” and “a promise for those disappointed by God.” I think they might speak to your situation.
Second, are you part of a Bible-teaching church? If so, maybe you could find some humble and mature sisters in Christ who would encourage you, and pray with and for you.
May the Lord richly bless you, Stephanie,
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
thank you. God bless.
You are so welcome.
Steve,
This is such an incredible post. It’s like Jesus wrote it, which is how it should be when we speak His word? 🙂 Thank you for writing about jealousy. It is so true that we get jealous because we believe something else will satisfy us more. Not too mention, we have a root in there that we don’t trust God enough to believe that He won’t withhold good things from us. This root could be there because of past experiences (we had to get everything we could to survive, and nothing was handed to us). Or, it could be from failed relationships, in which the people did not follow through on their Word. I am so grateful that we serve a God that isn’t like a man, that He should lie or relent, but that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing more of His beauty with the world. This post was food to my soul. Grace and peace to you.
Ashley
Hi Ashley,
I am so glad you found this helpful — and thank you for letting me know.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hello Steve. I just want to say thank you for writing such a helpful article. I just starting using the suggestions you gave, but I see God already making progress in me as I use them. And I just thank God for sharing this article and for Him helping me through you. I struggle with jealously of what others have that I would like God to give me, but as I realize that God is MY Father as well, I se He can give me anything I ask for as well. I just need to be patient. Again, thank you! Take care and God bless you always.
Hi Steve,
I was searching online for some Christian help in dealing with jealousy and found your site. Your post was helpful. I have struggled a lot with being just average, good in some areas but not really good or excellent or excelling in areas. This has followed me throughout my academic pursuits and into seminary where I’m completing a PhD in biblical studies. It’s very difficult to see people who are excelling and who are genuinely very smart and blessed by God and for me to not feel inferior. I know that God has a unique plan for my life and has given me a certain measure of natural and spiritual gifts. But it still is a difficult struggle not to compare myself to others, especially in academia.
Blessings,
Shannon
Hi Shannon,
It’s good to hear from you, and I’m glad you found this post helpful.
I also regularly struggle with jealousy. What helps me most is to fight to see and feel Jesus Christ as my all-satisfying Treasure, along the lines of Matt 13:44, Psa 16:11, Psa 73:25-26.
When I do, I can be content to be who He has called and gifted me to be, regardless of whether I am superior or inferior to anyone else.
It’s not easy. It’s a battle against pride and unbelief. But He promises to help as I fight. And when I do fight, and experience Him changing and filling my heart, it’s worth all the effort.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hey everyone i was looking for help on jealousy through the work of jesus and this was the first result. Let me starts off by saying that i am going through a time were faith is diminishing and i wish to have it returned. I always ask myself how did we get here and big questions. But i ask through god that i could be more tolerant around my friends girlfriend because she talks him up and make me feel bad so i am jealous of him. Please help me
-gods speed
Thanks for opening your heart here, Dom. I pray that as you fight the fight of faith, confessing any unbelief, asking for more of the Spirit’s work, and trusting God’s promises — God will fill you with peace and joy in Him so fully that your jealousy is gone.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I feel relieved after the steps followed. Jeez! I even shed tears.
Thank you. God bless you. 🙂
You are so welcome, Mai. I am deeply encouraged that God met you and helped you.
thank you very much for sharing this. i have been struggling to get over jealousy of a friend’s success and wealth. in my heart i know it is evil and i am ashamed of it but i can’t seem to stop myself. your post reminded me that i don’t have to overcome it by myself, to just come to Jesus as i am and ask Him to help change my heart. thank you for this blog, you help remind us that the fight never stops and struggling is natural but God will always be consistent in His love.
Hi Tara —
Isn’t that encouraging — that we don’t need to battle jealousy ourselves but can turn to Jesus as we are and He will help us. I love that!
Press on, He is worth it all.
Steve Fuller
This helps a lot. I have been struggling with an extreme kind of jealousy that is potentially dangerous to my relationship.
I go to a community college and all of my friends go to big universities all over the state. My girlfriend is currently in a very nice private university out of state and the long distance has been totally cool so far. But something that Is very difficult for me is people telling me/tweeting/facebooking why they love college so much. And they tell me that these are the best years of a person’s life and I shouldn’t be complaining. I’m sitting here in a cheap community college. I don’t like school. And I get angry when people post about how wonderful it is and I wish I could be going to a nice university like they are. I find myself becoming extremely jealous of all of their dorm life, parties, campus, and freedom.
Its so hard for me because I begin tweeting things like “If college were cheaper maybe people would actually have a chance.” and “In America, people’s parents buy their knowledge for them.”
This is obviously a manifestation of my jealousy and its really hurting my girlfriend. She says that I’ve offended her a lot with the things I’ve said because yes, her parents did pay for her college.. But she’s also a freaking genius.
So I’m so scared. The more people tell me about their college experiences, the more angry I get. But I’m supposed to support them and be happy for them! Especially my girlfriend! I need to get this jealousy under control before it damages more of my relationships. Its really hard to tackle jealousy when things continuously remind me why I’m jealous. (going to my community college, seeing their wonderful University posts, etc.)
Thanks.
-caleb
Thanks for sharing your story, Caleb. I haven’t felt the exact same jealousy as you, but have felt enough jealousy to be able to relate.
The key truly is seeking and finding your heart-satisfaction in knowing Jesus Christ. Being in a better college, having more money, enjoying more freedom — none of those will satisfy you. Only Jesus Christ will fully satisfy you.
And when you experience the joy of knowing and worshiping Him, you will feel more content about the college you are in, and be more able to rejoice in whatever colleges others are in.
I’m glad you found this post helpful. Press on, brother,
Steve Fuller
I, like anyone else, struggle with jealousy just like other sins. But my big issue with jealousy is being the receiver of others’ jealousy towards me. I have been told since I was a child by my siblings that my parents were jealous of me. For many years, not only did I not believe it because I was their child and they were my parents, but I also discounted the thoughts because that just could not be possible. I refused to believe it. Years later, not only do I believe that my parents were and are jealous of me, but my siblings also. I have had several Christian “friends” who no longer desire a relationship me because they blatantly stated that they are jealous of me. It’s all so stupid…over material possessions. A lot of it is not about material possessions. For my parents, they couldn’t kill my will to live or my spirit. I have nothing. The little I do have I was blessed with through hard work and His favor. My daughter has had friends’ parents to tell her and myself that we are “rich”. Very disturbing. As a result, I don’t have any friends and have become leery about making new relationships. I long to have meaningful, sustaining relationships. My heart aches. Yes I have a meaningful relationship with Christ. I desire meaningful relationships with earthly Christians.
Hi Faith,
I am so sorry to hear about the pain you have experienced as a result of others’ jealousy.
Please don’t give up on the possibility of having meaningful relationships with other believers. This is God’s will for those in the Body of Christ.
So seek comfort, healing, encouragement from Christ, and press into find other believers you can love.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I love this post, which I found while searching for help on how to deal with jealousy. I realize now, once again, that I need only to find complete satisfaction in Jesus Christ. I so often am jealous of other people’s friendships with others, relationships, or looks. I know this is not what the Lord wants me to do and feel, for it is not of His Character. Especially within the looks category, I need to step back and remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, just how God made me, and just how He made every other person. Especially when I come into contact with someone who seems to have it all together (i.e. kind, spiritual, physically pretty, athletic, smart, etc.) it is so easy for me to become jealous, another sign that I just want attention and glory and that I am not content with how God has made me–obviously not good things. He does not look at the outward appearance, but at the heart.
Anyway, this post helps so much and is such a great reminder! Thanks!
In Him,
McKenna
Hi McKenna —
So glad to hear from you — thank you for your comment.
You summarized everything perfectly when you said that it all comes back to finding complete satisfaction in Jesus Christ.
And isn’t it glorious that we don’t have to overcome jealousy by gritting our teeth — but that, by the work of the Spirit, we can be so filled with Christ that we are actually free of the jealousy.
Yes, it’s a fight of faith. But with prayer, the Word, and the Spirit — God frees us again and again.
Onward!
Steve
Hi Steve,
I’m sitting here alone tonight with tear filled eyes and an awful feeling of jealousy towards someone who has never ever hurt me. He has come to know God but me, well, I lost my way a few years ago. The jealousy in my heart is starting to drive us apart and it frightens me so. He is a wonderful man who loves me and my children as his own. I left a very bad 20 year relationship a few years ago that was filled with nothing but lies and betrayal and I am fighting this fear of the same thing happening to me again in my new relationship. I pray and pray that God cleanses me and fills my heart with trust. Will you pray with me? Thank you Steve…
Hi Joy,
“Father, I pray that through prayer and your Word you would so fill Joy with the glory of Christ that she is secure and content and free.
“Enable her to battle the jealousy when it arises. Lead her to Scriptures which she can use as the sword of the Spirit. Strengthen her to use the shield of faith to extinguish every one of Satan’s flaming darts.
“Thank you that you put all of Joy’s jealousy to death on the Cross 2,000 years ago — and that as she fights the fight of faith now she will see the power of the Cross put jealousy to death again and again.
“Encourage her right now, I pray, in Jesus’ name.”
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thanks bro, I’m fighting jealousy at church I want to be the center of attention with my pastor and his family but mainly with his daughter. There is a new guy in our church and when he is around she will pay him attention and won’t hardly say anything to me and I’m jealous.
Thanks for letting me know, Kennu. And it is so good that you are fighting the jealousy. All you need is Jesus Christ, and when you see and feel his glory, jealousy will flee.
But like you said, it is a battle. So battle on.
He is worth it all.
Steve
Help
Hi Pastor,
I am now battling with jealousy because I have kind of become the domestic worker at home. I have to take care of my two sisters kids. It is driving me insane. They have jobs and cars. I have no problem with cleaning and doing laundry but not to be treated like a ‘Domestic Worker’ in my own home. I sometimes feel like my parents feel like I am inadequate because I cannot get a job. I trust that the Lord will bless me in the right time.
What is very annoying is also the fact that, I will babysit my sisters’ daughter for over a week and won’t even get a thank you. It hurts sooo much. I am 25 and have a son and have to take of 4 more kids, bathing them, taking them to creche and doing the house cleaning as well.
God help me and deliver me…Let me endure Father God. Even though I become an insult to my parents sometimes as per my observations!
YOU WILL HELP ME GOD. I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL…
Hi Lulu,
You are right — God will help you.
Take time to open God’s Word, and set your heart on the truth of all he promises to be to you in Jesus Christ.
Pour out your soul before him. Express to him your struggles. Ask him to satisfy you fully in himself — so he is truly all you need. Ask him to give you wisdom about your present situation.
He will meet you, satisfy you in himself, and guide you.
He promises.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank you! Bless
Hey, thank you very much for encouraging me I feel that i need other friends and people to satisfy me for my fleshly desires of social esteem and not the love of Christ to be my only friend. Thank you so much for laying this out step-by-step and helping me! I really appreciate it.
P.S. I am 14 freshman in highschool, if that clears up reasons why i feel this way.
You are so welcome, Luke. I’m really encouraged that you found this helpful. Thank you for letting me know.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank-you for explaining the jealous behavior. Boy, do I feel it now. I rededicated my life over to Jesus, and I am reading his truth a lot these days. Thank-you for your message. May God continue to bless you each day.
Lynne Carroll
You are so welcome, Lynne. I am thrilled that you are experiencing the truth of Jesus Christ changing your heart. That’s beautiful.
Thank you for your encouraging words.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I am obese, attractive but big i find myself soooo lonely everyone else brags on a husband and i carry the load alone i dnt mean spiritually i mean earthly help from a spouse. It sadens me greatly. Y not me god, y am i fat and have such a long lonely fight?
Hi Pam,
Thank you for sharing your heart and concerns.
I would encourage you to read through the posts on the far right side of this page under “Here’s A Quick Overview.”
By God’s grace as you read through the Scriptures and fight to trust God’s promises, you will so meet the Lord that you are completely content in him.
The truth is that you don’t need a husband to be content, and a husband, as wonderful as he might be, won’t satisfy the desires of your heart. Only Jesus Christ can.
So the place to start is by strengthening your faith in him.
Then, as you are trusting him and growing to be content in him, you can battle to do what will be best for your health, and that is to become more physically fit.
The goal isn’t to get a husband. The goal is to be healthy so you can more effectively serve Christ and have the joy of bringing him glory.
You can certainly pray for a husband, and God might choose to bring one to you. But in the meantime you can be fully content in Christ, and have the heart-filling joy of living for his praise.
I hope that helps.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I really needed to hear this
Thank you for letting me know, Treddie. I really appreciate it.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
thank you for this. I am currently struggling with my friend’s recent engagement to my boyfriend’s brother of only 1.5 years, whereas my boyfriend and I have been dating for 6+ years.
I am struggling fighting jealousy and struggling to not talk about them constantly because of my frustrations and emotions of why my boyfriend and I aren’t getting married first, since we have been together longer. It is hurting my relationship with my boyfriend and i’ve been trying to explain to him how i feel, but he is very frustrated with me constantly talking about his brother and Fiance and how I feel it is unfair. I know i need to focus on God and His plans for my boyfriend and I, but it is very hard.
He (boyfriend) feels that I am unsatisfied in our relationship we have together and i know it is due to me griping and complaining. But i have also explained to him and pointed out how his mother treats his brother’s fiance differently and favors her more than me, even though I’ve been in the family for 6+ years.
But thank you for this, i will continue to call out to God for strength to help me refocus on Him and His plans for me.
I am sorry to hear about your struggle, SC, and I am glad you found this blog post encouraging.
Also, are you part of a church which might have wise, godly, older women of faith who would pray with and for you? I think you would find that very helpful.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank you for your teaching. I like others have been dealing with jealousy. At this moment in time the Lord led me to your teaching. I thank you for writing it and being transparent of your own challenges with it. It is a cancer and is robbing me of joy. I confessed my sin to the Lord and asked Him to forgive me and to deliver me from this and to help me to find my satisfaction in Him and Him alone. I know He heard my prayer for the burden is lifted and I feel His peace and I feel clean. He is and will help me in the days to come as I submit to Him.
Hi Debbie,
I am thrilled to hear that you burden was lifted and that you felt his cleansing peace. That is beautiful.
I hope others read what you experienced, and press in as you did.
Thanks for sharing,
Steve Fuller
Thank you for writing this article about overcoming jealousy. It always seems that someone has many more friends and makes a point to make sure everybody knows. He also is much more well known in our community.
I feel not only jealous but also pushed out even though he says we are friends
Thank you for your insight and sharing your experience.
You are so welcome, Jill. Thank you for letting me know that this blog post was helpful.
And may Christ especially strengthen you during this Christmas season.
In Him,
Steve Fuller
Thank you for this, I was about to cry and realized how wrong I am for being so insecure and jealous with everyone. I kept thinking that others are prettier, smarter, luckier, than I. I always forget that I’m so blessed.
You are so welcome, Athena. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I find that whenever I’m jealous, it’s because I’m trusting something other than Jesus Christ as my all-satisfying Treasure.
Realizing this, and then turning my heart back to him in earnest prayer with meditation on His Word, always (in time) brings great change to my heart.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thank you for this article! I kept rereading this over and over because I’ve been dealing with jealousy of an ex. He told me he loved me but I knew he wasn’t right for me or my relationship with God so I rejected his offer of rekindling our relationship again. Overtime he’s deliberately been showing off his new girlfriend and what’s changed since the past…. I don’t know how to deal with this jealousy as we all see each other on a daily basis. I’ve hated myself for letting it get to me as it’s just taken over my life. I need to recommit myself constantly this year to Christ as this isn’t the end of his mind games and jealousy use. What little do I know now? Not much. Thankfully with what’s happened God won’t let me go. My trust truely needs to be dependent on God and not on relationships. Please pray for me to overcome this. Thank you.
I will pray for you right now. Thank you for taking the time to share your story.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
thank you for your wonderful topic, God Bless.
You are so welcome, Jean. Thank you for taking the time to let me know.
Thanks for this article! I am widely encouraged but I am in deep depression right now esp on jealousy and I need your spiritual guiding grace on specific things. Please send me an email and I will reply to you with all my concerns in life. I need some enlightenment from the Holy Spirit.
Keep in touch.
Manda
Hi Manda,
You are so welcome.
I am sorry about your struggle with depression.
Instead of an email, would you mind using the Forum page to share your concerns? You could still maintain privacy, you would get the benefit of hearing from others besides me, and others would benefit as well.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Thanks for the reply Steve.
I am jealous of a very close friend who is having a deeper relationship such as we have with another new friend. I don’t want to lose my friend but it seemed that its heading that way. I do not know what to do and how to handle the situation. I am very tired of the arguments that we are having every now and then because of the new person. She has been hiding her phone and messages away from me since the arrival of her new mysterious friend. I really do not know to react on this matter. Please guide me thru.
This article really inspired me, I have a huge problem with jealously that I’ve been fighting for a while and I feel extremely bad about it. Me and friend got hired into a great company working for the government around the same time but in different districts.I felt like this job was the start of a new life for myself and my daughter I was beyond excited and for once I could see my life finally coming together. I had planned on moving and buying a new car, once I put enough time in on my job. But due to issues with my boss I was fired, my friend still works for this company and she recently just moved into a new home,brought a new car and plans on getting married soon. I’m happy for her but at the same time I’m very jealous and upset because I feel like that is what my life should of been like. “And sometimes it hurts me because she rubs it in my face which makes me more upset and jealous. I’m so ready to overcome this, I feel like me being jealous is blocking my blessings, I need help.
I am so sorry to hear about your job difficulties, and that your friend is, as you say, rubbing your face in it.
But in Jesus Christ there is good news. He himself is all you need to be fully and everlastingly satisfied. Not only that, he is in sovereign control of every trial that comes your way — and will bring you great, great good through every one of them, especially the great good of even more closeness with him.
So keep fighting to see and feel Christ as your all-satisfying Treasure, and pray that God provides you with everything you need.
I will pray for you as well right now.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
thanks for the post I pray that these steps will help me get closer to God and trust In Him more, I really need help because I always feel jealous and upset and angry at myself sometimes when I see where some of my friends are now and what they have wishing I was in their shoes and had or be where they are now…my problem is money and always get jealous when realise I don’t have enough, please I need help to trust more in Christ.
thank you, senam
You are so welcome, Senam. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Mr. Fuller,
I want to express my gratitude towards you for taking the time to put this into words. I have found this very encouraging and helpful. I am and have been struggling with jealousy in all areas of my life for years and can’t seem to escape it. If you ever have time I would most certainly be happy for an email (nerk247@live.com).
I am so glad this was helpful for you, Nathanael. Unfortunately, I am just not able to send personal emails to those who comment on this blog site.
But if you have a specific question, maybe you would post it on the Forums page, where I, and others, could respond.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
What I am experiencing is ironic.
The kind of jealousy I have is….
I am jealous of other people having fulfilling connection with our heavenly Father. I am jealous He loved them as much as He does to me. I should be happy but I dont feel right! I want Him all for myself!
As I wrote this I can analyse myself m looking at people first then God…where I should put Him first. There said it.
I want Him all for myself. This cant seem to change.
think its good or bad? I dont know.. help.
You raise a good question, Lia, and it’s not easy to know what to say.
I’m puzzled that you say you want God all for yourself. This is puzzling, because when we meet God he satisfies us completely in himself so we have no need to be better than others. At the same time, when we see others having joy in him, that increases our own joy in God, as it displays even more of God to us.
So it might help you to search your heart to see how much of your seeking of God is not really seeking God himself, but seeking to be better than others by means of God.
If that’s not what’s going on, then please forgive me for mentioning it. And please keep us posted on what you discover, and on how God works.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Steve, thank you for wise response.
I have been confused but now I understand how to fight jealousy. . Seeking God rightly. I have been seeking on my terms not on His.
Thanks again for encouragement for more prayers and being a part of this journey!
Lia
I have been searching for scripture to help me with my spirit of jealousy, anger, and despair. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 8 months, with no success. I have had many people around me get pregnant, on accident. Thank you for this post. I need to pour my heart out to God, like Hannah, and trust in Him and His plans for me. Its going to be an uphill battle, but I feel so much peace just in reading this and crying out to God. Thank you for helping me find the words I needed to say. God bless you!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Tamara. I am deeply grateful that this post brought some encouragement to you.
As you pour your heart out to God, and fight the fight of faith, God will surely comfort and strengthen and help you. My wife and I went for 4 years without being able to get pregnant — and time and again he met both of us with sweet comfort and peace. It was a battle, but he was always faithful.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
“God withholds nothing good from me.”
that is a very good line and it helped me a bit from thinking that God does not care about my worries.
I am feeling very envious right now with my friend and I did not expect that I can feel this way ever! I am very embarrassed with myself, and I feel that I have failed God. This is the first time that I felt envy and I feel it so strong right now, I never expected this. I am always happy for others for their success and whatever and it’s just this time that I can’t seem to control this feeling inside me.
I feel so powerless over it and that’s what led me to this site because I was searching ways to overcome it. Thank God for this article.
After reading this article, I prayed and I hope that God would know how I feel. it’s such a heavy feeling inside and I didn’t know that a feeling such as envy could be so heavy a burden.
I hope God answers my prayers.
thank you.
Hi RG,
I am so glad you found this helpful.
I find that as I keep pressing in to Jesus by faith, praying over God’s promises, and asking for his help, he again and again frees me from jealousy.
So be encouraged — and press on.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hi
My main problem is that I feel that everyone around is way more successful than me, even those who weren’t as good as me in School/college. Everyone earns more than me, my heart aches EVERY SINGLE day seeing my friends’ Linkedin profiles 🙁 I have even started hating myself, but I know the Lord has been so so good to me and blessed me with awesome family and friends. But still, I simply t feel down and end up cribbing about my life 🙁
Hi Swaps,
Thank you for sharing your story.
I’d encourage you to take the steps I outlined in the post above, and see what Jesus does to change your heart.
Jealousy is a beast — but the sword of the Spirit can slay it.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I know I am a bit late in the game, but this was extremely insightful and very helpful. I struggle with how I look; I am not pretty, and I am insanely jealous and hateful towards girls who are. It is something that has made me unhappy for so long, so this Lenten season I will over come it with God’s help. I am made in His image, therefore I am beautiful.
This post helped a lot in that I know I am not the only one plagued by jealousy. My reasoning may be more shallow than others, but it still is something I struggle with.
Thank you.
Hi Ash,
I am so glad you found this helpful; thanks for letting me know.
And may Jesus Christ so satisfy you in himself, that you just don’t care about what others might have more than you — because he himself is all-satisfying.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I have problems with jealousy too. I lost my dream, I’ve lived a life of setbacks while my sister is fulfilling her dreams and God is doing great things in her life while he allowed me to lose so much. Now I feel bad, weak and inferior, it sounds like pride but my reasons are that I had what my sister had and God allowed me to fail even though I worked so hard while my sister continues to succeed. It’s not fair. But I don’t like to envy her and I love her
Hi Elmer,
Thank you for sharing your story.
The good news is that Jesus Christ is such a treasure that when we see him more clearly, we are freed from jealousy, because we are completely satisfied in him.
This is a battle. But he will meet us as we fight, and give us everything we need.
May the Lord pour his peace and joy and presence upon you,
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
This post was excellent; I’m struggling with jealousy and went looking for help. I found this posting during my search. It identifies WHY my jealousy is wrong which helps me refute it.
I really want to be happier but I understand that God only has good planned for me… Now I have to wait (patience is also in short supply with me) to see. But I trust it will come.
Thank you again. John.
You are so welcome, John. Thanks for taking the time to share your encouraging words.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hello pastor. I really enjoyed you message. Over the past year I have found myself very jealous of my friend. An she happens to be one of my closets friends. I also feel like we have become very competitive with each other. In the past I’ve been in very negative friendship that consists of jealousy and envy. I have started to push myself away. This spirit on me is so heavy and draining I do not sleep well.
I don’t want to live like this no longer
Hello pastor. Over the past 2 years I have become very jealous of my closest friend. I don’t feel good about myself when I’m around her and I feel like she is a silent competitor. Since me her have friends I’m no longer close to any of my old friends because I have always put her on a peedlstole. Now I don’t hang with anyone I consider to be a
great friend. This jealous feeling I have to wards her is so draining I van barely sleep at night.
Hello pastor. Thank you for your word. I am currently battling jealousy with my child hood best friend. Our friendship is no longer filled with happiness and celebrating each other beauty and success. now a days it’s a silent competition. I personally feel at this point of our lives we should be closer but instead I can barely stand her presence. Lately finding myself pulling away from her and when she ask me to hang out I don’t want to attend. It’s hurting to know that I’m jealous of her and her new figure and career And I feel she feels the same way towards me. At this point I don’t know if I should ask God to rebuild our situation or give me strength to let her go.
Hi Kimberly,
I would encourage you to start with battling the jealousy you feel towards her, following the steps I outlined in the above post.
Then, as your heart starts enjoying Christ as your all-satisfying Treasure, you will have more wisdom as to how God wants you to proceed with your relationship.
I hope that helps.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hello! This is a great post, as many others have said. I know as a maturing Christian, this is a very important topic to deal with, instead of hiding it away or letting it grow. I’ve been cheated on several times, and my father never valued me very much, so I have a low self esteem. My boyfriend, whom I intend to marry, has had a long-term best friend who is a girl. She just happens to be a model, and happens to be gorgeous, and happens to be single. All of these facts fill my head, and like you mentioned in the article–it becomes about me. I lose myself sometimes in it, and although I’ve gotten better about it, tonight was a sort of relapse, as I saw more pictures of her modeling and she looked absolutely gorgeous and sexy. I recognized that I was thinking about myself too much, and letting these standards get to me, but it’s hard when they’d been best friends for so long. I believe that God gave me this sort of challenge so that I could get over this jealousy, but my gosh is it hard. It reminds me of Malachi 3:3, because we are refined in a process that keeps us in the fire (in the battle with our sins) for so long we think we can’t take it anymore–and yet God knows better. God will refine me, and every other Christian repenting of sins, even if that refining is a difficult process. But thank you again for this article.
Hi Steve,
I have been trying to fight my thoughts over the feeling of jealousy. I am not married yet and am looking fwd to. While on it, I have a friend(guy) who is very close to me and who is married. I feel extremely jealous when I see them together. I feel she is very lucky and she has an ideal husband. I believe god for my husband. At the same time I get thoughts that God may not give me the kind of husband I want, that God choses simple things, so he might as well give me a very simple person and it might not match our mentalities. When I try to put it forth in prayer to god, I feel that in the presence of Mighty god, we need to watch our words and what we speak? This is really making me feel very sad and at times angry towards everyone and everything.
During jealous two thing happens.First we forget all the good things we have and how lucky we are.Second we will start to give or build exaggeration for what we lost.We feel we lost some thing very big because of this exaggeration as we always thought of it.To get rid of it try to believe our self very special and unique and also think about the good things you did to others .It will help you to feel more precious than your friend.Try to find the other good things happen around,remember there is always somebody that need your support,friendship or care.Now remember Jesus is powerful enough to handle any complicated mindset.He will give paths and ways to overcome this jealous to a point you feel that the marriage of your friend is a small thing in life.Also pray for your friend and his wife as it is always good to see people enjoy their life living in peace and harmony.
Thank you for this wonderful message.
I’ve been struggling with jealousy these past few months, but have been too much of a coward to admit to myself that I’ve been jealous the whole time. Denial. Seeing the effect of delayed confession, the sin only grew roots in my heart, which lead me to grow colder and colder day by day. Today, God convicted me to seek for an answer. And I believe God used you and your testimony in this struggle. Thank you again. I’ve been reminded and rebuked.
God bless you 🙂
I know you said “I’m not trusting Jesus’ promise that He Himself will fully satisfy me (John 6:35). And I am trusting that something else will satisfy me more than Jesus.”
… But what do I do if I’m literally jealous of someone who has a great relationship for The Lord and I seem to be struggling.
I’m jealous because I go to church weekly and feel sort of alone and I’m struggling to be passionate, but this other person goes weekly and is on FIRE for God and always shares her testimonies with me and I’m just so jealous because I want what she has.
I feel like this is a strange kind of jealousy. I just want to figure it out.
Thanks,
Caleb
Thank you so much for this article on jealousy I have to minister this month and this really help me you are a blessing. Diane
This post was a blessing.
I sincerely appreciate your obedience regarding being transparent on your battle with jealousy. Your honesty and the steps you provided helped me identify the focus of my own jealousy. I never even realize I was jealous until I read your definition of jealousy.
Today I wasn’t to proud to admit I was jealous. I found out the reason for it, & found scripture references to aid me in conquering this green eyed monster. A weight has been lifted off me. The Holy Spirit revealed that I had some negative thinking patterns & things within that I needed to change. I had a shocking “Oh! I see now” moment. (Lol)
I immediately prayed for you & your family & thanked God for using you to minister by way of this post.
God bless you
I believe this will be my first ever attempt to write about what I truly feel within. the past two days have been the most difficult and painful. I have lost a really really good friend named Ankur Deb. I have never experienced such a great loss in my life. when I heard about his demise I was crushed. I’m still crushed. along the way I prayed he is in a better place. there are flashbacks of our school days still ringing through my mind. but I made an attempt to place myself in his shoe. with the person I am would God choose to take me to heaven? personally I have been the worst among the lot. I haven’t been the best daughter,sister,granddaughter, friend and most importantly God’s child. mental anxiety took hold of me, jealousy, greediness, hatred and so on and forth. I always made mistakes and I kept repenting. but now this soul no longer heeds for them. I heed for Jesus and only Jesus. I pray I am forgivable and my family, we have been living a worldly life all the while. Im assured this calls for a change. I pray to the Lord and ask for your prayers too. the passage above has greatly benefitted me and helped me recover from my anxiety. I has request you to please pray for Ankur and his family. thankyou!
Thank you
Dear Pastor,
Thank you for your guidance on fighting jealousy. Only Jesus can help us combat it and He has in my case too. He took the feeling away and gave me peace and love towards the person I was jealous of. Praise God 🙂
Hello Steve,
Thank you for the prayers months ago…. Right now the time is drawing nearer for my ex to leave and never see me again. It’s painful now because there’s silence on his side and intentional jealousy from those he’s using but God is trying to express joy and amazing miracles around me and I’m almost seeing my eyes shift with a new focus. Can you pray that my focus can continue to be shifted on God and what He wants of me?
Thank you,
Sad turned okay
Hello Sad,
I am very sorry for what you’re going through. But it is deeply encouraging to hear how God is working in your heart.
I will pray right now —
In Christ,
Steve
thanks for this…i sure needed it today
You are so welcome.
I needed to read this right now, really struggling with professional jealousy to the point where it’s getting destructive. Thank you and God bless you for this.
Hello,
I’m glad I came upon this. Jealousy has something that has been affecting me my whole life and I think I’m finally realizing that this is something I must deal with. I’m 23 now but I came to Christ when I was 19. I remember feeling these waves of jealousy every time I was in a relationship before I got saved… I haven’t been in a relationship until now and it’s been surfacing again. I always thought that this was “just how I am” and that I would have to cope with it for the rest of my life. But that’s not the case… I’m now seeing just how much it hurts me and the people around me…
It becomes so unbearable sometimes. I’m glad that I came across this because I never realized a lot of these things you were talking about. I’m praying that this doesn’t stay head knowledge, but that the Holy Spirit uses this to transform my heart. I’m so tired of feeling like this and acting out from this. I don’t know how much longer I can keep fighting… Can jealousy be rooted from past hurts as well?
I came here to look for solutions on how I can trust God more. I am fighting jealousy over my best friend. I am young. Very young. I still remember my best friend crying because she felt like nobody wants her. At that time, I felt angry. Because I feel like she doesn’t have the right to say that. She has the looks, the wealth, the fame, and most of all, a loving and happy family. Me? My father left when I was still a baby, my mother struggles to pay for my needs, my friends turned their backs on me and bullied me. It’s like I’m angry at her because she doesn’t see how lucky she is. My jealousy even went too far that I sent her an anonymous message telling her hurtful things. Please pray for me that I may be able to overcome this because it pains me and I feel like a horrible person when sometimes I wish that she doesn’t have what she has now. I know that I’m a bad friend but I’m really trying hard to fix what I have done.
S.J.
thank you so much this was a good find,
be honest I don’t know if you could deal with me and my problem I haven’t been able to find anyone who could help with advice, but I am a 45 year old homosexual woman who have been praying for God to deliver me from homosexuality and since he has I have been so thankful and so grateful but I have been in so much pain. I know the Lord and have been walking with him for 15 years and ever since I’ve known him that way living the lifestyle has been unbearable now finally its out of my life and I am so lonely I have no companion I’m not used to the heterosexual relationship so I don’t want it and the person that I have been involved with for over 11 years is now with another woman although I’m glad where Godis putting me it hurts and I’m jealous of the both of them because they have what I want someone to love waiting on Christ and thank you for your post.
P.S. I only want what God wants from me whatever it is, I’ll take my cup and I’ll take my cross in Jesus name amen
Just wanted to start by saying thanks for creating this page also thanks to everyone sharing there heart aches and pain. I finally came to a place in my life where I am no longer in denial that I am jealous of my sons mom being with other mainly other men having a relationship with my son. I didnt fall in love with her until months after she had my son. Up until that point I didnt love her the way she loved me. Long story short I broke off the relationship prior to her giving birth mainly due to the fact that we didnt know eachother long. Also she displayed sum things that I didnt like therefore I was completely turned off!! But now my feelings for her have done a complete 180 now im in love and she is scorned. And I get very jealous at just the thought of another man with my family when it should be me. Wow I feel better already. Thanks for listening. God bless you all
Thank you so much , it’s been so hard for me to stop been jealous of my friend she seems to have everything,rich parents, good look, nice clothes, and a good school. But I thank God cause I fought jealousy to the extent that I was crying when praying to God. Am happy with this steps tnk u.
Just want to thank you for this website. It is so helpful to me. You give the practical ways to work through these sins and it is so helpful. Thank you for taking the time to do this.
I’m jealous because my husband talks to other girls behind my back and hides it from me its just friends but I don’t know them and I ask why should he hide it and it makes me so angry and hurt cause he adds a different girl all the time on his Facebook I’m not quit understanding why he does so I’m confused hurt tired and want answers he never tells me why he talks to them it why he hides it from I’ve been cheated on before and I think that has alot to do with why I’m so insecure
A recurring jealously of mine is how easily things are handed to others. I feel like I have suffered alot…and yes I BELIEVE God gives me what I NEED not want. Others seem to want and get everything they ask for. I sit back and question whether God favors others more than me. Have I done something wrong? My friend is cheating on her abusive husband…left him with kids…she has an entire community cheering her on…her kids seem to side with her…money is flowing in…the boyfriend is ready to take on whatever she desires..it all seems to fall in place perfectly. I stayed with my emotionally abusive ex husband 11 years….people think hes wonderful…he owes me alot of money…he slanders my name….I work 2 jobs…my car just died…my ex is very wealthy…I fight everyday to be positive and keep moving forward. I feel deserving of support..money…validation..and a nice man. It really makes me wonder am I missing something? I pray everyday…work on patience….look at myself and challenge myself…face my fears…love wholeheartedly….work hard…try always. When I see someone sit back and have gifts one after another arrive right at their feet…it sometimes makes me feel sad. I know this may be wrong..but Im being honest. Please give me some insight.
I am a chrsitian woman who loves and fears The Lord. I accepted I have a problem with jealousy. I have repented and asked The Lord for forgiveness. I pray every day so that he can renew my soul. I am jealous of a family member who has won a lawsuit and recieved a very large settlement check. I know this mays sound odd, but I am very jealous! I’m always thinking of money money money! I hate that I always have to have money in the back of my head. I sometimes think life is so unfair. This family member who won this huge settler check has never worked. She’s had all she’s ever wanted. I feel jealous of it because I want to be in her shoes! I wish I had that money to finish paying my house and my moms house. My mother is a very hard working woman that has 2 jobs. She works day and night and I hate that! I can’t really so much since I have a family if my own and a mortgage to pay as well. 🙁 it Hurts me so much to see my mother work very hard and nvo get compensated. I have 3 more siblings but it is as if they don’t count since 3 of them don’t support her but rather give her more stress since they are drug addicts. I feel hopeless and I need help. That’s why I’m so jealous of my family member. I question myself why can’t my mother have that money?? She deserves it ? I started hating my family member because knowing the situation she hasn’t even offered in helping her own blood knowing my mom is a very hard working woman. I just feel she doesn’t deserve that money and I know it’s wrong! That’s why I ask for your prayers in overcoming this jealousy. I want to be happy and not envy what other around me have.
I grew up with my parents divorced and knowing that my father cheated on my mom. My mom is remarried now for the past 17 years and he is a great guy and has never cheated on her but she is still very insecure. My first real boyfriend cheated on me and I never found out until he left me for one of them. Then my next boyfriend I dated for 3 and 1/2 years cheated on me twice that I know of and both times I had a gut feeling and when I asked he told me. We would breakup for a month or two and then somehow he would get me to forgive him and give him another chance. On top of the cheating he was a sex addict and mentally and physically abusive. I finally got out and a month later started talking to my fiancé now. It’s been 3 and 1/2 years now and I’ve been crazy jealous since we started dating. He is my dream guy he has never cheated and hates cheaters. We have struggled with this since the beginning and he has stuck it out with me accusing him of checking other women out all the time. It causes huge fights. Sometimes I’m okay but most of the times I have bad thoughts and I get jealous if I think someone else looks better than me or is more fun than me and could maybe give him more than I could. He thinks I’m the most gorgeous women in the whole world but yet I don’t think so. We got in a fight last night bc we were on a boat and I thought he was checking another girl out and he flipped out on me bc he is just so tired of it. We got home and he was so mad and he said he couldn’t marry me anymore he was done that was the last straw. I’m freaking out bc I don’t want to lose him I love him so much and he really is just such an amazing guy all around and I just feel so lost and scared I don’t know what to do. I was searching on the internet ways to help my jealousy and I saw your post and it hit me hard. For one I believe 100% in god and to read that you won’t go to heaven bc of jealous made me sick, but your post also helped me bc I’m going to try and put it in gods hands now bc I don’t know what else to do at this point. If you have any advice I’d love to read it.
I know your post about jealousy is dated, but did you ever recover from this problem? Your story sounds a lot like mine. I need all the help I can get.
Those are insightful meditations and I found them timely. Thank you.
Thank you tonyour post it is really helpful 。 i have the exact problem that i cannot overcome my jealousy towards anyone even to the people in the church。 when they did nothin but just being good to people。i still getting jealous that i didnt receive any but acrually i relaize i do have more than anyone else and very bless丨i always feel left out when i am in a group of people not matter what 。 i feel so left out and wish to get more attention 。 when i try to change it。it turns out really bad that i did the very oppositte where i think i worth nothing so i dont have to feel jealous。but it got worst ：h。i realize i trust in god but i didnt believe that he is the only one and he is enough for me in alll satisfiction 。 instead。i care too much in other thing and see those as my satisfiction 。 thats why i feeling painful 。 i want to find my value and satisticion from god not from the others。 but i cant。how？ will he lead me ？ i just realized this problem
I Hate being Jelious an This helped me from being 100000% jelious to barly but still fighting it. Even reading about The Lord can make you feel not alone an better. I hope an Pray with all my heart I can stop messing up my relationship that I have with my Jelious so that way THINGS CAN get fix,better,happyer,an more love WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more love between us will come our way. but first I got to stop caring who he is with (if he is) and Stop BEING JELIOUs! oh man I want help by the Lord sooo ba.
I don’t know the details of your relationship. But if he is not being faithful to you, and spending time with others, then I’m not sure he is genuinely trusting Christ, or loving you.
It might be helpful for you to talk with some mature, godly women in your church, sharing with them your situation, and hearing their advice.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I am struggling with jealousy everyday. I am 21 and I know I have a full life ahead of me, but my jealousy is toward looks and wieght. Also shamed to admit this but I am jealous of my own cousin. She has guys look at her all the time and nobody gives me a glance. I am overweight and everyday I judge people anywhere I go and on tv. This jealousy is literally killing me badly. I am killing my relationship with my mom and hurting her emotionally bad. I pray but it seems the day I pray for forgiveness and for deliverance, next day it starts all over again. When I go out in public the second I see someone, I put myself down imediately. It shames me a lot. The jealousy is making my body literally sick and tired. If anyone would please pray for me as I will pray for you.
I have been jealous of my sister and haven’t wanted to be of younger women,and women I consider beautiful in regards to one man in particualar and it seems I am looking for acceptance of a man and if that man looks at many women or has, it causes me to be jealous, and a woman of God must be pure and ask God for her acceptance and hear God clearly regarding who is a husband and who is not and how to walk with men and women in this world, but in God. I have asked for forgiveness and a work of God to deliver me and set me free and replace all this with love,and remove my guilt for all of it also.
I have been with my loving boyfriend for the past 4 years and I feel as if he just doesn’t want to commit to me… He always says that no one should tell us when we should get married/engaged. He has been through a lot in the 4 yrs we have been together. He lost his job, got kicked out of his house, and battled depression. I have stuck it out with him. He finally got a job, though it doesn’t pay well. Recently 2 of my gfs just got engaged who has been dating their bf’s less than me. I feel extremely envious that they got engaged before me. I feel like God just keeps testing my patience and HE hasn’t granted what I have been praying for. I don’t want to feel angry and jealous anymore. How many times do I have to pray for it? Should I just give up on my relationship because my bf hasn’t proposed to me? Reading this post gave me perspective on how jealousy affects everyone and it’s a struggle to keep it from destroying me and everyone dealing with it. I hope that I can be at peace without condemning my other half. I’ll do my best to keep this feeling in check.
It sounds like maybe your boyfriend is not interested in getting married. I would encourage you to talk with some wise, older women at your church, to get their counsel about whether you should continue this relationship.
I’m glad this post brought you some perspective. Thank you for letting me know.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Hi 2014 hasnt been a great year for me at all.I completed my matric last year and didnt get a varsity acceptence,i was so hurt seein tht my friend got accepted and travelled overseas something i havent done and in the mean while im stuck at hme,no job,no life im sick if it i feel as thoug im the maid of the house,have to take care of all the chores.I made it my goal to get a license atleast ths year nd i failed my drivers test 3 times already which has caused me to give up for now,the sad part is tht a fwnd of mine got it the first time around and she got a car she drives around in,it gas caused me to dislike her so much to the point tht i ignore her,dnt visit her nd even deleted her on bbm!i feel so jealous and envious towards ha it has caused me to be so unhapply nd feel down all the time,i jst wanna get rid of these emotions abd ve happy again,i hate feeling so bitter nd at ths point im jst prayin to God to heal me nd let me let go and believe that my time will come,i reall hope tht i wl get my license before ths year ends bt at ths point dnt wanna go back-any advice wl b nice,I jst wanna let go of ths nd will await on God to lead me towards the right path for his plans are to prosper and not harm me.
u
Oh! Thank you so much for being honest and sharing this! I’ve been struggling with jealousy over a kingdom, supernatural, redeeming relationship blossom between a guy and gal at our church that’s turned into marriage and I’ve been occasionally jealous about it. But on those occasions the jealous thoughts have been fierce. Thank you for reminding us that Jesus is truly the one that needs to always be the center stage in our minds, hearts, and desires. He is the satisfier of our being! I would like to be married to an amazing, Godly fellow, but the truth is there is only one who is the exact representation of God and His name is Jesus. I’m realizing that with every desire comes great responsibility.
– Fame – You need to care for your followers.
– Big house – You need to clean it, pay for it, and fix it.
– New car – You pay more insurance, and have to be more careful driving and parking it away from other cars.
– A bigger ministry – You have to take care of the more problems you get with the more people, have to deal with jet lag, getting sick from wierd food, staying up late hours, being there for congregation members that are sick and dying, speak at funerals, etc.
– Being married – You have to communicate how you feel, be honest, serve, are misunderstood, get rejected, reject them, etc.
Yet with them all, comes many joys as well.
I loved that you reminded us that God doesn’t withhold good from us. For us to believe He does is to literally believe the oldest lie in The Book!!!!
Jesus has given me everything, I receive His everything, and need His everything!!!
I wouldn’t worry because It means A lot more when he has you around A lot even if you do live with him. be happy he is with you an not with someone else. God Test a lot of people for him to know your strength an weakness to help, but he also dont want you to put your main focus on the marriage an guy. God knows how much you love him an your needs with him an he will be happily help even with me but the hard part is patient an to wait patiently put more focus on God than on your needs AN he will Respect you for that. Remember Respect the game. The devil put shit on tv to brain wash people don’t let that get to you don’t think that romantic stuff like that can happen in real life because if your like me an look for that You will be 20 with No man but hopes an dreams an it sucks. So now Im working on putting my only main focus on God an have Faith. That way it distracts you while God is helping you doing the work an Dont think hes not planning stuff right now as your sitting worrying because hes helping you 24/7 to work on getting what you need but hes not gonna throw you on a river if you cant swim he got to teach you 1st soo you wont drown get it? We all are here for each other.Just Remember tho is matters how you Treat the game if you Disrespect the Game than he wont help the devil will if you Respect it an Only trust God an yourself he will Respect you for Respecting the Game an help more because than he feels your their for him an not just using him for what you want.
Hello Everyone,
God bless all of you for speaking and sharing your struggles. Its true we are called to be open with our confessions at our church, but this is such a great opportunity to share our inner pains with a community of followers from all over. Thank you Bros and sis for sharing. I have been struggling with not being worthy of being in a relationship. I found Christ when I was just starting college. I have been saved and delivered from years of self defeat, numbing my self with drugs, disconnecting from my disfunctional divorced family. Through Grace of God I found to be mended with my relationship with my parents, being serious with school and spreading the joys of Christ. But now I find my self at 23, after fighting depression and drugs I now pay for my lack of grades and training to do anything much with my life. I find my self jelous over a girl who Is faithful and working hard and achieving and moving on to great career to serve the Lord. I on the other hand am so self focused and worrisome about my future, and have only achieved to be back at square one in my life.. I am now worrying about my career and stabillity, I tried going on a date but I found that because of my slow progress at my age that I come across as unfocused and unstable. Even a Christian has every right to not be in a relationship with someone who is not stable, but now I find my self angry and upset at my self for not getting my head on straight, doing well for the Lord, and being in a position to help others but instead find my self loathing over bad grades and poor career options. I am now jealous over the people who do well, and are faithful servants of Christ. I feel worthless, intellectually I know I’m being selfish and thinking of my self. But I still beat my self up for being a loser. I wish that girl all the blessings for doing well, serving the Lord and being a great servant. I hate being jelous over such stupid reasons and thinking that I’m a loser that can’t be with anyone faithful like her. I see my self as misguided, needing of total change, and focusing on the truth that I was saved by Grace. I ask of you guys for prayer for my self hating heart, jealous heart for perfectly great people, and self defeating attitude that only hinders me from serving the Lord. I wish to pray for you guys who are just lost in the murky waters too! Thank you all for sharing your testimonies and helping me realize that we are free and loved! I pray for the Spirit to reside in your hearts, and that no longer we intellectually know we are saved, but in our hearts live and breathe it as truth. Thank you.
-Encouraged
Finding this post was a true God-send for me. I don’t like being jealous and I really need to overcome it but didn’t know where to begin.
I struggle with jealousy in career promotion and advancement. Two close friends of mine (who are also in the same field as me) have both received VP level promotions in the last two months. Becoming a VP has been a goal of mine for some time, but I just can’t seem to break through. To see others promoted before me makes me jealous, which in turn makes me sad. I should be happy for my friends and trust that if God desires for me to advance, it will happen in his time.
Hi I just came across this article today and it helps so much to know that I am not alone in this battle. I have been married to my husband for 8 years and we have known each other for a bit over 10 years. My problem is that he has female friends he communicates via facebook and when I ask who those ladies are he gets upset and tells me that he is tired of me being so jealous, controlling and manipulating. Today to be exact we had a talk and I asked him for a second chance, I said that I don’t want our marriage to go down the drain because of my feelings and that I will work with God’s help to change that part in me and that he will not regret giving me that second chance so he can see the change in me. I will put to work the recommendations on this article, and mainly pray so that God can work a miracle in me. Thank you for sharing, God bless you.
Hi Steve, thank you for taking the time and effort to help me. So I have this trouble: if being jealous about other people’s fame means not believing that Christ alone satisfies, what about being jealous or having a feeling similar to that because you know that God is so so so so good to everyone even when other people whom you know hates God or “steps on Him” yet God still loves and is still so gentle. This is a very sinful thought but I can’t help but feel it.
Thank you for this article. I have been working and praying for my jealousy to go away. It is a roller coaster game because there are times when I no longer am jealous and then there are times when I am losing the fight and am really upset with my circumstances. I am single and have yet to find a boyfriend for a few years and I fight with jealousy almost every week. I thank you for writing this article. I will reflect on the scriptures! This is a slow battle that I cannot win by myself.
Wow… this has truly helped me. Lately I’ve been struggling with jealousy. I believed I had to be better than anyone else and it only brought me down so low. That I nearly thought of just ending my life. This was something that has never ever came into my mind before and that open my eyes that it had to change. Of course all our problems are solved with the Word of God, but I myself am not too great with finding the answers that I need. Thank you once again this Blog it has truly been a blessing. I will continue to pray and seek trusting God to satisfy me. Thank you once again and God bless.
Thank you so much for sharing these encouraging words.
I am more than a conquer in Christ Jesus but my Mumma says that I get quite jealous quite easily. I agree. My sister is honoured greatly in my family because she is a girl who moved to London so therefore needs to be worshipped by all. I must learn to be the girl who didn’t move to London and will take the last seat in the dinner table in Heaven. No one ever talks about the fact that all of my dreams have come true and the fact that I am achieving good grades way better than my sister ever had. It says in the Bible that the last will become first so when I feel jealous that I am the least at least I know I will be great one day. So all of you who are least that are going to Heaven you can come with me to the front. You are not alone in this. Just rejoice and be glad. Doing wrong won’t make wrong right but doing right even when there is wrong makes the situation better.
I’m thanking God for leading me to this blog. Thank you for sharing!
I was so grateful and thankful or it was answer prayer. It was almost half a year already i was in battle of jealousy and envy towards my spouse,my friends and even my family. And struggling and come to a point i cannot sleep because i feel very low and down because of my jealousy. This information is i’m hoping to be the answer and overcome my jealousy. Thank you, And Im happy to receive any advice. Praying to get back my instant communication to our Heavenly Father. God Bless you and Thank you for the great information.
Hey Mr. Fuller,
I thank you for writing this blog. I struggle with jealousy and envy heavily because everyone around me has done or is doing so many cool things but I haven’t. All of my immediate family has traveled to so many places but I have yet to have really gone anywhere. My soon to be fiancee is blessed to go traveling for free with her job and her dad. She just told me she gets to go to the Christmas party at the white house this year and she gets to dress up and I’ll be left behind just like always. It just makes me angry that I am supposed to be content with just doing nothing. I sometimes feel that it isn’t fair that I live an ordinary boring life and everyone gets to do these exciting things, and I’ve felt this way for a really long time. It’s the sin that I have allowed to grow in my heart and I want to be freed from the chains of envy and jealousy. I should be content because Jesus is all I need. I’m going to take the steps you listed. I thank God that I ran across this. Thank you for writing this.
I have a cousin who I really got jealous of. The reason is because she became a whore and I thought men wanted her for her looks and body. She lost her virginity, I got so jealous of it it consumed me. I am overweight, everyone sees my beauty, I never could. I was so jealous of her I literally went insane. When I was at my weakest I wanted to kill myself, end the pain. All I could think was I am not good enough, i should just die, nobody would even care, I’m to ugly or im nothing, worthless. I thought I was the only virgin and thought it was bad to be one cause of her. It still gets really hard for me but the way I see it now is purity is a blessing and I should cherish it. I feel like continuing life now and being proud of purity. But I never said it was an easy road, I still struggle but I am growing and learning things. Hope this helps somebody out there cause pain in the heart will literally kill u completely. God bless!
I battle with jealousy a lot, and am extremely aware and convicted when I get those feelings. This usually involves people very close to me. I find that when I do feel the jealousy, it’s when these individuals do something great for the Lord, are blessed by Him, or are used by Him. I don’t see the same in my own life at that present moment, and suddenly I feel the need to “do” so that I’m not behind them, or I feel like God is withholding and I’m doing something wrong. One thing I saw in an earlier comment which is so true, is that the joy that Christ gives eliminates this and allows you to rejoice when others are used by God. But yes, prayer would be greatly appreciated, because I want to overcome this
Just wanted to say thanks! Your article on jealousy has helped me deal with envy that threatened to ruin some very important relationships. In our youth, my husband and I worked hard to become financially stable and to build a home where we could start a family. But when the time came where we were ready, we found out we weren’t able to. And I have had to watch all of my friends and siblings grow up and start families, most of which started by accident or without thought. I felt like my jealousy was eating me alive literally. To the point where I got physically sick when another baby announcement came. And I hated myself for the way I felt because I knew it was wrong and I knew the envy was poisoning my heart. I could feel it affecting the way I treated people who were lucky enough to have children. But this has helped me realize that I need to trust in God and believe he will not withhold good things from my life and that nothing is out of the reach of prayer.
Thank you for all of the scripture and steps to help me with my jealousy. My in-laws are always helping my brother-in-law and sister-in-law out with bills, clothes for the baby diapers, weddings, college, ect. They never offer to help us in any way. They are always celebrating his status, birthdays, birth of their children, and I feel left out and jealous. I know it is a sin and I confess it, but I always feel terrible and fall back into the sin every time something else happens. Please pray that I will be strong in the Lord, and overcome this life dominating sin.
Hi Pastor,
I felt the presence of The Lord while reading this. Thank you for this message and for including Bible scriptures to combat this sin. Personally, there are multiple things that make me jealous. The main thing, however, is when I see people get a lot of recognition. I desire to be like those people and to be recognized and adored like they are. However, I know that the most satisfying recognition and adoration that I could get comes only from Jesus. It’s just hard for me to accept that, which means I am not fully trusting in Him to fully satisfy me. I have already been forgiven, but I will continue to pray for change and deliverance. Please pray for me also. Thanks again.
I’m blessed to have found you tonight. I’m at a point that jealousy keeps me from being authentically loving towards my brother. I love him but I get jealous over his relationship with our father. I often find myself longing for that same endearment from my father. I’m tired of feeling this way. I’m at a place where I’m out of denial and jumping into freedom and purity of heart in every area of my walk with Christ. So…. Thanks for taking the shame and condemnation out of something that now seems more common than I realized. My faith is built up and a weight was lifted off my heart. Knowing I will be free from these non productive emotion. Thanks please keep sharing it really helps people.
Jealousy is such a big problem for me. It is so hard for me to have genuine relationship with people. When someone I know has something that I want I end up feeling jealous to the point of anger. And the silly thing is, I may have just met the person and I am already jealous.
I know the root cause is thanklessness towards God. I know God is bigger than this and he can do all things, but it is so hard to overcome. Please pray for this problem as it has become such a burden. Thank you, Jp
Hello! I enjoyed reading about jealousy on this website. It helped me a lot. Well, this is my story. My ex-boyfriend and I were dating for more than a year, but I broke up with him because of problems we were having. I did not expect him to react this way, but he started to fight for me. He turned his life to God and pleaded Him to help him! My ex knew exactly what he did wrong and he was putting himself down about it, asking himself why he had not treated me any better than I deserved. So, in his suffering, he found God. God provided him with comfort, strength, and hope. He started reading his bible everyday, and sending me verses. We started hanging out again 🙂 He changed! I started to fall in love with him again because of how much he loved God. It was amazing! I’m still not dating him right now because I need more time. i’ve been staying close to God, and putting all my trust in Him, because I know He has wonderful plans for me. Anyway, one day. I was looking at pics of us on his phone, and a message from a girl popped up, and I shouldn’t have done this, but I clicked on it, and I saw messages between him and her, and he was saying sweet stuff to her like he wants to put a bigger smile on her face and told her a joke and called her best friend. Stuff like that, and I got upset. I mean, I know I shouldn’t be because we are just friends right now, but we both love each other, even though I just need more time. Well, this upset feeling turned into jealousy. I got her name in my head and looked her up on Facebook, and learned that she’s the sister of his older brother’s wife. She’s also very pretty, with two children. Well, you could say. I felt jealous. I felt bad because I thought to myself, “did he truthfully fight for me?” Was it real? Is he gonna go back to his old ways? Cause his old ways were saying sweet stuff to other girls. Not only that, but he is the bestest friend Ive ever had. So, I feel jealous cause he called her bestfriend. Everyday, I go by pretending everything is okay, and I always talk to God about it, no one else. Outside, I pretend I’m not jealous. But deep down, I am. I know I’m not supposed to be, and this website really helped! Do you happen to have any advice for me? Thank you so very much!
This post was such an encouragement to read tonight. I’ve been struggling with jealousy within my dating relationship, specially towards his amazing family and blessed life that I selfishly feel I have been withheld from having by God. I have not been trusting in His perfect plan and it weekly brings me to tears. I am so grateful for the scripture posted to study it and pray through it this week I have set aside to walk upright in my faith rather than slouched over and unsteadily as I have been lately. I’m thankful for any and all prayers to put this sin to death and revere in God’s grace.
Hey,
Im from germany so please dont judge NY writing. 😛
Well my problem is that my GF just left me and i want her back. I think god wants me to put him first in my life but i still long for her.
Im jealous That it will be all to late when im healed and shell have another. PLZ pray for my heart. In Jesus Name.
Ben
This spoke volumes to me. I had a miscarriage a few months ago and my husband and I have been trying to conceive since. Since my miscarriage, I seem to be surrounded with couples who are finding out that they are pregnant. Close friends, relatives, they seem to being coming at me from every direction. I try so hard to be happy for them, but have struggled with being happy with myself. I do not want these feelings of jealousy and envy and this post really helped me to soothe my mind and calm my heart. I have actually read it daily to help me fight the battle I am having and trying to overcome with jealousy.
Hello….
I really value the messages you have given. I saw alot of stories similar to mine. Please know my faith is extremely & deeply devotied to God and our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. My prayer is you might be able to give me some insight onto a path I can take that will lead to happiness…
My fiance & I together for 9 years we have been together since our teens.. after highschol I grad. Early & started work & going to beauty college… he had a hard life was apart of a large family & lost his dad at a young age. He got into trouble & served time…however after he got out he got a good construction job & world hard 4 good pay. I was young & naive when I decided to comment my self and when I gave myself to him I decided that was my partner & I needed to do whatever it took to make the relationship work. His youth did lead to alot of partying behind my back that also lesdd to infidelity and left me hurt at times… we worked through things & I believed he wanted me & a family in god …..we had my daughter early 1 lb 15oz and she was a blessing from god my church and family & friends prayers stay with her to this day years & years later & praise God she is a beautiful happy healthy girl. After she turned 2 my finances partying youth turned to drugs. I thought he had quit being unfaithful later I found out the whole time he was on drugs was unfaithful. I noticed he was using by his attitude he got aggressive angry physical and accused me constantly of cheating completely out of his character. After Nemours cases / instances& threats I began to fear for my life. I felt I needed a restraining order. I did follow through and got full custody of my daughter. We were apart for months & years & everyday I cried & prayed for my family & the spouse he used to be before the drugs. I felt it wasn’t right for me to move on. I believed God wanted me to be faithful & fight for my spouce & family. Bible talkes about infidelity being the only reason to separate& if you forgive infidelity you can not later rebuke them for it. So those werr my thoughts.
He ended up doing time in jail. When he got out the restraining order was over. He was a faithful & fouced man in christ when he came home…we talked about things he prayed and cried for me everyday just as I did for him & my family. We decded to try again the 1st yr was amazingly wonderful. After that his anger resurfaced jealously & physical violence was the worst it had ever been.. he wasn’t on drugs this time….he was just full of anger…..after another year (s) this lead to him getting in trouble once again. He served his time is a Christian mens rehab home. I thought this was the answer to my prayers. His motive and drive was so focused I truly beloved God would be the focus of our family once again 100% & we would never again suffer. ….shortly again after comming home old habits of jealously & anger began again….he did loose his consistancy in going to the rehab church he was going to ….I noticed his attitude sloping when he slipped away from being consistent with them….however we stayed strong in my home church …the church that had prayers for me & my daughter & even him because everyone knew how hard I fought for my family they continued to pray & guild me…however he did not feel the guildness with in my church…& I didn’t feel any love or support for me from his rehab church…I tried to do both for ur family however that eventually frustrated him… he continues to pray after his jealously outbursts however I feel the pain so strong in my heart now….I just dont want to be hurt by the one I love. I pray & pray I know god loves me I know he has not abandoned me but my heart still breaks….is it wrong for me to leave him? Is that abonding my family?
I felt like I abounded him & my family when I needed to show Gods love the most I feard for my life because I wasn’t sure what he was capable of. Now I fear for never-ending hurtfulness pain & agony that never ends because he continues to accused me of horrible things that break me down physically & emotionally break me. He tells me if im not right for him God Wil remove me from his life. I feel like I can never be perfect enough or skinny enough or do everything the right way like he likes it enough. I expressed this to him & cried. I’ve reached out to friends & family & they pray for me…I know becuase they want my family to work as much as I do but what can I do if he continues to live in these moments away from God that are hurting me. He prayers after our fights & then continues the same actions / accusations & pain. Is it a sin to leave him…..even though deep in my heart I still pray he finds god & follows gods ways 100% so he can lead us? I just feel I cant contunie this constant pain & agony anymore I dont know how exactly to help him….
Great reading… I feel like it was written for me. I have been trying to conceive and I am confident that God’s plan are always the best for me.
I will always put the Lord first, because he is my source of happiness..
Priscilla
I came looking for an article like this when I felt a sudden wave of jealousy and was sickened by it, but after turning my focus towards through God through meditation on his word for a while, I began going through the comments. So many of your stories hold much greater pain than I have ever felt and my heart broke for you–I wish I could reply to everyone, but for now I simply offer my prayers to our God who heals hearts. In my case, jealousy is a more recently surfacing sin that arose from my desire to be the only focus of one of my friends, but it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I want it to stop. Running wholeheartedly to scripture has greatly helped though, and in the meantime I’ll continue to pray for the battles of everyone else who found themselves here for one reason or another. Thanks for the article.
sir, my own jealousy and envy is abnormal. I get jealous over everybody and everything. You dont have to be doing better than me for me to be jealous and envious of you. Everybody is a threat to me. I dont even know again if i can say i’m still saved because inside me i know i’m no longer saved. I have prayed, read the bible, fasted, go for counselling all is to avail. This had led me to depression and i have attempted suicide once because of this. I got contact with this post by goggle and i have determined that if i dont overcome it this time, i will kill myself. The torment and shame is just too much.
Hi Ben,
Jesus Christ stands before you right now with everything you need.
His death paid for sin, and when you look to him, even with weak faith, he will help you.
And as you look to him by faith, you can be assured that your sin of jealousy was put to death on the Cross, and that its guilt was paid for on the Cross.
You will still need to fight the fight if faith to kill it day to day — but you are fighting a mortally wounded enemy.
And you fight it, not in order to be forgiven, but because you know you have been forgiven.
And I would urge you to connect with some godly, wise, loving men who can pray with and for you.
Fellowship like that is a crucial part of battling sin.
And don’t believe the lie that you need to take your life. Everything you need is in Jesus Christ, and is yours by faith alone.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I love when a quick Google search brings me to places like this. This post was everything I needed and more. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for six months and it has been a long and jealousy ridden journey. I have been pouring my heart out through prayer but have been unable to ward off the jealousy until now. Thank you for writing this – you have brought my trust and focus back to Jesus.
Although I live a holy life unto the Lord through his Grace, He knows the jealousy and enviousness that stirs in me at times. I am human enough to admit it and searching for this article really helped me understand that I can be real unto Jesus!
My family and I haven’t experienced what it’s like to have holidays or breaks. It’s been over 10 years since we left the UK and we’ve had to endure battles and events in our life (which I know is a part of God’s plan). When it comes to hearing about my friends going on holidays with their family frequently and casually that’s where it begins. Not only holidays and breaks but the unity that they have with their families. I’d be lying to say I get excited for them because to be honest I find it hard. I know they are only expressing themselves but I don’t want to be a person who tells someone else “don’t express yourself because of my suffering!” because that’s self-pity.
Being human however I end up with mixed emotions inside of me, sometimes feeling jealous and enviousness towards them, and I know it’s not Godly. I’ve asked Jesus to forgive me and have given this up to him everyday. Am still battling it because it’s been going on since childhood and from it came anxiety and trust (not being able to attach myself to people), but I know healing and breakthrough is coming soon for my family and I!
What makes this even harder for me is it’s based on a particular friend who I really like and I feel having these emotions could really affect the way I feel about them eventually because I won’t be able to embrace them lovingly. They are not saved (yet) and I am interceding for them and their family in prayer that they find their salvation soon because that’s more important to me for them than anything else. If I didn’t like them as much I can be honest that this wouldn’t bother me at all but because I do it’s a struggle.
I feel so happy writing this to others because I am not bottling it up as I use to many years back. That caused a lot of pain to grow inside of me and God is now only healing me. I do have unconditional love towards my friends and am always their to encourage, but to be honest it’s rare when I get the encouragement back. I don’t ask for it or expect it but when I am going through those times it’s hard to, supposedly, put on a mask. Thank Jesus that there are two pastors whom I go to about this and help me, because they’ve gone/are going through the same.
I ask that those out there would pray for me to stay focused on the Lord as much as possible and to keep my heart right. I gave up my worldly ambition to seek the kingdom of Heaven first but the child-like ambition from Him I once had has gone because of the years of suffering. Nothing on the earth will satisfy me as much as Jesus does BUT in the place that I am in now it’s a battle.
God bless!
Davanan
Thank you for this post it does help me and encourage me. I don’t know if it’s to late but I’m gonna pour out how I feel right here.
It might seem like a dumb kind of jealousy. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about a year and a half now. But before we went out she has a very good friend of hers who is also like a bestfriend to her and they known each other almost their whole life and they went out for about a day and then broke up and then about a week or two later I started to date her. They do still talk and text each other. I feel like I’m afraid to lose her to him even though she constantly reminds me that they are just friends and will never be anything else and she gets upset when I tell her my concerns and tell her and confront her about my jealousy. He has a very good built body and muscles which I do not have. He’s an amazing artist and recently she asked him to make a portrait of her and he did. When she got the portrait of her, a smile lit up on her face that I feel like I was never able to give her myself. I feel like I don’t have any talent at all to satisfy her. I don’t feel good enough for her. We are both men and women of God so I should believe that we can trust each other. We are also our first real committed relationship to each other and we are both 20 years old, and we even go to church together. I just feel like I’m not enough for her when she talks to him. I feel like there’s more joy in her when she’s around him than me. I try not to wear this jealousy on my sleeves when we are all with each other and friends but it’s so hard.
I hate it I want to change. I don’t want to be jealous of anyone who she talks to. Jealousy is the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my life
Pray that the jealousy stops in my mind …. that the devil fleece from me when I call on our Jesus Christ… all these things he whispers in my head thinking about jealousy … hurts me inside because the enemy knows where to get me but I know our Jesus is much higher…. I’m the head and he is the tail ….
Thank you for this encoraging article. I am struggling with feelings of inadequacy in my job. I feel I work so hard but don’t get the results that others get. I realise I am jealous of their success and need deliverance as well as bring satisfied with Jesus alone rather than worldly recognition. Please pray that this would be so. Bless you in abundance as you have have sown.
Good evening.please pray for me.i am a born again christian .poor everything i do fails.i am married .my husband is working i am not .i have so many skills.but nothing is working .we are poor with lots of debt.we go to church every sundays.but its seems we are going down. later i developed jealous with people who rich at my church.its like they are boasting.but today i prayed to God and weeped to him telling him how i feel about this stain called porverty.because i believe the reason i feel jealousy is because i dont have what i wish i could have…i feel preasure inside me.but i trust God will see us through.he promised to bless me so i will wait upon him to deliver us from this stain of porvety.i have this feeling .pray for me.
Thank you pastor for writing this post. It spoke right to me. I prayed after reading your post and felt so much better. I would rather have god’s recognition than the world. God told me to tell you you did a great job.
Thank you for this port. My boyfriend and I have struggled a lot in our relationship regarding our relationship with God and the church. He had a long time relationship with God and the people within our church before we met. After we met, I wanted to be his only focus so he gave up his leaderships and his part in the church. After a year and half now, we are both trying to find our way back to faith even though my boyfriend has always regretted and felt miserable about leaving in the first place. He sometimes would blame me for it was my fault that he let everything go. But even now, when we both try to go back, I seem to be having a huge problem with jealousy. I would get upset that he would focus more with church and how he tries so hard to fit with the people and do things that he wouldn’t do to me. Emotions of jealousy and disappointment came to me and we would fight constantly regarding church. I feel like now, we are going backwards again.. This post is another reminder for me that I need to stop feeling jealous and find my own way back to God. I really hope to end this jealousy and feel like he should only focus on me.
Hi. I am very shy about this. It scares and unnerves me to fo this. I am jealous of other people’s strengths, heroism, friendship and leadership, also want god for myself. Able to take action. I am jealous of other people in marriage since I am still a virgin and want that for myself. I am jealous of people who have a passion in their goal and dreams since I don’t have any goals or dreams to work for and I feel if I just go for just any job I would get bored. I’ve had ADD for since I was a child and it made me hate having it and jealous of people who don’t have it. So it made wanting a relationship with a man scary because I’m afraid he will reject me and what I have. I never been rejected and it scares me. So I pretend that I don’t want it and reject the feeling and bottle it up to keep myself from breaking. I want god in my life to save me from my saddness because it is so hard and saying it to others would make me weep and cry. I don’t like cryong in front of others.
My story is similar to BH’s.But differance is I am married.Just recentlt married August 26,2015.I love my husband so much.I dont care about him being friends with the women who was his ex-fiance.what I dont like is majority of tine when we decide to go out to lunch or dinner my husband asks his ex if she wants to go with us.
Just recently she used one of our cars(we have 2 cars),because her car wouldnt have made it to casino Winnetonka(we live in Alabama).He called me from his job and asked me(which I was shocked).I said okay to it.She picked up the car on Wednesday night,have the car back by Friday afternoon(before husband gets off work).4:00 pm,hes off work,his ex not back with the car,he calls her on her cell,but he walks off into another room,comes back in living room,but says nothing to me regarding why she still jas the car.So yes im mad bcuz it seems like he just wasnt going to say anything about it.Her excuse was,she dropped off her mother,she went to gi pick up her mothers dog from the sitter,a couple other things,put gas in the car&then bring it back.he told her we had things we had to do,she said she didnt know,i think she figured we have another car,why shiuld it matter she’s driving one.My husbands birthday is tomorrow,he was offered free tickets(12 to be exact) for a comedy show at Stardome.He invited her,ok I did get a little angry,i quickly was over the anger.but then she text him&says if she goes she will be ny herself,then asked if she could ride with us,he agreed she could,but then askex me if she could.I agreed to it.
All of the bills are in her name(this was before we got married).I only just found out 3weeks ago,when i got the mail out the mailbox.And i sifted through the stack,and seen her name on the power bill.I sat the mail on the table(put mail with her name on top of stack).He came in from work,grabbed the mail,went to bathroom.He comes out and sits on the couch(waiting,anticipating that he would say something regarding that piece of mail,thats in his ex fiancee’s name).Finally I said to him”So, are you going to tell me about the bill coming her in Dees name.He says “What bill,I didn’t see a bill in her name”.I say “Come on now”,Im the one got the mail out of the mailbox.Then he finally tells me”OH,I forgot to tell you, the power bill is in her name,the water,and Direct Tv is in her name.I feel like I am not the woman of this house.I feel like his ex controls him from her home.My husband says she dogged him when they were together.He takes care of home,he pays all the bills,he spoils me,I told him as soon as I find a job,
her name qill no longer will we see on any of those bills.I just feel like an outsider.She even told me one time talking to her that he moved out her to be with her,but they couldnt work it out.Im just tired of everywhere we are,there she is.Its like he cant tell her “No”!.
i am guilty coz i feel jealous or i envy my workmates… am working hard… doing all i can but they didnt even notice my effort.
i have been working here for 2 yrs and 5 months yet they cannot even increase my salary. but some people who aer giving me all their works got all the increment they need. so unfair and i feel guilty to God coz i am so hurt coz of jealousy.
please help me pray to overcome this.
I am troubled by a different kind of jealousy and I am glad I found your post. I am a new Christian of 3 years and I am jealous of people received Christ only on their death bed, soon after that they go to heaven! They had such an easy deal! But for me, I am struggling to hear him, pleased him, studying the bible and I am now exhausted of sowing and see no harvest at hand. I give up on Him. What is wrong with me?
Good question, Myuk.
Those who receive Christ on their death-bed are gloriously saved and will have joy in Christ forever.
But they have missed out on opportunities to display Christ’s glory here on earth, opportunities which you have.
Yes, the Christian life is a fight. But even your fighting displays Christ’s glory, and give give you more joy in Christ forever than if you had not fought.
So trust God’s plan for you. He orchestrates every detail of your life to bring you the greatest joy in him forever.
I hope that helps.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Praise be to God!!
Let all glory and honour be unto the Lord Most High!!!!
Though this has been a post done a long time back, this has helped me now with my feelings of jealousy towards my bf. I know that our reltp has its imperfections but it is comforting to know that God is in-charge. He has his plans set out for me and with that alone I should be in peace. There might be times some thoughts still enter my mind but I know i can always rely on God’s grace. For all those who get to read this, pls pray for me as I believe that your prayers will help.
Thank you for the word, l have come to realise that lm jealous because of my self righteousness as l feel like God is blessing the wrong people, people that play church and forgetting me as lm more sincere and always have been but l guess it’s not my place to judge may God help me, l don’t want to feel like this anymore, l need God. Please help me pray for God to deliver me and that l may be content and focus on God nomatter what.
Thank you for your transparency and for sharing these scriptures. It’s encouraging to know that we are not alone with the struggles of jealousy.
For me it’s not so much jealousy as just believing that am not complete without this one thing that is missing in my life. While it is a legitimate need and a necessity, I have been overly concerned about this issue so much, I just believed I can not move forward until this need is met.it has my attention always. I just feel not complete, I felt that my success depends on it. You have made me to see that am not seeing christ as my all in all. Which is what He should be. My total satisfaction should come from him… I still need to understand better though. But thanks. And how do you find time to respond to everyone. May God continue to expand your influence.
Thank you for sharing this message. You know what I’ve been a slave of envy not only to my friends but to my fellow christian for more than a decade. I’ve been asking God why He did not gave me a talent like them so that I can serve Him well. I ask Him why He didn’t give me even a good looks. My motives become selfish and its hinder the goodness and greatness of my God towards my life. It leads me to a more serious sin that I commit, which is lust. I search to different person my identity even it cost my body. I thought God does not love me because of the weakness I possess, because of the I didn’t possess any talents or wealth. But one day, God show His mercy through internet and He gave me another chance to walk with Him. He gave me His people that will serve as extension of His mercy and love to me. For the first time, I become important to them not because of physical attributes, talents or wealth but the time we share and their prayers for me including my envy. It was a very difficult decision because its full of battles in my life and the spirit of envy and insecurity tries their best to destroy me but God reminds me always how I am precious to Him. Its a constant battle but day will come that the Holy Spirit will destroy these spirit.
I’ve been feeling jealous lately and I hate myself for it because I know that what God has for me will not miss me. I’m currently working a regular 9-5 just graduated with a masters degree and I attend church every Sunday. I see people around me getting the blessings that I feel I should have. I know it’s horrible and my faith has to be unwavering and I pray to God that he can forgive me and help me to see that he is all that I need. Long story short my bestfriend who is not always the nicest to me, makes me cry, feel bad about myself…. Has all these friends everyone admires him, is about to get the job of a lifetime and here I am… Stuck! I feel like I’ll be in the same place while everyone around me is reaping Gods blessings. Im getting teary eyed writing this because I don’t want to feel this way but I just want to know when my blessings will start coming through. Im 23 with two degrees I’m a really good person and will will do anything for anyone no questions. In my head it’s like God is blessing people with what I feel I should have. Pray for me please. I need it…
Praying for you right now, Mae.
Hi,
I do not know how to put this in a very subtle manner, but truly I have to admit ENVY creeps in every now and then. I am envious that God allowed other married couple to stay together for a long time, even blessed them with wealth, excellent careers and fame. God gave me 2 and a half years with my loving husband until he was called home last May 31 of last year. Painful? Define tragic. No symptoms.. No premonitions… In a wink of an eye..I am WIDOW… Just like that. I trust God and I do trust Jesus..but I have to admit..I still asks him why..I know God’s plan are better than ours.. but why me..Everything I have worked for vanished into thin air just like a wind passing by…sometimes I would pray my heart out and ask God why me Lord…Please pray for me… This is so hard… Jesus please help me Jesus… I am venturing into this depressive state…
I am so sorry for your loss, and will pray that God pours his comfort and grace upon you.
This post brought tears to my eyes. When I read the definition of jealousy I knew why I get so upset about my husband working with a woman 24 hours a day. She gets to spend time with all day and I don’t. It does make me jealous. All I’ve ever wanted was to feel loved by him. My love language is quality time. He is a paramedic, which leaves very little time for me. I married to be close to him forever but most of my married life has been separated from him and it really hurts so bad. I pray about it and I know that God loves me. I’m praying He will help me through. Thank you.
Thank you for this article. I have been struggling with jealousy towards my best friend and a girl that he is attracted to for a month now. It has been affecting our friendship.
Before, when he would have a girl he was interested in I would be very happy for him and even give him advice on how to win her.
As the years past by I’ve secretly fallen for him. Now that he has a new girl in his life, I felt so jealous. I prayed to God to make him fall in love with me. When he told me about this new girl I cried a river. Definitely he can’t understand why. I would become so jealous that everytime I would text or call him and he would not answer immediately I become paranoid. Finally, I decided to let him know that I might be falling for him. I also decided to temporarily say goodbye to recenter myself because I want to save our friendship.
I know that jealousy is not from God so I need to get rid of it. It destroys relationships. I prayed so hard that Jesus will help me and that I may only find peace and love in Him. In my search for help to overcome jealousy I come across this article. It has helped me a lot. I pray that my best friend will still welcome me in his life after I’m healed and that I may truly be happy for him.
Hi Steve,
I recently found this article and I wanted to say thank you.
I have been struggling with intense jealousy for 10 years now to the point where I would get physically sick because of how much mental warfare was going on in my mind. I have constantly come up short when searching for biblical advice on the subject of jealousy. That was, until I found your blog.
Thank you for answers that many do not have, and for biblical clarity on this.
I also want to point out your emphasis on this not being a one time fix. That was something I needed to hear as well; knowing that this will be an issue I need God’s help with day after day is a reality I was not accepting. I kept praying with the expectation that God would “heal” me and take this burden away for good after a few prayers. I know now that is in deed a battle with my flesh that I will have to be armored for each and every day.
Thanks again, I appreciate how God is using you.
I pray for my jelousy to end. it has come to a point that I want to run away from what makes me jealous. move to another place, loose my friends. but that won’t help. where I go it still makes itself home in my heart. it’s making me run , am running. I avoid knowing people because my jelousy consumes me. I don’t want new friends because at some point I will be jealous.what is this life I am living.
I know exactly how you feel. And I’m my case it is worse because I am jealous of my best friend to an extent that I am praying that I move away from her and never see her again.I don’t want things to end on a bad note with us so the best thing is to just walk away and stop letting this jealiusy eat me up. I am praying for the wrong thing I know but it’s so hard. I will pray for you.
I defiantly know how you feel. But I think deliverance is the best answer. Sometimes we feel walking away can fix our problems but that’s not always correct. Jealousy is a spirit so walking out of the spirit is not going to deliver you from that spirit. It will latch to someone’s else. God has delivered me from that spirit and I times my spirit still weakens but with scripture memorizing and ALOT of prayer it fades away. Also talk to your friend and let her know what your going thru and if she or he is a real friend they will walk with you on your journey. Remember we are all human and everyone gets jealous from time to time. Don’t loose a good friend from a evil spirit. Love you and be blessed
thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kim.
I agree that deliverance can sometimes help.
But there are other times when the reason we are jealous is simply because of our own sin choosing not to trust God’s promise to be our all-satisfying Treasure.
in Christ,
Steve Fuller
This is a new area being brought to the service in my heart. Jealousy? It has been a couple years since I felt this makes me feel vulnerable and weak. I’ve been divorced and separated for almost four years. It’s been my children and I since. Now I’m jealous of others in a relationship or rather a marriage. I’m changing my focus to avoid thinking about that desire but I see above it is okay to have the desire and not suppress it. I need to give it to God instead.
Today is day one with this new way of thinking. Great read and it’s very encouraging.
MT
I too have recently discovered that I struggle with the spirit of envy and it’s not that I struggle because of the material things that others have I struggle because when they pray God answers I feel like when I pray he does not answer he makes me wait and suffer I have been waiting for something from him for a long time but I realize that I was only asking for it because I thought it would bring me some form of satisfaction not knowing that he is trying to get me to be satisfied in him. Please pray for me as I work through this season trying to get myself together and keep my envious spirit under control.
Thank you for this post and praise to the Lord for leading me here this morning! Before reading your post this morning the Holy Spirit showed me an answer to a prayer about why I have such anger towards a beloved sister in Christ, amongst other people in my life. Jealousy and coveting. Never in a million years would I have said that I was a jealous woman, but this morning and really through the last several weeks the Lord has been walking me to this realization that I have been a covetous,jealous person most of my life! Who knew! How is it possible to be completely blind to such an obvious truth? Thank you Jesus for showing me this and setting me free from this prison of gut-twisting anger at others that I wasn’t even conciously aware of having; because I have always thought that I was MORE ENTITLED to have what I desired than others who seemed less deserving but yet had what I wanted no matter if it was relationships, situations or material things. Isn’t pride at the bottom of everything? Certainly seems to be the case in my sinful world. Thank you Jesus and all Praise to the Most High God! I’m being released and healed and your post validates it, brother. Thank you.
I struggle with the spirit of envy…. so many times I had tried to pray and be delivered but there is this laziness in doing that…. it’s a must to be delivered from this spirit and I’m willing to do that….. I need your prayers..