Dec 9, 2011
This Morning’s Battle with Jealousy
An explosion of jealousy
This morning while brushing my teeth I thought about a friend, and about something he had that I did not have.
And — WHAM — my heart exploded with jealousy. It was so strong I could feel its cold grip on heart.
I was stunned. Where did THAT come from? And now what do I do?
What can we do?
What can we do when are are full of jealousy?
Try to stop feeling jealous? Doesn’t work.
Think about something else? The jealousy might lessen — but the root of that ugly weed remains. And it will grow back before you know it.
Quote verses? That’s crucial — but verses can’t change our hearts apart from the Spirit’s power.
So we need to pray for the Spirit’s power (Luke 11:13). And we also need the Word, since that’s the Spirit’s sword (Eph 6:17).
Prayer AND the Word
So as I walked to the creek to pray — I prayed for the Spirit’s power, and prayed over God’s Word. I chose Psalm 86:4-5.
I memorized it in the New American Standard Version — so that’s what I prayed —
“Make glad the soul of your servant.”
Father, I am not glad. I am jealous. So, please, make me glad in You. Change my heart by the power of your Spirit.
“For to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.”
I’m not turning to anyone or anything else. Just you. I lift up my jealous, sinful soul to you. Forgive me through Jesus. Strengthen my faith. Help me.
“For you Lord, are good …”
Right now I’m not seeing You as good. I think you’ve been good to my friend but not to me. And I’m thinking that what my friend has would satisfy me more than You satisfy me.
Forgive me. Help me see your goodness. Pour out Your Spirit on me, free me from sin and pride. Change me.
“… and ready to forgive …”
Thank You, Father, for Jesus. Thank You, Jesus, for being punished for my jealous heart. Thank you that I am completely forgiven and clothed in your perfect righteousness by faith alone.
“… and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon you.”
Abundant — Your lovingkindness is overflowing, lavish, and more-than-enough.
And you are abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon you — which includes me.
What happened
As I prayed, the Holy Spirit helped me trust that what God has given me is lavish good — even though He hasn’t given me what He’s given my friend.
He also helped me feel God’s goodness so much that my heart was satisfied in God Himself — regardless of what else He did or did not give me.
Action steps
If you are struggling with jealousy, take some time to pray for the Spirit’s power to change your heart, and then pray over Psalm 86:4-5. I’d love to hear what God does — feel free to leave a reply below.
Do you know someone who would be helped by this post? Use the buttons below to “share” it with them.
And you can read more about battling jealousy here.
(Picture by Channah at stock.xchg.)
Thank you for this; envy is a hard thing to confess, and a harder thing to give up.
I’ve struggled with envy a large portion of my life, but have only recently realized it – and how it has shaped how I unlovingly see/treat others.
Thank you for your vulnerability (: I will have to do some more earnest prayer & Scripture-reflecting
Hi Jeysen,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
I am so glad you found this post helpful. May the Father continue to give you (and me) power over this deadly sin.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
I prayed over the entire chapter and my spirit is now well! If I may confess i was highly jealous of married people. I even lusted after people’s husbands that were friends of mine but that spirit is gone and I am well! God is good!
I am so glad to hear what God did in your heart, Briana. Thank you for letting me know.
In Christ,
Steve Fuller
Your post has helped me to survive the day. I will pray for the Holy Spirit’s help to trust more heavily on Christ. I have asked the Lord to deliver me from envy of my sisters who are complimented for their outward beauty in my presence when i dont beleve myself to be a part of it. It’s been a hard trial but by God’s mercy and grace and this and other post, i can begin the healing process. May you too grow in grace as you share your struggles with that enemy of the soul, jealousy. MAH
Dear MAH,
I am so encouraged to hear that this post helped you. Jealousy is a powerful enemy — but not more powerful than Christ’s all-satisfying glory.
I have seen my struggles with jealousy lessen more and more lately, which is encouraging. I’ve got many other battles to fight, but praise God for his grace to bring about growth.
Keep pressing in to see and feel all that you have in Christ, and that he truly is all you need.
In Him,
Steve Fuller
I ‘thought’ i wanted marriage which i may not but i feels that my friends who God has chosen that gift for God loves so much more then me. Like He adores to wAnt to give them such a gift. Young brides are sworned over with attention and since im not really attention worthy except when i perform well in school or do something bad i felt girls who were well likedby guys ( i never was) so adored and cared for. I never really felt to cared for so yeah i get jealous. Those that cared for me i suppose i should acknowledge more so maybe itz not really anything except coveting anothers favor. I just dont see my own favor i suppose
i have been jealous almost all of my life. I felt God change this around a year ago, but i have continued to struggle with it again and again. I’m believing for a supernatural change in my heart. I will continue to trust him and pray even though I don’t feel like it, and even if I feel hopeless. The Lord always comes through. Thanks for this post!
Thanks for sharing. I was also fighting jealousy with my partner because of our long distance relationship. One day he underwent a critical operatiin prior to and after it we had no chance to talk maybe he was nervous about the operation. We both have emotional connection with each other, i was not feeling well for several days then I prayed to God to whisper in my partner’s ears that I am so worried about his situation and all i need is a message from him whether he if okay or not is enough for me. Before I slept that night, he messaged me not to worry and he is a little bit okay and can manage himself. In that instant scenario, I praised God for interceding in our relationship by telling my partner about my plea. True enough that God answers all prayers and that jealousy was already outof my mind. Thanks God for everyting!
I am so touched by this. I never took in consideration the sinful parts of jealously, let alone admitting my jealousies. I can now confess to God that I have been burden down with jealousies that I don’t want to have. It’s my pride that wouldn’t allow me to see it for what it was. I was and am still fighting with being jealous of my cousin whof does a lot with the church. We were once sooo and worked together on the church at one point. I later felt that I was being pushed out by her taking over what I was called to be over. I was later taken from that area and placed somewhere else. I was upset and made the excuse of it being her, just wanting to be seen all the time, and them being possibly jealous of me. We both played parts in the weakening of our relationship but my soul was blackened with envy toward her abs not wanting to see her do “better” than me. I did apologize before the church and ask her forgiveness for any part I may have played. I thought I was free from it all but here came oh sin. It was placed in my heart that she too should have apologized. And it started again. I am so tired of it. It’s mentally and spiritually draining. I love and miss bet friendship so much but I can’t get pass the envious, petty,competitiveness we have now. I try but it creeps back in. I will be praying this prayer on the daily and lifting up my spiritual desires unto Him. I thank you again. I feel like a burden had just been lifted of me with reading the article, the prayer, the confessions of others, and my much needed confession of my own. Today starts a new chapter of my life called Envy Free.
Hi. Thank you for your page! It helped me out alot. I was feeling a lot of jealousy yesterday and today this morning as I woke up. My heart felt so evil and so heavy. With all these jealousy thoughts. I just prayed about it and in Jesus name my heart felt at peace. I’m thankful that Jesus is always here to listen and help me out. He has done so much for me. I’m just so blessed and thankful for him.
This has been going on for about for about five years now and I only just realized that this is detrimental to my well-being and definitely cannot be pleasing to God. I am a good wife, I work very hard and I do for/help my husband and the burden of making sure we are financially able is all mine. I don’t see my husband’s friend’s wife do those things for her husband, in fact, she works less, lazy and spends money all the time. Yet she has a child because she ask for one and she gets the material things she wants. I have no children, in fact, my husband does not sleep with me and we would be married for four years this year, he stopped months after the marriage and since I have always had my savings from before marriage, if there is something I want or a big bill to pay, I usually have to pay it from that savings. Then about a year ago I met a married couple through a cousin. The wife of that married couple has cheated on her husband and treats him like a servant-boy and he still does everything for her. She also thinks she is the prettiest person and finds things to say against you to make sure you know she is a better person, e.g. when it comes to clothing. My cousin and husband, who are related to that couple, is best friends with them and always does everything together. My cousin and husband has a “better than you” attitude and always finds fault in me, like my clothes, my car, etc.
Here’s the kicker, I AM JEALOUS!! I am jealous of the friend’s wife because I am so incomplete in my relationship with my husband and I am jealous of my cousin who has a very good and close friend with the married couple because I have no friends. I am jealous of the wife of the married couple because she is so not nice yet has a good friend in my cousin. And I desire to very badly for good, Godly friends, none of which these people would be anyway. So if I am such a good wife and a good, giving person how come these people seem to have things that should just simply be a part of a happy life. I really need to stop this jealous feeling. I hate it! I hate feeling like this! I have a lot going for me, a lot that these people do not have, in material and in heart. Please pray for me. I really want to be more Christ-like. Thank you for reading.
thankyou for sharing this artical on jealousy,I struggle with this so much. I prayed through those scriptures and they helped me. I know God loves me and is good to me but reading those verses help cement it into my heart.
This really helped me. Thank you. God heard my prayers through the scriptures and prayers you provided and removed the envy that was bringing me down. God bless you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this!! I have and do struggle greatly with jealousy and this morning I was praying and seeking how to fight it and be delivered. My God bless you and continue to free you from this deadly sin. Thank you for sharing your struggle and how to fight it.
I refuse to say that I have problems with jealousy but I keep praying and I do believe God hears prayers and that it can move.
I really need help there is a deep jeoulously inside myself when my husband lusts at girls in TV it’s killing me. I try to pray and leave him in the room by himself and still this bothers me. I need help there has been adultery on both sides, but I always get ofended and humiliated in front of my own kids by my husband. He doesn’t want divorce because he doesn’t want to give me half of his real state. I go to church had some counceling but he has poisoned all his family against me and they all see me like a adulturous woman I been though alot my self esteem is basically on the floor and sometimes I hate myself and wish to disappear. Please help
Hi Hope,
I received your comment in my mail..I guess I subscribed to comments. 🙂 I just wanted you to know I’m lifting you up to our Loving Father in prayer. He can and will help you. If we humble ourselves and pray, if we seek His face, if we believe, He will be found. He just ask that we believe in His Son, Jesus. He loves you and wants to make you whole and new. I’m praying that you will know how much you are loved, that you will believe in Jesus and the saving work He does for those who believe in Him and repent. He cleanses, makes new and draws us closer to Him. He is our deliverer, our shield, our great reward and our portion. In Him we have everything we need! Only He can satisfy us, save us and deliver is from ourselves. He wants to do it too.
Luke 12:31 “But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you. 32 “Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Luke 12 is awesome and so is John 6.
Be encouraged. There is hope in God. Place your hope in Him. Trust Him. <3
Dear all.
I’m obviously a sinner therefore I am here reading about jealousy, hoping I can find a way to fight it. I’m glad I found you all here.
It’s really a painful thing when jealousy comes to mind. I can’t think anything else other than how I can change the situation. And thank God that I acknowledge that I sin when I trying to think of a way to get the favor on my side. I know that if I tell my parents in law what my sister in law said, my parents in law will be mad at her and of course their favor will be mine. When I see my PIL talk to my SIL I starts to think why I don’t hate her as usual and I realize how evil I am. It’s saddened me that I am facing this problem. I always have the thinking of how to make my PIL continue to hate my SIL.
I knew I sin so I search for help.
These are things that I trying to do when jealousy attack me
1. I start to keep remind myself that God want me to “love your neighbor ” as yourself.
2. I always try to keep in mind that the devil will work very hard to tempt me to sin to talk bad about my SIL with my PIL, so when the jelousy attack me, I keep thinking if what I’m about to say is a kind things or not! Is it a true! What I am trying to do! I have a choice of doing the right things. Don’t let the evil win me…
3. I say out loud to myself my prayers to ask God to help me to overcome this sinful thought. Then when it’s over, I thank God out loud to myself again for helping me. I felt much better every time I can overcome it.
I have to admit that there are many time I can’t fight it. I failed. I didn’t win the battle and I say things that I should keep it to myself. And I felt terrible about that. I feel like the devil is laughing at me. I hate it because it keeps coming back to me. I can’t get rid of it completely and I pray I pray I pray that with the help of our Lord one day I can completely overcome it.
Thankyou for sharing this, As i was reading I prayed God to free me from jealousy and God asked me to specific, name the person against whom I have jealousy and after praying I feel free now! Hallelujah!
I am very jealous over my gf who has more charisma and a more outgoing personality. This makes me feel like nobody is interested in me cos she wins all the attention. So much that i am afraid of introducing her to more of my friends cos she connects in seconds leaving me miserable, even more so cos they are my friends. I feel unwanted and that nobody cares for me and that I’m no good. At the same time I am very ashamed of myself. Even more so because rather than being happy for her happiness, I feel envy, almost hate for her. And this kills me. I feel like jealousy is eating me from the inside, I feel helpless, i cry, i feel my worth go to zero cos i feel unwanted and evil.
There were times when I swallowed my pride and confessed to her that i’m jealous in an attempt to combat jealousy but it keeps becoming stronger and stronger and I can’t tell her all the time i feel jealousy, which is almost whenever I think of her. And i can feek jealousy spreading to other people too.
Oh Jesus please help me, a sinner, in my weaknesses. I know i cannot do it alone. It’s much bigger than me and I know my only help can come from you. You can change hearts Jesus.
So I thank you for sharing this experience cos it has filled me with courage. I only pray i have the patience to keep praying and believing cos in bad times I get discouraged very easily. I am going to say this prayer daily and to ask God for his Holy Spirit to change my heart.
Thank you for these prayers. Jealousy has been consuming in my life. I am jealous of my friend and it seems like life is so easy for her. she is not working but gets boyfriends that gives her everything she wants eg car, money and if i introduce her to my other friends they always give her attention. I feel like i work so hard and i struggle. she gets lots of attention and i don’t.
Oh Father i pray you remove this anger and jealous as i am now starting to hate her and she has done me no harm.
Thank you for sharing . I pray for peace and love in my heart. I need to meditate on this prayer everyday I need a change in my heart.
Yes, the suddenness and power of a jealousy attack hit me today, I struggled all day as to the reason for this. I tried to pray but that hasn’t been my strong point lately. Thank you so much for the simple yet likely to be effective (if I continue to get into the habit of) ways to combat jealousy. I am thankful to know other people struggle with it and that there are solid biblical and spiritual ways to get over it. Thanks again, Darrell
I’m really searching for ways to calm my jealousy. I was in a log abusive relationship that was filled with distrust and jealously. I’m now in a relationship with someone, we have been dating for a couple of months and he lives a few hours away. I trust him completely and I know he would never cheat on me like I feared in my last relationship. So a lot of my boyfriends friends are female and that’s fine, I’ve gotten used to that. But his best friend is also a female who lives several hours away. So it was easier to be okay with her being at a distance. Now she’s in town visiting her family which is the same city he lives in. The moment I heard how excited he was to see her my heart instantly filled with jealousy. Enough so that it has me sick to my stomach and losing sleep. So I like reading about reassuring in myself that God will satisfy me. But every time I think about how much time they’ll be spending together over the next couple of days I just get this knot in the pit of my stomach. I’m really looking for some advice or encouragement. I’m at a loss for what to do but I hate this taking over my life so much.
Hi Steve,
Thanks for your post.
Went evangelising with a friend and his sister and a couple young people were healed by the power of Christ.
And I tried but couldn’t do anything.
I think now it is because of my jealousy in the way God uses him and how in tune he is to Gods leading, I think it is also pride.
So thank you and and God for your vulnerability, and pray that you continue in that vulnerability to surrender things of your heart to Jesus because he does heal.
Blessings
You are so welcome, Sebastian.
Thank you for this post! I struggle with insecurity and jealousy. It is towards other beautiful women. I consider myself beautiful but as a child was sexually abused and also my mother never told me I was beautiful or smart and treated me badly and rejected me when all I ever wanted was a relationship with her. I have had many female friends hurt me and I have had relationships where the guys were unfaithful and lusting after other women through porn, chatting sexually online or in person. I wish I knew how to completely get rid of it. I am typically only jealous when my spouse is present. Fearing that he would prefer another woman that I think is beautiful over me. If you have any advice or can pray for me I would really appreciate both. I am a kind and loving person and I know this feeling doesn’t belong in my heart and mind and is holding me back and slowly destroying me and eventually my relationship if I let it continue. Thank you.
Lord we all here are struggling with this sin call jealousy that is a root of all evil. Lord help each and every single one of us deal with it in a wisdom and strength that only comes from you Lord. We are desperate hurting wanting to change and break free from this stronghold in us Lord lead and speak to each one of us and do only you can do pour your love on us which is healing for our sick hearts lift our minds out of deception and the lies we believe that leads us farther away from you. Our help only comes From you if you don’t help us nothing will change Lord help us to want to help our selves to have faith its hard God cause some of us been dealing with jealousy for long time and its the worse feeling ever it torments us Lord our minds and soul it makes us feel so evil and hopeless Hear this prayer from your servant praying for myself and all the others who is dealing with this stronghold of jealosy we know you’re greater than any stronghold and bondage we are facing help us Lord for our help only comes from you may this prayer be accepted unto us Lord and be done in our lives that we may be free from this sin and free to serve you and love you and others in Jesus name Amen
I struggle with Jealousy. I feel very jealous of others I perceive to be better than me. Anything… From social life, to intelligence, to looks. I always compare… Even between other people, trying to get in their head and imagine they are jealous. God help me.