Dec 2, 2011
An unusually quick battle — over this blog
A few days ago I headed down to the creek near my house to walk and pray. And as I often do, I took a look at my heart to see what was going on.
What I found wasn’t pretty.
I knew I would launch this blog in a few days. And (I’m embarrassed to admit it) my heart was going back and forth between fear that this blog would be a belly-flop — and excitement that it would be seen as ABSOLUTELY AWESOME.
Yech.
This showed that I had turned from trusting Jesus as my Treasure, to trusting this blog as my Treasure.
So I talked to the Father about this.
I came to Him as I was, trusting Jesus’ blood and righteousness to forgive and cover me.
I confessed my vanity and pride. I asked God to wash me clean and change my heart.
And then for some reason I thought of Abraham and Isaac. I felt like this blog was my Isaac. That God had given it to me, but that I must surrender it to God — lay it on the altar — for God to do with it whatever He wanted to.
So that’s what I did.
And something happened that for me was amazing.
See, usually it takes some time praying over God’s Word before I start to feel even a little of the Spirit’s heart-changing work.
But this time — in God’s mercy — it took about 15 seconds.
God quickly and deeply changed my heart. Both the fear and the excitement were gone — and I felt an overwhelming desire to know and love Jesus.
Losing Jesus felt infinitely worse than having a belly-flop-blog. Having Jesus felt infinitely better than having an awesome blog.
I was free.
What this taught me:
- Keep watch over my heart (Prov 4:23).
- Come to the Father in Jesus just as I am for help (Heb 4:16).
- The Holy Spirit can change my heart no matter how messed up I am (Luk 18:27).
Until next time —
Steve
Thank you Steve, perfect start to the new blog. I know God will use it for His glory no matter what. I look forward to growing in Christ with you along the way.
Bill
Great to hear from you, Bill. You are missed! I have lots of fond memories of being in home group together. Thanks for your encouragement, and for keeping in touch.
Thanks for this Steve! As a blogger myself, I know first-hand how easy it is to have my blog take priority over Jesus and it’s something I always need to be conscious of.
Love your heart for Jesus, Natasha!
Hey Steve,
Can totally relate. I may have told you that I’ve felt that missions in West Africa is my Isaac. It has felt like an idol in some sense. I’ve had to lay it down and trust that if the Lord wants us there He’ll open the door. In the meantime, I’m pursuing something in Kenya (East Africa) that the Lord may be us toward.
“Father, thank You for Brian’s patience and surrender to You. Thank you that You will make known to him the path of life (Psa 16:11). Do that for Brian, for the glory of your name. Amen.”
Steve,
This is why me and my wife fell in love with you as a pastor and your church because you are first to let us know that you are constantly struggling even with the faith that you have you are always humble enough to let everyone know that you are not perfect and that gives me and im sure other people assurance and comfort that they are not alone in the battle. Thanks again for all you do!
Thanks for the encouragement, brother.
Thank you for sharing. This is quite true about what happens to me a number of times. I am so encouraged to realize that I just need to come to the Father in Jesus just as I am, for help, ans He will change my heart, and do His work in and through me. Thanks once again.
It IS amazing that we can turn to Jesus Christ just as we are — and receive everything and anything we need.
I have found that this often involves a battle — the fight of faith — but He is worth it all.