Oct 22, 2012
At 10:15 last night I got an email.
I can’t go into the details, but as I read it my heart sank. I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.
I felt hopeless — discouraged — devastated.
What to do?
I had a couple options.
I could ignore my feelings — and move on to something else.
I could sink into despair, self-pity, and anger.
I could try and will-power myself into feeling positive.
Or — I could turn to my Father.
God gave me grace to turn to Him — and I prayed something like this —
Father, this hurts. Help me.
Thank You that because of Jesus’ shed blood I can come to You as I am — in my despair and discouragement.
Forgive me for the unbelief in my heart.
All I’m seeing now is this email. I’m not seeing You — Your power, Your goodness, Your sovereignty.
By the work of Your Spirit — meet me. Open my eyes to see You. Help me.
In hindsight — this would have been a good time to open God’s Word and ponder His promises.
Because if I’m being attacked — why leave my Sword in its sheath (Eph 6:17)?
What I did instead of turning to the Word was to go —
Back to the email
I read the email again — more slowly this time.
Didn’t help. I still felt despair. I was not seeing God.
But thankfully — I did pray some more —
Father, what does this mean for me?
How should I respond to this? Help me.
And then —
As I continued to pray and ponder — suddenly a new thought came into my mind.
It felt different than my usual thoughts. It felt pure — good — loving — strong.
It was in sync with God’s Word and it exalted Christ — so I could tell —
It was from God.
God was giving me a different way to look at this email.
But I was still feeling pretty low, so —
Time for a walk
I put on my coat, and headed outside for a walk.
That’s when I pulled out the Sword. I prayed over promises like Jeremiah 29:11 and James 1:5.
That’s when I started to see things more clearly.
I saw what God was saying to me.
I saw that this email was a gift from God — an opportunity to receive something from Him.
I saw that God was using this to confirm His calling on my life.
My despair and hopelessness had been replaced by faith and strength.
I felt His presence — sensed His love — felt His hope.
My walk had taken me around the block. I was back home.
And — back Home.
Here’s what I learned from last night —
- Every trial and pain is an opportunity to meet God in a fresh way (2Cor 12:9-10)
- Because of Jesus’ shed blood we can always turn to the Father just as we are — and as we do He runs to help us (Luke 15:20).
- When we seek God with all our hearts, we will find Him (Jer 29:13).
- God will give us all the wisdom we need when we ask Him (James 1:5).
How have you experienced this?
I’d love to hear — leave a reply below. Thanks!
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And here’s some related posts you might find helpful —
- Feeling Discouraged or Hopeless?
My 5:30 AM Battle
How To Extinguish Every One Of Satan's Flaming Darts
Asking Why? Here's God's Loving Purpose For Every Trial
(Picture is from Everystockphoto by James Cridland.)