Dec 9, 2011
This morning while brushing my teeth I thought about a friend, and about something he had that I did not have.
And — WHAM — my heart exploded with jealousy. It was so strong I could feel its cold grip on heart.
I was stunned. Where did THAT come from? And now what do I do?
What can we do?
What can we do when are are full of jealousy?
Try to stop feeling jealous? Doesn’t work.
Think about something else? The jealousy might lessen — but the root of that ugly weed remains. And it will grow back before you know it.
Quote verses? That’s crucial — but verses can’t change our hearts apart from the Spirit’s power.
So we need to pray for the Spirit’s power (Luke 11:13). And we also need the Word, since that’s the Spirit’s sword (Eph 6:17).
Prayer AND the Word
So as I walked to the creek to pray — I prayed for the Spirit’s power, and prayed over God’s Word. I chose Psalm 86:4-5.
I memorized it in the New American Standard Version — so that’s what I prayed —
“Make glad the soul of your servant.”
Father, I am not glad. I am jealous. So, please, make me glad in You. Change my heart by the power of your Spirit.
“For to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.”
I’m not turning to anyone or anything else. Just you. I lift up my jealous, sinful soul to you. Forgive me through Jesus. Strengthen my faith. Help me.
“For you Lord, are good …”
Right now I’m not seeing You as good. I think you’ve been good to my friend but not to me. And I’m thinking that what my friend has would satisfy me more than You satisfy me.
Forgive me. Help me see your goodness. Pour out Your Spirit on me, free me from sin and pride. Change me.
“… and ready to forgive …”
Thank You, Father, for Jesus. Thank You, Jesus, for being punished for my jealous heart. Thank you that I am completely forgiven and clothed in your perfect righteousness by faith alone.
“… and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon you.”
Abundant — Your lovingkindness is overflowing, lavish, and more-than-enough.
And you are abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon you — which includes me.
As I prayed, the Holy Spirit helped me trust that what God has given me is lavish good — even though He hasn’t given me what He’s given my friend.
He also helped me feel God’s goodness so much that my heart was satisfied in God Himself — regardless of what else He did or did not give me.
If you are struggling with jealousy, take some time to pray for the Spirit’s power to change your heart, and then pray over Psalm 86:4-5. I’d love to hear what God does — feel free to leave a reply below.
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And you can read more about battling jealousy here.
(Picture by Channah at stock.xchg.)